[b]Fuck TV ads About Bodily Functions, etc.[/b]

Enough allfuckingready with with the TV ads about human bodily dysfunctions!
Loss of bladder control, laxatives, adult diapers! Tampons, whee! Wings! Denture cream for a new generation! Dick enhancers!

Side effects may include headaches, constipation, death by hanging, and dry mouth.

Jeez, we’re eatin’ dinner here!

Jesus jumping fishboats – whenisenoughallfuckingready?

Last line should have been: whenisenoughallfuckingenoughaleady?

I’m sick of it to but I gotta tell you. At dinnertime, turn the TV off and try a little conversation.

I don’t know, I kinda like the first way better.

Oh, and yeah - those commercials suck and stuff.

Oh, I agree. And I don’t have the TV on at dinnertime…I HATE HATE HATE tampon & sanitary pad commercials.

I don’t mind the laxative ones so much. I mean, do they hold the same graphic impact the sanitary pad ones do? The sanitary pad ones hold it up, and tell you how damn much blue water it absorbs! For the laxative, we’d have to see people running to the bathroom. YUCK.

Or they could do a similar clever substitution and show a toilet bowl filled with fruitcake.

We in the industry prefer to refer to them as ‘cock magnifiers.’

What’s so graphic about blue water? At least they don’t go for that extra touch of realism and use partially set cherry Jello.

“Imagine this pitcher of tea is really a gallon of your feces…”

I could quite happily go the rest of my life without hearing the words “vaginal discharge”, thank you very much.

At least there haven’t been any commercials lately with talking toilets.

I agree. I hate it when they show some hot woman running on the beach and just when my mind begins to wonder they begin to reference mentrual cycles, etc. Just kill the moment we, err…I, was having.

I was a very young newlywed when they first started airing those. Since I’d been raised to be very discrete and ladylike about such things, they embarrassed the hell out of me every SINGLE time. And the ones in the late 70s, about when they came out, were just SO obnoxious too, just so incredibly cheesy.

So, whenever one came on the tv, especially if there were people visiting, I’d get up and go get water, go to the bathroom ANYTHING to escape watching FEMINNE PRODUCT commercials with MEN in the room. (I know, I know, but it just wasn’t “done”).

My then husband, bless his ORNERY conniving heart, knew how badly they embarrassed me, so when I’d get up to leave, he’d very loudly ask (picture this in a very strong southern accent ala Jeff Foxworthy that he exaggerated for comic effect too) “hey HonAaay? where yew GOin? You don’t wanna MISS this one, she say’s she’s lost that ‘not so frayush feelin’…” and so on.


Well, I did eventually get over the embarrassment, for the most part, but I still hate them all. I boycott as many of them as possible the more obnoxious and embarassing their commercial the more likely I am to never buy their product.

I must be dense, refer to what as “cock magnifiers”? The commercials, the feminine products, the laxitives???

There will be now thanks to someone pointing it out :dubious:

Second line of the OP mentions “Dick Enhancers” I think that was the connection.

It *is * graphic. Really, I’m going to figure out which tampon/sanitary pad I use trhough trial and error, or rather, I already have. I am not going to pick one based on a gross commercial on TV. I don’t see any need for it to be even mentioned. This should be the ad:

Gorgeous woman runs along beach.
Voiceover: “Playtex brand tampons. Made for you.”
Cut to next commercial.


I hate the boner pills commercials. I mean, come on! I’m the Worlds Least Successful Bachelour™. I don’t need an erection! I don’t need to be reminded that other guys get so much play that they need help to keep it up.

And Valentine’s Day commercials. Yeah, that’s what I want. Commercials that remind me I’m alone – especially now that my engagement has been called off.


I don’t mind discussing periods with other women. I am not all that repressed. But I do NOT want to hear about heavy flow days on TV over dinner or something, even if I am having one. Especially since I already know what products I like, and which I hate and will only use in a dire emergency.

Of course, if other women do the same thing as you and choose their tampons etc. through a process of “trial and error,” there should be no need for commercials at all.

And it’s interesting that you would prefer a commercial that consists of nothing but irrelevant objectification of women’s bodies to a commercial that at least attempts to offer a stylized demonstration of how well the product works.

Exactly what does a gorgeous woman running on the beach have to do with the quality of tampons and sanitary napkins? Personally, i find the way that most commercials make appeals based on irrational emotion and sex appeal to be more offensive than a bit of blue liquid on a cotton pad. YMMV.

I’m remember a Margaret Cho bit where she was saying that she was watching TV one morning and a woman came on to talk about her period and the brand of sanitary napkin she used. Later that afternoon, the same woman was in a different commercial talking about vaginal odor. Margaret’s response?

“Honey, I know WAY too much about your vagina.”