[b]Fuck TV ads About Bodily Functions, etc.[/b]

This is Bob [big stupid smile]. Bob couldn’t get it up. Now Bob is a success in everything he does, thanks to drugs. And he has a very happy partner in the clubhouse [she has a big stupid smile too]. I swear, they are both so butt ugly, they probably would need drugs to get in the mood even if the “plumbing” worked perfectly. Nobody I know, would want to have sex with either of them, even on a double dog dare.

It is unsettling too, that they both look just like someone who was just killed by the Joker. Creepy.

I can’t believe no one has mentioned that one portraying a cartoon gob o’ mucous camping out in your lungs. Now there’s an image you don’t want to see as you’re lifting a spoonful of split pea soup to your mouth!

I think you’re looking at it the wrong way - you’re Very Successful at being a Bachelor.

(That was a joke, intended to lift your spirits, not kick you while you’re down.)

I can handle the tampon commercials. I can handle the erectile disfunction commericals. I’ve even learned to tune out the rapid-fire speech medication disclosures at the end of commercials where they talk about horrific side effects. What I cannot handle is the animated toenail fungus guy. Sheesh, he creeps me out!

Thanks for trying, but nothing will cheer me up. Ever.

How are the people with those problems supposed to know what’s out there for them? Poor you, you have to listen to a commercial when you should probably not even have the TV on in the first place! Have you ever thought about the people who need those products? I’m sure they have much worse problems than you.

This is a good point. Still, we can’t go out and say “no commercials for things that make me go ick, ever”–some people need to know about those products.

I’d been wondering about that–how are you these days? Has the world stopped spinning yet? (I don’t mean this sarcastically or in any other negative way.)

My thought on these commercials in general: Do you really have to tell someone about these products?

Don’t you think that if you have herpes, you are going to find a doctor and get suppressive medicine? Do you really have to sell it? I Guarantee that someone has a horrid walnut of pain on his or her butt, he or she would find prep H in record time even if there were no commercials.

Slightly off-subject. Other commercials that are almost as bothersome, those damn drug commercials that you can’t tell what they treat–they just make everything seem better… What are you selling, soma? Great, I’ll take two and please point me in the direction of the community orgy. I hope I meet an alpha…

I don’t watch much TV, partly because I can’t tolerate so many of the commercials.

That said, the closest I’ve ever come to destroying a functioning TV set was when I was curled up on the futon in front of the TV, whimpering in pain from cramps, and a commercial for Tampax or whatever the hell came on. And oh no! This dashing young lady wasn’t going to get to go swimming at the beach with her drop-dead gorgeous male companion, because she had no tampons!

Bah. If that’s the least of your troubles that time of month, I want to hurt you.

Good point. They only ought to air commericals for people who have no idea the products exist. All drug commericals should only be shown in waiting rooms and the tampon/pads ads should only be shown in middle school health classes.

I’m waiting for the makers of pads to do something initiative with their products - like package them in a color other than blue. I pity any kind husband, boyfriend or father who is confronted by shelf after shelf of blue packages with nearly identical illustrations on them.

Well, fetus you may have a point:

fetus - How are the people with those problems supposed to know what’s out there for them? Poor you, you have to listen to a commercial when you should probably not even have the TV on in the first place! Have you ever thought about the people who need those products? I’m sure they have much worse problems than you.

You are, of course, correct in assuming that any halfway intelligent human being with a symptomology dire enough to cause concern would not consult a medical professional, or, at least, google their symptoms for a quick fix.

Poor me. I should have foreseen the necessity of creating such blatant, fuckmuffin ads as the public service they are, rather than the greedy, appeal to the lowest common denominator that I took them for.

I am in your debt, fetus

Well then fuck you all for interfering with my making informed consumer decisions regarding my Continual Blue Fluid Leakage. I know many of you may not suffer from CBFL, but for those of us who do, it’s nice to know which products are available. For the longest time I just had paper towels taped to me, and frankly that’s embarrassing. :smiley:

Ironically, I think the reason drug commercials have to do that is because if a commercial actually says “May help treat allergies,” there’s some FDA regulation that says they must also say “[sub]Alsocausesvaginaldischargeandanalleakage.[/sub]”

The worst part of those commercials was when my aunt used to exclaim, “Oh, no, a blue monthly!” She didn’t do it every time, but once was more than enough.

hijack

See, I can’t imagine EVER asking a boyfriend or husband to buy tampons or pads for me. And I sure as HELL would never ask my dad. And I don’t understand women who do. I mean, you know it’s coming every month, how can you not be prepared? What precipitates the need to have your SO have to go buy them?

end hijack

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

It’s a bathroom product, not four ounces of crack or a canister of enriched uranium, ferchrissakes. What’s the problem with asking your SO to pick some up for you? Provided, of course, that you tell him exactly which brand/size/type/whatever that he should be looking for.

I know how often i need to shave. Doesn’t mean that i don’t occasionally run out of razors, or that i would somehow feel embarrassed about asking my wife to pick some up for me.

I swear, the way some people talk about this stuff, i’m surprised they’re not still calling it “the curse.” It’s a natural bodily function.

I like the charmin commercials with the bears shitting in the woods.

But come on, the only company with the balls to show what toilet paper is REALLY used for has to use anthromorphic animated bears?! :confused:

needs an OMGWTFBBQ! smiley

Darth Nader’s reference is to this old SNL bit- which, in my opinion, is the funniest thing that show ever turned out.

Thanks for reminding me, Darth. You made my morning. :smiley:

Well, I wasn’t saying it in some sort of rabid 1950s grandmother way. But the fact is, it’s a specifically female product, designed for an purpose which has unpleasant effects and images. I don’t think shaving products are a good analogy. Maybe some prostrate products or penile dysfunction products, I don’t know.

As I said, I don’t think those who do it are somehow “bad” or something, I just can’t imagine doing it.

FTR, my former SO, still best friend thinks this attitude is HILARIOUS and never fails to tease me about it. (I didn’t even like buying them when he was anywhere in the vicinity, and would try to “escape” to that part of the store alone to get them if we were shopping).

Yeah, I know, I know, I have residual holdover “ladies don’t discuss these things” embarrassment, from my teenagehood in the 70s, about this. He was raised by an extremely open forward thinking mom, so has the same attitude you and many do, that of “what’s the big deal”.

So yeah, MY ownership of this prejudice.

Don’t worry, I’m roundly teased about it on a regular basis, and am not as bad about it as I once was, STILL don’t like it though. :slight_smile:

Well, sometimes you forget that last month you used up all but the last two in the box! And so what do you do? It is a bit, er…messy, you know, and you may not want to risk a personal trip to town. So you ask someone to help you out!

Not that this has ever happened to ME or anything…

I would never know my four hour erections were not normal without these commercials.

Ladies, how ‘ya doin’?