Babelfish in the workplace

I would like trained macaques. They would be sweet!

Carry on…

As machine translations go, that’s really good. I’m impressed. It’s still unprofessional, but much better than you otherwise might expect.

This may sound odd, but they may be illiterate in Spanish. I am. Spanish was the first language I learned as a kid…but I didn’t learn to WRITE in Spanish, only to speak it. I learned to write in English (and that not all that great…the schools in South Tucson weren’t exactly the best in the world). It’s possible they could do an accurate translation of the paragraph from the OP…but for one thing they may not be able to write it (or spell it) well, and for another it may not be in ‘standard’ Spanish but in idiomatic Puerto Rican Spanish.
I feel the OP’s pain though…sometimes the world really does resemble Dilbert…

-XT

Update: Instead of using the Jabber, I ran a translation of the original Spanish through bablefish and dropped it in the lower text box for the slick I gave to my boss. Babelfish helped me out a little by not recognizing the imperative mood, and converting it to third person simple present. And, since English usually doesn’t have implied subjects, adding “it” before the verb, so the only comprehensible parts read as if they were written by Buffalo Bill.