Baby's Day Out (teeny tmi)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This morning I emailed the following passage to my husband at work:

Good news!!! The Baby’s poo is almost normal!

He replied with: That’s wonderful!!!

Keep in mind, when I say baby, I mean 15 month old toddler.

Now, you may ask yourself why two otherwise normal people would be so excited about baby poo, but I tell you, three children change your priorities (and increases your ability to accept almost any situation with amazing sang froid).

Our story begins on Saturday last. Husband and I were planning on doing a little light shopping in the city before we went on to the regular grocery/necessity shopping. We stopped in for a nice lunch at a local sub and pizza joint where we were excited to discover that the baby now understands marinara! Understands marinara? He knows that he is supposed to dip his breadstick in it before eating the breadstick!!! Joy!!! Proof positive we are raising our children right! We proceed, with great merriment, to finish lunch. The baby consumse as many marinara dunked breadtsicks as his little round body can hold, topped off with pink lemonade and ranch dressing covered cheese (we got caught up in the moment).

On to the Game-X-Change store where husband once again talked himself out of buying Twisted Metal Black for the PS2. On to Pier One, which I negotiated in trade for the stop at the Video Game store. With the Baby on his hip, my husband followed me through the winding maze of home decor. I filled my basket, admired things, asked for his opinion, and then turned to the display of chenille rabbits. They are really soft, btw. I choose a white one and hold it up, waggling it, in front of the baby.
" Oh, look, Joey!" I cried, “Look at the pretty bunny!”
Joey looks at me and curls his lip, then turns to his father with a very strange expression on his face.
Daddy says, “What’s wrong son? Don’t you like the rabbit?”
Joey turns further towards him, looks him in the eye and says,
“VVVVVVVVLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRPPPPPPP”, upchucking his entire lunch of marinara covered breadsticks down the front of my husband’s shirt. Husband and I look speechlessly at each other, I put the rabbit down, we walk toward the exit. As I pass a Pier One employee I say, “Could you please take this basket and put it away? The baby just vomitted all over my husband, so we are leaving”.
That young girl looked so nonplussed to take that basket from me.
This of course was followed by more vomitting and diarrhea, and massive amounts of laundry, so you can now understand our excitement over the poo that now bears resemblance to bright yellow cottage cheese.

2

Having been dampened, soaked and otherwise covered in every form of liquid and/or solid a child can bring forth … I say, “Hurray for normal poo!!”

3

I say…obvious sig material for a certain poster with a 4 letter username.

4

I knew the moment I saw ranch-dressing covered cheese what was coming…

As least MiniFaerieBeth didn’t throw up in the Pier One shopping basket. Now that would have been most distressing.

5

Never should a single post contain these two sentences:

The Baby’s poo is almost normal!

&

He knows that he is supposed to dip his breadstick in it before eating the breadstick!!!

6

I know, and this is where my hubby gets bonus points. In an act so selfless that it will go down in dad-history, He resisted his natural urge to hald a vomitting child at arms length, and instead, clutched Joey to his chest so as to catch all the vomit cup-like between him and the baby. He spilled nary a drop! He’s so cool.:cool:

7

Mr. FairieBeth gets bonus points for that one!

8

Another mom of toddler here to say there is no better day than when all is normal in poo-ville!

9

yes, i am a saint. :slight_smile:

the worst part of the whole ordeal was the sad look on FaerieBeth’s face when she realized that even though she had shouldered through my objections, she was still not going to be able to purchase the neon straws with built-in paper parasols attached.

of course, though i hate to admit it, my father was once again right. he taught me from an early age to always have 4 things on me: a watch, a pen, a hanky, and an undershirt. that advice has come in more handy than just about any other i’ve ever had.

-stonebow
aka Mr. FaerieBeth

10

Welcome Saint Stonebow. You and the Mrs. are fairly new here so I just wanted to welcome you aboard. We can always use someone capable of catching unexpected vomit! :smiley: