Well, Una came into town today at 4:00. She came over to my house, met my family, and gave me a laptop computer! As if that wasn’t exciting enough, we decided to go out to dinner…and more.
We went to a nice Mexican restaurant where we spent 2 hours eating and chatting about various things. (I had the Carne Asada, she has the fajitas). She’s a very good dinner companion, the conversation never lagged.
Afterward, I noted the night was young. So I suggested that we go to a certain store a few miles away in Concord. A friend gave me directions. The store is an Adult Toy Store, and it’s a very nice one too. Nothing like I expected. You see, I need toys for my honeymoon in 3 days. I want to make sure that we have a lot of things to uh…experiment with.
Well, Una and I walked around the store looking at the various vibrators, lotions, dildoes, lingerie, masks, books, games, toys, and movies. There was a wide array, and I wasn’t entirely sure what I should get, or even where to start!
Una offered helpful hints, but ultimately it was all my decision.
First I decided to buy edible lotion. Seedless watermelon flavored (yum). Then I chose chocolate body paint. (double yum).
We loked at the wall covered in vibrators, and I tentatively chose a pink one. But I wasn’t entirely pleased with that, so we went into the back room where all the explicit toys were at.
There I found it. No, I did not find The Juicer, which is really too bad. But I did find something that might work pretty well. It’s a 4 1/2 inch vibrator that came with 4 different sleeves. Each with a different shape and purpose. Very interesting.
Then I noticed the wall of butt-plugs. I said to myself, “Self, do I need a butt-plug?” I answered, “Hey, who doesn’t need a butt-plug?” So, into the little black bag it went.
Our shopping spree was almost over, when we stumbled across the wall of masks. I chose a nice, soft purple one. I didn’t need to buy the cuffs though, because we already have some.
We looked briefly into the room with the movies, but there were some creepy old men in there, so we didn’t really spend time there. I figure that if I needed porn, I could look online. Or, we could just order some at the hotel if we want to watch it this week.
I went up to the counter, and finally began to be embarrassed. You see, I have never been in a porn shop before. But Una, as helpful as she had been up to this point, declined to take it to the counter for me. So, I had to do it. I gasped at the damage though. I mean, who knew some simple sex toys would be so expensive? I guess I’ll just have to prove to Jaime that it was all worth the price.
Una then brought me home, where my mom asked “Where have you been all night?” I didn’t have a good answer, so I didn’t answer at all.
She’s coming by tomorrow, and I can’t help but wonder…“How can we top this!?”
Between the two creative minds of you and Una, I’m sure you’ll think of something!
I just have to say, this:
is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.
That would make a great testimonial for the Butt Plug industry if they needed a new ad campaign.
DAMN!
The one time I come up with a semi snappy reply and this happens. I’ll never show my face, or my ass for that matter, here again!
Um , repressed UK doper here…
What exactly is the point of a butt-plug?
I’ve often wondered, but was afraid to ask.
pepperlandgirl, let me be the first to say: You shameless hussy!!!:eek:
So, how YOU doin’, pepper?
And** Una**, how YOU doin’??
Well, duh! To plug your butt, of course!
Sheesh!
Why?
And why buy a dildo that’s only 4 1/2" long, or do the sleeves make it bigger?
Sex toy stores are so fun, aren’t they? I’ve been in several, though I haven’t bought anything terribly exotic. Like butt plugs.
What’s a nice, little Mormon girl like you doing in a SEX SHOP? I for one, am APPAULLED! Utterly SHOCKED!!!
ehehehe…Impressed…shy little thing that I am, I’d NEVER have the nerve.
I shopped last year for a woman I’ve never met face to face. Her husband died in a violent accident, we’d all been friends before his demise.
She was frankly going out of her skull, sexually. I offered to buy her some toys and send them to her. I won’t say where she lives ( god knows what regulations I violated sending her stuff in a box by an as yet unnamed method ).
It was pretty fun, since I was one step removed. She had no idea what I was going to get. Apparently it was the right gift. God knows how I made the choices I made in that store, but it’s now a part of her life- and the life of the man she’s met.
Weird how you affect other people’s lives. Pepper, sounds like you all had a great time. Tell your mom you were at Vespers
Cartooniverse
It was a pretty nice and clean store, and in a decent part of town, so it was almost like stopping in a Sexual Quickie Mart (sans Apu).
I didn’t buy anything myself, although some things were slightly … interesting (don’t worry, Fierra my little love, I still have all the toys we had in Greece).
I have to hand it to Pepper - it’s pretty intimidating to walk into a store like that and put your selections on the counter. The most embarassing thing, IMO, is when the cashier took out the vibrator to “test it”, put a battery in it, and turned it on, waved it around a bit, then held it out to Pepper for her approval (she approved). :eek:
Anyhow, she did a good job. Soon, she’ll be an old pro at hanging out in sex shops, buying hard-core pornography, and she’ll probably get one of those frequent buyer cards too.
Now THAT is what I call a good friend.
Unfortunately, most of the people I’ve encountered this past week need the giant ass-pole removed before they can truly …ahem…enjoy a butt plug. 
But that’s still the funniest thing I’ve read today and I hope someone steals it for a sig.
Congratulations on your wedding, PLG. And hi, Una! Hope you both are well.
This thread just cracked me up. I wish I could have been there to see Pepper and Una roaming the sex toy displays and deciding which toys would be the most fun. My favorite part was the cashier waving the vibrator. Priceless! Pepper, your sure to have a great time on your honeymoon. Now if only they had sold the blow-up Paul McCartney dolls…
Tell her to say hi to Serlinel when she does.
Any chance you want to visit Anniz before our nuptials? 
Damn, I missed a trip to the porn store with Una and pepperlandgirl! Sorry I couldn’t make it up north (um, you are north of me, right?) to meet you both…
I hope you girls are having a blast together, and pepper, all my best to you on your wedding day.
Ah, you got off easy (so to speak). Ever see the Woody Allen film “Bananas”? Well I had an experience very similar to a scene in that film.
Years ago, for reasons to complex to explain, I had to go buy a vibrator for a friend.
Yes, it was a friend. For real. Stop sniggering.
So into the porn shop I go, having never been to one before. I look around to see lots of other guys perusing various sections, one of which I recall was labeled “Wet”. I avoided that area carefully.
To my dismay I find that the vibrators are kept in a glass cabinet, and one much solicit help from the clerk. So the big fat smell guy comes over to help me, and I hurriedly point to the simplest looking vibrator in the case. He takes it out and says, “You’ll like this one.”
I say, “It’s for a friend.” He gives me a look that says he’s heard this line MANY times before.
As he is putting it in the bag he realizes there is no price tag on the thing. So help me, he holds it up and yells out across the entire store to the guy in the back, "HEY ERNIE!!! HOW MUCH FOR THIS… looks at package… PINK SPERMINATOR?!"
After delivering it to my friend, I told her it had better last, because I wasn’t going in there again.
Thank you! Come again!
I wondered why my luggage was lighter on the way home!
HAHAHAHAHA! Best laugh of the day!
Fran
Have a great wedding and even a greater weddingnight,
the 2 of you.
Otherwise you can take me to a “toy-store”,
I’m sure they have those in the DC-area.