Back off!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

There are several people I work with who feel the need to position themselves three inches from my face when they talk. One of them came up behind me the other day and nearly rested her chin on my shoulder while she talked. I felt rude as hell not turning to acknowledge her, but if I had, my nose would have brushed her cheek. One of the other ladies who does this is sick all the time. Is she trying to kill me?

My breath probably stinks, but it’s offered no protection. I’m sure if I grabbed one of these raddled old bats and stuck my tongue down her throat, that’d fix the problem, but then I wouldn’t be working here anymore. Perhaps if I get a really dramatic breast augmentation, they might fall back a step?

2

Ah, the dreaded Close Talker. I hate that too.

3

Ugh. I used to have a supervisor who was a “close talker” – I finally just told him one day “look, Mike, you are invading my personal space and it makes me feel uncomfortable” it worked. Whenever he would close talk, I would simply back up a step and say “close talking” or “personal space” and he would back off – with everyone so scared of sexual harassment suits nowdays, it’s easy enough to just say something about feeling uncomfortable and be done with it.

4

Good Lord. Is she the duchess and are you Alice?

" 'Tis so,' said the Duchess: and the moral of that is–“Oh,
'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!”’

Somebody said,' Alice whispered, that it’s done by everybody
minding their own business!’

Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, and the moral of THAT is–“Take care of the sense, and the
sounds will take care of themselves.”’

`How fond she is of finding morals in things!’ Alice thought to
herself."

5

I wish!

6

Tell them they’ve invaded your personal space and if they don’t back off you’ll be forced to take preventative measures to secure said space. Or hiss

7

My first week of work another woman came up behind me (while I was sitting at a computer) and started playing with my hair.

Maybe some women do that girly stuff but I am NOT one of them. I do back up when they get too close.

8

I used to have a (female) boss like that. I was young and hungover most mornings. It was all I could do to not breath out for 2 minutes. Good times…

9

Clearly this is an unacceptable solution.

If you back up, do they follow?

Do what Litoris did. Or if they have a sense of humor, you can get the point across in a joking way. Like lean waaaay back and act as if that’s your normal posture. Or back up while very visibly measuring the distance with your hands or holding out your hand to indicate that she should stay put. Or say “I can hear just fine from waaaay over here.”

10

Develop a good farting habit.

11

Oh, I’m way ahead of you there! :slight_smile:

12

I was trying to compose a response but I was distracted by my nose bumping the monitor.
:smiley:

13

Yeah, they follow. But if you say no augmentation, then that’s out. Maybe some very long sharp pencils tucked behind my ears?

14

I recommend lunches heavy on the garlic.

15

It’s often an attempt to intmidate, like the salespeople who believe that touching you will help the sale, or standing so the light shines in your eyes. People hear, or read, these things and buy into it. LBJ used the invasion of personal space, to the point where he would actually step on the other persons shoes, so they couldn’t back away.
Any of these have a negative effect on me and I won’t hesitate to call someone on it.

16

I find it almost comforting that they might have a “reason” for it. It’s just bewildering to think they would be too oblivious to notice me perpetually leaning backward with a look of alarm on my face.

Cough!

17

Pencils work. And hey, if you want temporary augmentation, pencils work for that, too. You’ll look like Madonna.

I did a quick Google search on “dung beetle’s moron cow-orkers”, and got this. I wish I’d read it before my date with a low talker the other day.

18

Now that sounds good! I know it’s sensible to just approach people directly about these problems, but I can’t see it working on these particular ladies without hurt feelings.

19

Are they nearsighted and don’t want to wear glasses? I am nearsighted and find myself getting much closer to people to talk when I’m not wearing mine, probably because I’m trying to get close enough to be able to see them.

20

I understand it’s sometimes difficult to set boundaries with someone who is really pretty nice.

I just had a meeting with someone who is not a close talker, but a close monitor watcher. She must need glasses. Whenever I showed her something on my computer, she leaned WAY in for a closer look. Her face was about two inches from mine, and I couldn’t get to my mouse without copping a feel. She’s as nice as can be so it seemed inappropriate to say “Hey, back off, Slutty McSlut.” I just had to do the lean, and gave her an odd look until she backed off enough so that could grab my mouse without initiating a harassment complaint.