I have a fairly useless life. Aside from trying to stay alive.
(I do have grandkids and pets who need me)
It’s getting incredibly hard. Dialysis is difficult. Painful sometimes. I’m having insulin pump issues that may turn into just not tolerating insulin well. My head ain’t acting right.
What’s a body to do?
I know.
I’ll plan a trip. (Or go on a 3 year cruise?) Take up new hobbies. Get a job.
Adopt a new dog. A dog with issues.
Eat a whole chocolate cake. Get drunk.
Nah. I’ll watch cooking shows all day. As usual.
I think I’m happy like this.
What is wrong with me?
If you’re happy like that, then nothing’s wrong with you.
There are physical things wrong with you, of course. Happens to all of us sooner or later, in one form or another. You got a bad luck of the draw, in some ways.
But you in no way need to feel even one bad for not being able to do very much more than staying alive, and loving your creatures, human and otherwise.
Sweetie, be happy like that. Your body and mind need you to rest so they can fight their wars.
Both my mind and my body were exhausted due to injuries sustained during Covid. When I was laid off, I was needing 10 hours of sleep every night. A year later, most nights I’m done with sleep around 7-9 hours, unless I’ve overextended my back and heart again. Yes, I still have the mental health issues, my back is still not strong, and I have huge money issues, but the physical pain and exhaustion is much better than it was. And, I’m getting better.
Your family (animals included) need you to love them and tell them stories, family history warts and maybe a few exaggerations too, because that makes it fun. So do that, watch cooking shows, and be happy. Productivity isn’t everything, even though some idiots think it is. Helping each other is the important thing and by being available to your family, you are helping them.
Friends of mine do this. They adopt a Weimaraner with issues from a Weimaraner Rescue (what do the call a Weimaraner with issues? A Weimaraner). They then do intense training for 3-6 months on average. They are a CrossFit couple, so they each run the dog 5-10 miles every day, keeping the dog worn out and gradually getting the dog off of whatever psychotropic drugs it is on. . Once they get the dog over its issues, they place the dog in a forever home. Rinse/repeat.
Who says your life is useless? Someone has to watch the cooking shows!
Seriously, I’ve been going through the same kind of thought process since I retired in July, and I’ve come to two conclusions:
A) at some point in your life, assuming you live long enough, health issues become your full-time occupation
B) it’s actually okay not to be “useful” in any way except to yourself!
