Bad, bad, bad Beck forgot these things about being home amongst the family with no moral compunction about disrespecting your privacy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

  1. Crowded bathrooms. There are 4 bathrooms and 500 empty acres around here. Come on, folks

  2. Cats don’t care how sick you might have been.
    You’re alive and ambulatory now, aren’t you?

  3. 4th grade spelling lists have 20 boring words.

  4. Boys make noise and indescribable smells.

  5. Mid-daughters menus are getting confusing. Tasty but confusing.

  6. Dogs need to pee and poop a lot. Can’t we all do this at the same time?

  7. Everyone needs scheduling help.

  8. Refrigerators don’t clean themselves people. Or toilets.

  9. Questions. Just hundreds of questions!

  10. Company coming over. (Where’s my masks?).

(Ivy, please don’t forget the address to the rehab center)

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Sadly, we can’t help with most of that.

The trick is to put them into 20 rude or wacky sentences.

3

I cannot help but think that these two points may reflect correlation, if not causation.

4

Hey, you’re out!

5

No, that can’t be what they do!

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Yes. I’m here at the homestead

7

This is something you forgot? Even with cats at Rehab to remind you? Speaking of which, how are all the cats?

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Yay!!

(Extra ! added at the insistence of Discourse, but fitting in this case anyway.)

9

Maybe you should hang a sign outdoors:
“500 Acre Men’s Room and Bigfoot Fighters Training Center.”

I’ve been dog-sitting a very stubborn poodle and would be happy if dogs just went on command. If they can learn “Sit!” they can surely learn…well, you get the picture.

I hope Ivy is running interference re: masking and company.

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The cats are great. I see them on the way to dialysis, 3 days a week.

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They sort of can. When they’re young and if they’re mostly indoor dogs, if you follow them out and give a command whenever they perform, they will pick up the association. I did that by accident with my last dog. If I’d known it was possible, I’d have used a different command. “Potty-potty” lacked gravitas once she was grown.

And it worked best if I went out with her.

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I use a happy “Go Potty!”
Works on everyone but the Chihuahuas.
I say to them “get done or you’re Coyote bait!”

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Ha! Much more authoritative.

I assume the Chihuahuas need shorter grass.

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Excellent news. Have a calm week, if possible.

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Little boys also love farts. They love to make them, accuse others of making them, plus making fart noises with their hands pressed against their faces. When they get bigger, they learn to make fart noises with their armpits.

Home is the place to be!

~VOW

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Youngest grandson can fart whole songs.
If he says pull my finger…RUN!!

(Jingle Bells has really thrown me)

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The boy may have a future in entertainment. :wink:

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And I worry so, for his future.

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@Beckdawrek

Worry not about the young Wrekker! For he will always have food for his belly and a place to rest his weary head at the House of Wrek!

( And if young nobleman Hamza is in residence when the GrandWrek wanders home, tired and hungry, well, lodging comes with ten mandatory lessons on “How to Clean the Bathroom,” and his very own can of Comet Cleanser and Magic Eraser sponge!)

~VOW

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Why would a refrigerator clean a toilet?