Yesterday, early AM, I woke up in a semi-coma, semi-aware, thoroughly confused state. I was alone in a pale blue room with a bright light to my left.
I lay there trying to fathom what this was. My hands were bound. I heard ticking like a clock.
I finally concluded I was dead. I just had so much time before I was ejected to heaven or hell. I swear I smelled sulpher.
No angels, no buffet of sweets I could eat(my form of heaven).
I had a sense of things going on around me, all of a sudden.
I heard the Li’l wrekker speaking. She was talking to an old man. Someone else was speaking, I heard her. It was my loud mouth sister. She said “You’re not gonna tell us anything?”
Yep, I’m dead. No doubt.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up in a hospital room, Alive, this morning.
I had a grand mal seizure fell down a flight of stairs, I’ve been told. I have bruised up, stitched up bottom lip.
I was put in a medically induced coma to let my brain rest.
This morning after I ate a nasty breakfast (hey, I’m starved, I’ll eat anything),
A man knocked on the door and walked right in. He gave me a basket of stuff and said it was a little gift they give out. I’m mute so I just looked at him and he left.
Get this, the gift was from a local funeral home. It was, disturbingly, a telescoping fly swatter, a fan with their logo and some deadly(?) peppermint candy.
Actually, that’s a game. Have someone put the fan at the foot of the bed and use the flyswatter like a tennis racquet to launch the peppermints at the fan.
Fast healing.
This could ONLY happen to our Beck! Really, really, REALLY!
Back when I was a working mom and my kids were in grade school, and Mr VOW was using his GI Bill, I used to BEG for a coma so I could get some rest!
The sign you need to make, actually several signs you need to make are “I’M NOT DEAD YET!” Tape them to the door, the window, the head and the foot of the bed. Then hold one under the covers for whoever marches in your room and throws back the blankets to poke you in your whatevers.
