Oh a few I’ve seen and a little off topic:
No Jesus, No Peace
Know Jesus, Know Peace
and
Jesus, Save Me from your Followers !
Finally, for those who are not offended with matters of sex there is - http://www.divine-interventions.com/
I purchased a sticker that says:
What Would Ozzy Do?
I like that. A lot.
Lucky Charms
Maybe they fill those full-immersion baptismal tanks.
Print and Paste.
Here is the mother lode:
As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them.
God won’t be looking for your medals, degrees or diplomas–, He’ll be looking for your scars.
Give God what’s right–, not what’s left!
Trade God your pieces for His peace.
It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees.
“Will the road you’re on get you to my place?”…God
‘Pray’ is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).
Jesus built us a bridge, with 2 boards and 3 nails.
TITHE! Anyone can honk!
TODAY IS A GIFT FROM GOD. THAT’S WHY IT IS CALLED “THE PRESENT”
If you can’t be an “Onward Christian Soldier”, at least don’t pass the ammunition to the enemy.
Count your blessings! Recounts are OK—
That last one sticks in my craw something awful. There are over seven hundred more to amaze and amuse you here.
KANSAS: NO EVOLUTION FOR 1O,OOO YEARS
Alas, I was so offtrack there that I forgot to mention that I also found the “My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter” one particularly amusing. I’ve
set out to find one that says, “My Boss is a Muslim Cab Driver.”
~ARose
An Israeli friend of mine once told me something along the same line: WWJD - World Wide Jewish Domination. We got quite a laugh out of that one.
This wasn’t a bumper-sticker but it fits the general tone of this thread.
I once saw a dumpster on the side of which someone had spray-painted, “Jesus Loves You.”
Underneath, someone else had added, “Maybe so… but He never calls, He never writes…”
Hey, where can I get one of those Darwin fish for my car?
Another thing that those “in case of rapture, this car will be unmanned” stickers always made me wonder: if you’re caught up in the rapture and your suddenly unmanned and out-of-control car runs over and kills somebody, does that death count against you sin-wise?
I’ve also seen “God is coming…and is she pissed!”
OK, that’s probably not a Christian bumper sticker, but you never know.
I see that evolvefish.com now offers a blank fish with feet, suggesting that you can put whatever you want in there. They’re a free-thought website, though, so I don’t think you’ll ever see them sell a Jesus fish, feet or no.
Someone way back there said “Romania for Christ or Bust!” What does this mean?
I saw a bumper sticker that said “Your Mother was Pro-Life.”
I was annoyed at the time, thinking that the sticker was anti-choice, and basically equated pro-choice with anti-child. Besides, my mom is pro-choice.
I told Mrs. Sengkelat about it, and she thought it was funny, because she interpreted it as directed at pro-lifers, as if to say “The only way someone would have had someone like you as a child is if they were pro-life and couldn’t get rid of you.”
I think it’s a pro-life slogan, given that the sticker had a little picture of a fetus on it, but since then I really haven’t been sure.
Say Your Prayers Before They Are Said For You
which I take to mean as “Go To [insert place of religion] Before You Die”.
If I still had a car, I’d get a bumper sticker that says:
Honk if you are Jesus
A button I own: “Nuke a gay whale for christ.”
I’ve seen some messages on church signs.
Like, ch__ch whats missing? u r.
Others also not memorable enough to remember.
I like to find really nice cars with these stickers and follow’em. That way if they get raptured I’ll get a really cool car for free.
b.
HEY!
hehehe (see sig)
I saw one that was a perfect parody of the “Abortion stops a beating heart” stickers the other day. It had an ekg ( or eeg? Whichever monitors brain waves) going to flatline with the phrase “Religion stops a thinking mind”. It would make a perfect companion to my “Freedom From Religion” bumper sticker.
There’s a gun shop on Harford Road called “Christian Soldier” with a big hanging ICTHUS fish outside.
It was a shirt, not a bumper sticker, but I found it massively offensive, because I think fundies would be amused, but I was not. Still, I never did confront the guy about it, and now that he’s graduated I probably won’t be seeing it any more. My guess was he got it from some sort of a mission trip, because he said he’d been on several in Europe. This IS the Bible Belt, and I know lots of people that have been on mission trips. sigh
I just hope the trip was a bust, at least as far as converting people. I don’t object to any of the good things I can think of that they might have been doing, but I hate their basic motive. Oh well.
Did I mention earlier in this thread the scariest sticker I ever say – “Truth, Not Tolerance?” I think I did, but I’m saying it again, because it really gives me the creeps.
One of my regrets is that when I was in high school I neglected to purchase, from the back of Rolling Stone, a set of round stickers depicting screws, for the appropriate editorial comment on the I [heart] Jesus/My Dalmation/My Seneca Valley High School Honor Student/etc.
Now, my most annoying Fundy Message Crap experience came in a Chick-Fil-A, which attracts them in hordes. (Chick-Fil-A is a Southern fast-food chain that in the North would have been called Chick Filet, since up here we can both read and pronounce. Its owner is enough of a raving fundy to close the entire chain on Sundays in deference to the Sabbath. )
One of these things opened near my parents’ house in Maryland, so one Saturday my father and I decided to give it a whirl. I knew something was amiss when I noticed the T-shirt of the guy in front of me, who had two small children in tow: Jesus Died For Your Sins (okay, that’s not surprising here), with a huge illustration of Christ on the cross, blood gushing out of his hands and feet. In rivers.
May his children join an ashram.