I just went out into the parking lot for a quick break, and I saw a van with some bumper stickers praising Jesus. Okay, not “some” bumper stickers…20.
Twenty fucking bumper stickers, all stating essentially the same thing.
<deep breath>
Now, I understand. You love Jesus. Jesus loves you. Everyone else is wrong. You have every right to believe these things, no matter how superstitious or single-minded I may think you are.
But still, 20 bumper stickers! Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a little?
I mean, relax…take a moment and think about it. Stating your beliefs is fine. Stating them over and over and over again is a little over the top, hmmm?
What is this, anyway? Lorne Michaels does the PTL Club? C’mon, show a little restraint!
You’ve said it once; you’ve said it twice for the slow people. you don’t need to make your car look like a born-again shelf paper experiment, for cryin’ out loud! Enough already! Have a little taste, please!
See, when he only had 18 or 19 bumper stickers on, Jesus started sulking. “You don’t really love me at all, do you? That guy down the block has 28 bumper stickers and a fish decal . . . But that’s alright . . . Don’t worry about me . . . Just go on and do your errands, I’ll sit here in the dark and eat cigarette butts like a dog . . .”
[quote] Maybe the stickers are holding the car together…
Naah. It’s a fairly new van, in good condition…to be fair, at least the bumper stickers were symmetrical, leaving an aesthetically pleasing bad taste in my mouth.
Well, who wouldn’t want to be crucified on a cross covered in duckies and bunnies?
Damn coding. Mods? little help please? Apparently, I’m too riled about this to preview.
Naah. It’s a fairly new van, in good condition…to be fair, at least the bumper stickers were symmetrical, leaving an aesthetically pleasing bad taste in my mouth.
Well, who wouldn’t want to be crucified on a cross covered in duckies and bunnies?
This reminds me of the last family reunion I attended. When I left the house to walk back to our truck, I discovered that three other trucks of the same make, model, and color as ours had decided to park alongside us. It was very easy to tell ours apart from the rest though–our truck was the one that didn’t have a fish on the back door.
Kinda makes sense though… you’ll often see a sticker proclaiming “I survived the Hairy Noodle rollercoaster at So-And-So Park” on one side and a “Thank you Jesus” on the other.
They fit like cheese and wine baby, cheese and wine.
