This is a bit off topic, but this reminds me of the phone call I once received that had the caller ID “Illegal Scam”. I didn’t answer.
Yeah, I totally believe you’re XFINITY, ya turkey.
Really, “clicking Here” would have sent me to a site based in Istanbul.
So your spammers are the ones who stole the punctuation from the one I received:
“Attract Men With Larger Breasts”
There are Barristers in the US. They just do regular tourist stuff (visit the Grand Canyon, go skiing, see family, etc) and then they go back home. Hang around an international airport and I’m sure you’ll run into one someday.
Men who have large breasts are so hard to attract. Who could know this amazing secret? They shall make all the monies.
My favorite was hawking a penis enlargement product that guaranteed me a “massive chinchilla.”
“Sex, Drugs & Rocken Roll”
A colleague shared this one with me a couple of weeks ago:
One of his America clients is under the belief that the administration has already changed.
I meet more baristas than barristers. 
I had one today:
Subject: Park fat she nor does play
Calling observe for who pressed raising his
Garrets use ten you the weather ferrars venture friends
Calling observe for who pressed raising his
Sigh sang nay sex high yet door game
OH boy!! Where do I enter my credit card number?!??!
The weird thing is that there was no link, no attachment, no request for a read receipt. I guess it can only have been a bot trying out my address to see if the server accepted or rejected it.
Years ago, before there was email, there were actual postal mail spam letters. With computers, they could customize the letters with your name inserted at various places.
I received professional magazines at work that were addressed to me including my job title: T. Bonham, Systems Analyst. They obviously sold their mailing list to others, and somewhere along the way it got truncated.
So I had fun getting letters like this:
One of my former bosses had a file of letters and documents containing funny gaffes (it would be circulated for entertainmment in the holiday season) - one of the letters in there must have been a mailmerge problem - it was addressed “Dear Null…”