Bad enough the one...

…but then the other.

In as many days, two kids committed suicide in my kids’ high school this week.

Details are vague. One appears to have been found OD’d in his car. Early reports say the other was a self inflicted gun shot.

My kids knew them both.

JFC/WTF. :frowning:

I’m so very, very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your kids.

I’m so sorry that this happened…

I’d be reeling right now and no matter what your relationship with your kids is - be humble, show that you’re fragile, let them know that you can’t fathom this happening to them. Then ask some important questions - Do they ever have these thoughts? Do their friends? Do they know what drives suicidal thoughts?

This stuff is some of the hardest stuff anyone can ever have a conversation about but it is probably one of the most important you will ever have with your kids.

Obviously sad for the families directly affected by these tragedies, but not reeling.

I am however fascinated by how the school is reacting and handling this. Evidently there is a crisis team in place at the school. Bunch of adults with notebooks at the ready, talking to kids and documenting their responses. Probably the usual way these situations are handled this day and age. My kids’ take is that it’s causing crowd sourced hysteria in a population already given to drama. Classes are being held but not much in the way of academics is being accomplished. How can it, under the circumstances?

I’ve never had any trouble communicating with my kids, but I never thought I’d have to have this fucking conversation with them.

omg omg omg…that is TERRIBLE!!!

I hope the kids in the school find peace, including yours. Talk about* tragedy*…

Worse than the crowd-sourced hysteria is the possibility of copycat suicides. Talk to your kids about the warning signs, and tell them to take any mention or threat of it seriously.

The first school I taught at suffered two student deaths - one was an accident overdose, the other a suicide. Both took place during the summer, a year apart, but it was a very small community, and all the kids knew one another. My town’s community really rose to the occasion, making sure counselors were available, but not bombarding the kids with dramatics regarding the deaths.

We had a very large suicide cluster when my kids were in high school. One after the other after another (9 total) and the school response was similar. I’m glad your school is handling it so well. My only advice is don’t freak out if some gallows humor creeps into the conversations or if the kids seem unfazed by it at times. It’s a hard thing to handle and everyone does it differently. One thing I liked was that their school talked to kids about how to recognize the signs in their friends and encouraged them to tell someone, I’m guessing that advice saved a few lives. Hang in there.

I’d just like to add that you don’t wait for the first suicide to happen (too late for the OP). If you pay attention to your kid you may notice depression - the classic question is “is he/she just being a teenager” or "is he/she really at risk of hurting him/herself.

This is a situation that needs to be dealt with sensitively but straight on. Adopting a blinder mentality may be the worst thing you could do.

Back when I was a teen, my high school also experienced a cluster of suicides. Unfortunately, once there has been one suicide, that makes it easier for others who have been thinking about suicide to go through with it.

**I definitely think it is a good idea for you to talk honestly with your kids and any of their friends you have contact with about if they are personally having any suicidal feelings. ** Not everyone who is suicidal gives the classic warning signs, or sometimes the warning signs can be too subtle to even pick up on until after it’s too late, so I think it is very important to just be open about it and try your best to let them know it’s okay to talk to you about it.