I got a rather bad case of foot in mouth disease today.
In my defence, I still reckon it’s a damned ugly car.
I first noticed the car a few weeks ago in the carpark behind my office. It’s a pretty snazzy late model 4WD Rover, black and sleek and obviously unused to getting any further offroad than the carpark at one of the local private grammar schools. Worth around $50k (AUD) so not the most expensive on the road, but certainly not a pile of junk either.
But the car is emblazoned with the Playboy Bunny logo…a big one on the bonnet, car seats, dangly thing hanging off the rear-view mirror etc. A really tacky, really ugly car that just reeks of a Paris Hiltonesque superficiality.
Now in my defence again, I assumed that the car was owned by one of the Pretty Things who hang out at the gym upstairs. Y’know, those dainty little bronzed, blonde tarts with bodies that are already toned to within a millimetre of anorexic? The types that have rich hubbie or parents so that they don’t need to work and can play at the gym all day? The types that drive expensive 4WD’s (that husband’s company or daddy paid for) with the fucken Playboy bunny all over it?
So, anyway, at smoko tonight, the car was there again. I was having a (rather loud) chuckle with another workmate along the lines of, “Isn’t that an absolutely revolting car? Who in their right mind, I betcha it’s a dumb blonde, how shallow would you have to be, etc etc”.
I shouldn’t have done that.
Standing next to the car, on her mobile, having a smoke was another coworker. In my defence, the coworker is a dyke, the type of chick that drives a ute or a beaten up Beetle or Kombi…not a flash 4WD with Playboy bunnies all over it. How was I to know it was her car???
I learned some valuable lessons tonight:
never make assumptions about one’s vehicular choice based upon their sexual, social or economic status/identity. Stereotyping might work some of the time, but when it doesn’t, you end up looking like the idiot you really are.
don’t even bother to try to weasel out of such a faux pas with apologies and faux-earnest questions about fuel efficiency and offroad capabilities.
You’ve done the damage, just wear it.
in future, when hanging-shit on someone’s car, make sure they are not within earshot.