My name is Mark and I’m a friend of Ron - who you all know as BratMan007. I work with Ron and his brother-in-law Jim. In fact we were both groomsmen when Jim married Ron’s sister so I’ve known him even since before he started working here. Quite often Ron would laugh at work then lean over to me and tell me that I got to read somethin something that was on this message board and he often told me to register instead of suggesting things for him to write about and reading over his shoulder.
Sadly this has to be my first post. I know he thought highly of many people here and looked forward to spending time here during long slow boring days at work. He would refer to some of the people here as his firends and I thought his friends may want to know what happened. I don’t have all the dtails yet. Jim is still on vacation with the new baby but he says he’ll call with updates when he can.
From what I’ve heard so far Ron was in a terrible accident last night. This is doubly hard on Ron and his family because about 5 years or so ago Ron was in an accident that nearly cost him one of his legs and it took him over 6 months to recover. Ron’s girlfriends at the time died in that accident and that’s something Ron still feels guilty about today.
From reports it seems a drunk driver side swiped Ron’s car causing Ron to flip over the median. The roof of his car was crushed and Ron has serious head and neck injuries and a dislocated shoulder. He is slipping in and out of consciousness. Jim says at one point Ron called out for Vicky - the girlfriend that died in the previous car wreck - so even if Ron survives the physical trauma his family is concerned about any psychological problems that may happen from him reliving his past.
I would like to bring a printout of encouraging words from the straight dopers to read to Ron in the hospital. Ron hates being maudlin and has said that at his funeral he wants to show Monty Python skits and movies and his favorite cartoons so he can leave everybody with a laugh. He’s also said he wants a little tape recorder in the coffin with him that will start going “Hey open the door! I’m not quite dead yet!” My point is please remain positive and upbeat cuz I want to give Ron something to smile about cuz he loves a good laugh even if it’s not in the best taste or considered appropriate.
Here’s me vibing at you for a quick and complete recovery.
{{{{BratMan007}}}}
Odz Bodkin, sorry you’ve been brought to your first post this way.
I hope you’ll keep us updated.
((((BratMan007))))
I and mine will be thinking of you and yours.
Get better soon, okay? You’ve got a lot of friends here. We’ll help in any way we can.
Love, Cristi
To Mark,
Please send my best wishes to Ron (Bratman007) and I hope his road to recovery is swift. We all miss his words of wisdom on SDMB.
Get better soon Boo-Boo.
We’ll get you a pic-a-nic basket upon your return.
Stay strong Tigress.
WE MISS YOU, well, maybe.
No, for real, get yourself better. You have tons of friends here who are thinking about you and care.
Odz, great to meet you, sorry it had to be under such conditions.
I, too, want to wish BratMan007 a speedy and complete recovery.
Hoping for the best.
Jim
No… can’t be.
Hang in there BratMan because we are all sending our best and positive good thoughts. Here’s to a speedy recovery as we wait for your return to SDMB and us.
{{{{BratMan007}}}} Maybe we’ll put your name change on hold until you return? Smiles, Ms kiffa
Just watch out for the Organ Doner Collectors. Assuming Ron saw The Meaning Of Life, he knows just how greedy those bastards can be. One time, I bumped my head, and damn if there weren’t a couple of those vultures there, just waiting to pull out my spleen and kidneys.
That what you had in mind, Odz? 
Bratman: Get well soon. We need cool posters like you to keep this board going.
Odz: Welcome to the board. The fact that you posted this update (As your first post, none the less) shows that you’re a great friend.
My thoughts go out to Ron’s family and friends in this time of crisis.
BratMan
May you always be free to pursue your own happiness in your own way!
From two admirers of your strength,
Lib and Edlyn
Sealemon88, that’s exactly what I had in mind. Ron has a somewhat twisted and occasionally very black sense of humor. One of the funniest things he says he’s ever seen was John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman - “The freeloading bastard I hope he fries” If I can find it anywhere I’ll post it here. He showed it to me from a book about Monty Python he has - he just loves those guys - and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen too.
Shit! More bad news from SDMB.
My prayers are with you BratMan. Hang in there, because we want you to come back and tell us some good hospital stories (ala Wally).
And if you want a laugh: a workmate and I went to visit a colleague recovering in hospital following an operation. As we walked in the door, my off-sider said “Well, I’ve never seen a drip in a drip before!”
Ron’s family was finally allowed in his room to see him. He is heavily medicated - I’m sure he’s enjoying that - and sleeping soundly. He is reported to be in stable condition with a full recovery expected although they are not sure about how the head trauma will affect him. He has his head shaved so they could stitch him up and some more stitches on his face and shoulders where shattered glass got him pretty good. He is wearing his left arm in a sling for the dislocated shoulder and a neck brace but doctors say the neck damage didn’t seem that serious - no damaged vertabrae or disks and no damage to his spine or spinal cord - and that right now the brace is just a precaution. The main concern is the head trauma but from all accounts he is going to pull through.
That is good, that he is recovering. This really upset me when I read that he had been hurt. I know you wanted to keep this light, but I have to say this. 007 was the first to welcome me to the SD and has always been very supportive. He is one of my favorites here and I want him to know that.
Look forward to more lapdances… but I had better get more than a dollar!! (I am at least worth a buck fifty;) )
Hey Boo-Boo. get back here when you can.
Osip
(((Bratman)))
We all wish you a speedy recovery. I’ve really liked your posts, and we want you back here ASAP.
I’ve known Ron for a while through Jim, my co-worker and Ron’s brother-in-law before Ron started working here. Just know he does not like people feeling sorry for him and always finds something to laugh about even in the darkest of times. In January of 1999 he broke up with his fiance, lost his job and lost his apartment. Here’s what he had to say about it.
About his fiance leaving him for another man - “I was having way too much sex anyway. This will give me a chance to fine tune my masturbation techniques.” and “Instead of throwing my money away on that uncaring bitch I can spend it on things that are really important to me - strippers and beer.”
About losing his job with an electrical contractor - “Maybe now I’ll finally have the spare time to beat Final Fantasy VII on the Playstation. It was getting to be a real pain in the ass trying to carry that thing and a portable TV around on a ladder with me.”
About losing his apartment - “I haven’t lost it. I know where it is. I just can’t get in there anymore since they’ve changed the locks on me.”
Since I’ve known him he’s always looked on the bright side of things and been able to laugh at any situation thrown at him. Any sign of sympathy or pity he brushes aside with a self-depricating joke. I’m sure when he gets back you’ll hear all sort of stuff about his shaved head and hospital experiences.
aww man hugs BratMan007 You get better! Then I can play my violin for you and recite to you my latest poetry! grins
Hey BratMan! I can see an upside to all this - think of it as the Demerol vacation. I know, not necessarily one of those “wish you were here” vacations, but still…
And you might get somw new wheels out of the deal.
I look forward to hearing from you, pal, here’s my wishes for a speedy mend.
Here’s a little side note to what was said earlier - in case anyone was wondering - the paramedics and police that arrived on the scene say that had Ron not been wearing his seat belt he’d more than likely be dead now. Also the airbag apparently softened his blow when he hit the median and stopped some glass from the windshield going into his face. I guess those things really do work.