G’day ron/brat/boo boo/bigfoot,
Mate get up out of that bed. Really - I mean it. Don’t be lazy. Get up. Get up or…
I’LL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!!!
But seriously (why not try serious?), mate I hope you’re back on your feet and the boards quickly. We’re all thinking of you and missing you.
and rememeber, above all else, YOU da bratman!!
So sorry to hear the news Bratman – hope a full recovery will ensue. Can’t offer you much but if this is getting printed off for you I’ve included a selection of some of the weekend’s more popular thread title’s. You might notice that in your absence, the general tone has Improved:
bodily functions that you wish you could get rid of permanently
Guys: Your penis, peeing, and your handedness
Should I be shot?
The Vagina thread. For women only!
I didn’t wear pants at work today
3 nipples= a bad thing? A question for the ladies.
Hey, what’s that smell?
The Penis Thread. For guys only.
I’ve been attacked by demons.
Why aren’t people buried standing up?
Hasn’t been a thread with “anal sex” in the thread title for days !!. Good luck - not with the anal thing, I mean hospital.
Fingers crossed
I’m starting to think this board is cursed.
Hmmm… That would explain my love life (or rather, lack thereof)
Get better Brat - only you could wear that jacket!
also REMEMBER that my typing is getting worse…
Ironic, since just yesterday I saw a sign in my favorite liquor store:
Never have I been so thankful for my own 13D clodhoppers.
I’m glad to hear that Bratman is doing better…
Because he’s got a line of newbies ready to give him his get-well lap dances.
Hurry back!
I bet you have a catheter dont you? EWW GOD MAN! Whats that like?? Ack! Nevermind, I dont wanna know.
I bet a GUY put it in though.
Fag.
Bratman, know that while you recover from your untimely accident,[/Andy Rooney] Is there any good time for an accident? [/Andy Rooney] I shall smite Denise Richards openly in your stead for single handedly ruining *The World Is Not Enough *.
I hope you have nurses that make Baywatch life guards look like dogs and the food cooked by French chef’s.
I’m not saying this because you are in the hospital, but you are one of my favorite posters. Second on my list is Bo Duke and then Andy Gibb 
Here’s to a speedy recovery!
Oh my God in heaven!!! I’m laughing so hard that my co-workers are asking me if I’m alright!!!
fag…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, dammit, Brat, the electrocution/litterbox thing wasn’t enough for you? You had to go and let this happen? You’ll do anything to impress a cute nurse, won’t you. Hurry the hell up and get back here. I can’t stand anymore trauma/tragedy/really bad things right now!
P.S. Stand tough, Tigress, he’ll really need you through the recovery stuff.
I leave the boards for a weekend and this happens? Oh lordy, BooBoo Brat_sheep…
Hang in there man, I’m sure the stitches will add character to that scalp of yours! 
-Sam
(1) Get well* soon.
(2) Get a lawyer–a mean one.
(3) Don’t do that no more.
*“Well” means in a physical sense. In a legal sense, remember that pain and suffering are recoverable–see #2.
Duuude, how could you leave me? You’re entirely too cool to take a break from the board. Ohh…car accident…? Well, then, fine, be that way!
Seriously, man, I have nothing creative or memorable to say. Seems to be my lot in life on this board (it’s what I get for coming here tired). May your healing go quickly, and hey, I’ll send you some funny downloads–your pick of Simpson .wavs, as well as the Flaming Bag of Poo! game.
Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way…
Well, I, for one, am insulted. BratMan asked his doctors three whole questions and not one was about how he could go about getting an internet connection in his room! I mean, does he just not care about us at all? How self-involved can you be? Really!
P.S. Hang in there, BratMan! Since the flirty electrocution trick didn’t work for you maybe this will! I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way!
Hey Brat! Yeah, you! Remember me? I recommended you so highly to all the Female Newbies. Need a tongue bath?
Get better, I’ve been missing biting wit in my life lately and yours is among the very best. BTW, can you still lick your eyebrow? 
Bratman— Get yourself better dude!
Screeme
{{{{{BratMan007}}}}}
Quote "Ron’s questions to the doctor were “How long will I have to be here?” “Does the TV have cable cuz I want to watch the Cards play”.
I’m happy to see a man keep his priorities straight in such dire circumstances. God will surely smile upon you. Go Cards!
Odz, what a good friend you have been to BratMan. Tell him that all our prayers, good thoughts and positive vibes are with him. Thanks for printing out this thread - as a Straight Doper of course he will want to read it! Well - that, and ask about baseball!
He was not in an accident. July 9th he came over right after work. Which he gets here around 4:30 pm. We left around five. We got back to my place around 10. He didn’t have a scratch on his whole body. His RED neon was in the same condition it has been. He even called me when he got home at aroung 11. Unless he has been going out after he says he is going to bed, he is okay. I will call him in a little while and make sure what I’m saying is true. And God I hope that he is at home and safe. I love that man so much I couldn’t go on living without him.
'scuse me?