Bad Santa (2003)

Cafe Society
1

I don’t know about you, but I love this movie. I love it more than I love A Christmas Story. I love it more than I love Christmas Vacation or Die Hard. Someday I’ll get tired of those movies. This one will forever remain fresh.

Apparently Brett Kelly, who played Thurman Merman (and was 8 years old at the time) has had a nice little career, but as far as I’m concerned this is his masterpiece. He was brilliant. He deserved an award just for the checkers “Wanna play again?” scene.

Shit happens when you party naked.

Should I fix you some sandwiches?

Christmas time we get the shit, because we are men, and Lois.

Marcus: Willie, this has been a long time coming. Every year, you’re worse. Every year, you’re less reliable. More booze, more bullshit, more buttfuckin’.
Willie: Sure, the “three B’s”

You ain’t gonna shit right for a week!

2

“Well, they can’t all be winners, kid”

3

“I’ve never Fornicated anybody!”

4

It’s one of my favorite Christmas traditions, watching it with a bottle of Old Grandad.

“I can’t help it, the guy makes me uneasy.”
“Well sure, Santa fucking someone in the ass.”

5

It’s actually kind of a touching movie.
But the belly laughs will hurt, in the end(oof, I didn’t say that)

Bad Santa 2 is not on the mark. There are a few good lines in there. But it’s mostly disappointing.

I would have never watched the first one without encouragement. It’s not my usual movie choice type. I was surprised how fun it was.

I will never, ever, for the whole of my life watch “A Christmas Story” again.
My kids loved it. We had to watch it so much when they were young it sickens me to even see that kids face.

6

Bayliss is such a bad bad bad influence!

7

“Haaaalf.”

8

“How’d you get sick?”

“I loved a woman that wasn’t clean.”

“Mrs. Santa?”

“No, it was her sister.”

9

One of my few Christmas traditions: get hammered watching this movie.

My favorite scene, though, is - to me - quite touching (not in the “back off, Santa!” sort of touching way) and somehow best of all, there’s zero dialogue.

It’s just a bedraggled Santa, dragging himself down the sidewalk, but damn if he isn’t gonna light those @#$! candelabras. Slowly shuffling along with his lighter …

… and accidentally sets one on fire, and has to wearily stomp it out.

You can’t hear any cursing, yet somehow, it’s definitely there.

10

Chipeska: “Oh, no, this is not a handicapped thing! I have nothing against you people!”

Willie (mock outrage): “You people? Didya hear that Marcus? He said ‘you people’”

Marcus: “Who the hell is us people?”

Also love Willie’s utterly contemptuous “you’re pathetic” as he takes a candy cane at the end of that scene.

11

John Ritter is also brilliant in this. His facial expressions during this scene never fail to make me laugh my ass off.

12

Since we’re all being so brave and honest I’ll also admit to loving this movie. And me too regarding John Ritter’s performance.

13

I agree. I like the movie, though perhaps not as much as some in the thread do. It’s got a real humanity. And the jokes pretty much all land. (The kid is great, as some have said.)

I always wonder if the makers were inspired by Dan Ackroyd’s “eating his Santa beard along with the smoked salmon he stole” scene in Trading Places.

14

It’s so sad now watching those John Ritter & Bernie Mac scenes knowing they’ve both gone to that great mall security office in the sky.

15

“I’m on my f*cking lunch break, ok?!”

16

Love the movie!
Normal fingers, not the fat…sausage fingers.
Are you off your meds? Yes, but that is not what this is about.
Oh Granny.

17

Also love the very subtle running gag that Bernie Mac’s character is suffering from constipation.

18

I always found something mildly disturbing about the way Bernie Mac is eating that orange in that first scene with him and Ritter.

19

It’s my favorite Christmas movie. Actually, its the only Christmas movie I like.

20

So, I have never seen this movie.

I suppose I oughta correct that.