Bad Underwear Day

You guys know what I’m talking about…
Lil Elvis tells you he’s cold. Wtf?
Damn, you put on one of the old pair with the stretched-out leg holes. If those shorts are really bad or you get into certain positions, all the boys start complaining. So it’s tuck tuck tuck all day long, right? I hate it when that happens.

Now, I’m not talking about old briefs with holes in them, (aside from the ones you stick your body through) I’m talking about perfectly serviceable knickers with a few good miles left on them. That waist band always holds up… why is it the leg holes that always give out?

How long have they been making these things, anyway. Is there something about elastic that prevents them from formulating something that lasts at least as long as the cloth? And while I’m on the subject, does anyone ever use that stupid “flap-hole” arrangement in the front? What’s that all about?

(You boxer guys shaddap).

Now are you talking about the jockey-style briefs (with a trap door), or the bikini-style briefs (without a trap door)? I have worn the latter for years, and I’ve never had the leg holes stretch out. The waist always seems to be the one that gets all loose, so your underware starts slipping down below your waist while you still have your pants on. It’s a little embarrassing trying to dig down your pants to pull your shorts up while you’re walking down the street, or, even worse, giving that lecture on Financial Stability In The Legal World to 300 corporate attorneys (but, of course, I would know NOTHING about that).

Two things:

1> Real men don’t throw away underwear. Ever.

2> No real man wears bikini underwear. Ever.

That being said, don’t skimp on underwear. Pay top dollar. Hanes or FOTL. You can get away with an off-the-rack suit and a cheap tie, but top of the line underwear pays for itself. So to speak.

Hey, men - I’m talking top-of-the-line here, J.C. Penney (don’t laugh!). Hanes? FOTL? You can read your newspaper through those flimsies. Why can’t they make elastic that lasts?

(Anyone who would wear bikini underwear would probably think people like to see them in a Speedo, too. Case closed.)

Alex, I’ll take “Things I Didn’t Want to Know About the Moderators” for $200, please.

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

Be sure to state your response in the form of a question.

According to the Pope, a woman can be a saint, but not a priest.

No, you throw them out when there’s a hole or a rip. And you have to learn to arrange the equipment through your pockets, even if you get lil Elvis cold.Does not work with jeans.

If it’s any consolation, this happens to women’s underwear too. My leg holes get stretched out before the waist, then the damn things ride up into you-know-where. Can’t stand that - I toss 'em.
(BTW, shouldn’t the moderator move this topic to MPSIMS?)

Ha! I tried to tell you not to wear them on your head and pull on the leg holes so you could tie them under your chin, but would you listen?

Real men do so wear bikini underwear. My husband is a real man. He says that they provide him with better support. He has to do a lot of heavy lifting. But he’s also man enough to know that he shouldn’t just be strutting around in them, because no, they don’t look all that great. And he’d rather wear black socks with sandals than be seen in public in a Speedo.

That said, he’s also manly enough to never, ever throw underwear away. I do not understand this. I suggested throwing some of his worn-to-near-invisibility underwear out once. Once. I guess if it comes down to me or the ragged-out underwear, I know where I stand.

Regarding the “trap door” in briefs… my son just moved up to “big boy pants” and was really impressed with the “pocket” in the front. He walked around for several days looking like a somewhat perverted Napoleon.

But it is over the top or thru the leg for any real man.

If you were a spoiled like my husband, you wouldn’t even know what worn underwear were- I weed out all the worn undies and holy socks and replace them. He thinks I just get the best quality ever, and he’s been wearing the same 7 pair for 6 years now :slight_smile:

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips (stolen from matt’s webpage)

Holy Socks, Batgirl! You sure those socks aren’t holey?

Ray (Sock it to 'er.)

Nope you never get rid of em until the holes get so big your not sure which ones to put your legs through.

The state of men’s underwear is a subject near and dear to my heart.

I’m a brief man, but my problem is that I have big balls (unfortunately, I don’t have a penis to match, oh well…). I mean these things are the size of chicken eggs. In a regular pair of briefs, the elastic leg holes tend to cut the balls right in half (OUCH!) - usually in the middle of a big, high-profile business meeting.

I was complaining about this to my wife, and I fantasized out loud about underwear that was like a codpiece, so that your goodies were held securely in a pouch shaped specifically for them. Briefs are patterned after panties, with a flat piece of fabric in the crotch - kind of an insult when you think about it. The next day, my wife picked up a package of Jockey “Pouch” underwear! My life has been transformed!! No more surreptitious tugging at leg holes, or ducking around the corner to stick my hands down my pants!! Life is good!!

I used to wear a brand called Munsingwear that not only had a contoured pouch in front, but also had a horizontal fly that was actually useful for extricating lil elvis for the big show. (their logo was a kangaroo.)

I can’t find them in big-n-tall sizes anymore and I miss them terribly.

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef


Yer pal,

Don’t any of you guys like to new ones that are sort of like bike shorts? You know, they come down on your legs like boxers, but they’re stretchy cotton like briefs. My man wears these all the time. Keeps little Elvis warm and in place, and they’re sexy, too.

“I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

For all those with underwear problems, I’ve got two words:


Changed my whole outlook on life…

Nickrz, I’ll be mailing you a brand new pair of undies(turquoise!;D

Nobody said things would be easy,and nobody was right-George Bush.