Does Johnny Cockroach do personal injury cases! This should be worth millions! How do I sue…should I sue the bagel manufacturers (they should have pre-sliced them), or the knife maker (they should have made the damn things less sharp).
OR, did the goddam bagel bakers fail to provide the users with a clear directions on how to slice them!
If the McDonalds lawsuit succeeds, I’m filing right away!!
hmmmmmm…major klutz that I am, I have never suffered a bagel injury. The Gods of bagels, lox and cream cheese must smile upon me! 
I want, nay, need a bagel guillotine! They look so cool!
We currently have the bagel guillotines at the office…and they just smush the bagles down to a hunk of dough. We are all anxiously awaiting our new ones that have been ordered. I’m truly hoping they will arrive before Friday else how shall we cut our bagels!!! :eek:
Bagel guillotines are no good at all for bagels that have seeds and stuff on the outside, because they get scraped off as you insert the bagel. And, as skittles pointed out, they smush them. Sure, they’ll work fine for the crappy bagels you get in the freezer department at the grocery store, but, for a GOOD bagel, they’re just too darn small.