I…have been around this great big world and i’ve seen all kinds of breakfast tasties. As of late, I am venturing back to an old standby- the cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. JUST the amount of sweetness and cheesieness to make my life worth living from 8:30 to 8:50.
But is it too much to fucking ask that the bagel elves of the world use a separate bowl/mixer/pot/oven for the sweet bagels than for the savories?
I realize the times, they are a-changin’ and that there are new innovative food combos arriving at our doorsteps daily. Who would eat Wasabi Chocolate? Not me, but I guess it’s all the rage with the jet set. It is with this in mind that I bite into my bagel only to be encountered by a giant fucking piece of garlic. The Good Book tells us that if your hand offends thee, cut it off.
Well I cut that fucking bagel off, sister. It was simple survival instinct to hurl the half eaten ring across the room, step on it, throw a lit match on it and pee out the fire.
Are you trying to tell me that at your successful, busy bagel shop in downtown Chicago you can’t set aside ONE AREA to be garlic free? Do you also put chervil in your creme horns? Can I get an oregano cannoli?
I’ll be back on Monday you son of a bitch, and I’ll be ordering a raisin bagel, and so help you God, if I encounter garlic…I…I can’t even say what I’ll do.
I have to say this made me laugh out loud today. I stopped on my way in to work this morning at Panera to get some bread for this weekend’s inevitable fondue-dipping enjoyment (don’t ask – my 15 yo got a fondue set for Xmas), and thought about getting a bagel. Thought about it until I remembered the last time I got a bagel that was supposed to be a cinnamon crunch (I might actually want something that sweet once in 6 months???) but as I bit into the nice, toasted, cream cheesed bagel, it tasted of onions. Someone had apparently decided to chuck a few of the “everything” bagels into the same bin as the cinnamon crunch. Gag. Wretch. Hurl the offending waste of $3 into the trash. Oh well. Live and learn.
Wasabi chocolate sounds yummy, by the by. But then again, I am a purist and still put cayenne in the mix when I make my patented hot dark mayan chocolate for winter warmth.
The folks at the Quick Check where I get my sandwich are very tired of my asking them to wash the knife before they cut the sandwich. But the previous sandwich very likely had onions or ::the horror:: peppers on it. I don’t want to taste nasty onions and pepper on my sammich, thank you very much.
I do that at Subway. I’ve watched them cut the turkey with everything and honey mustard that I’m getting for supervenusfreak in half and then use the same knife on my ham/nothing/oil & vinegar. Ewww…I do not need honey mustard and peppers and crap on my nice little ham/nothing/oil&vinegar, dammit!
I think a bagel with big chunks of elephant garlic would be neat.
For some reason this OP reminds me of the time my mother found what she thought was liver spread/pate at a salad bar, spread it on a cracker and began eating it only to discover that what she thought was pate was actually some kind of grainy chocolate pudding. Years later, she still spoke of this incident with horror.
Hey, of course we all love a good garlic bagel, but when it’s also a cinnamon raisin bagel, garlic just isn’t invited. And don’t give me your “garlic goes with anything” pal…I’ll cut you.
You’re eating a sweet abomination like a cinnamon-raisn bagel and you presume to complain that such travesties are allowed to travel with actual, worthwhile savory bagels. If you want somewhere garlic-free, feel free to go elsewhere than a bagel shop.
I suppose, thinking about it, I agree with you that sweet bagels should not be put with savory bagels, but where I differ is that sweet bagels should not be put anywhere at all, save the trash where they belong.
