I just cut my fucking tongue whilst licking an A4-sized envelope.
A paper cut. In my TONGUE.
OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH. :mad:
[sub]And to think it’s only got 4 days to heal. I’m visiting my girlfriend next weekend.[/sub] 
Alright, back to work. I’ll use the stupid sponge thing next time. Grrrr.
I got a paper cut on my nipple once when I was rubbing a magazine perfume sample on my chest after I got out of the shower.
Freaky.
Youch! That sounds even more painful.
My tongue is throbbing. I feel like breaking out da lettah opener o’ death and stabbing someone.
All in one day:
I realized I’d been running the wrong commercial for a client all month.
I gave myself a folder cut while filing some papers.
My belt fell in the toilet while I was going to the bathroom and I peed on it.
Licking the foil lids of yoghurt pots has got me into trouble before now, I always make a point (and with envelopes too) of licking toward the edges)
Maybe your girlfriend can kiss it and make it better.
I once stapled the web of skin between my left thumb and forefinger to a document with one of those huge lever-operated staplers. After I got the bleeding stopped I had to make another copy of the stupid document, because my boss had some stupid complaint about not wanting blood all over his reading material.
It’s stuff like this that got me barred from the tool shop.
Exgineer, you crack me up. 
And OUCH!!
Mangetout, I am a yogurt-lid-licker as well. Is there a support group for us or something?
I work for a large company that has many manufacturing sites plus plenty of offices and technical facilities. The injury rates are much higher at the offices and technical facilities, mainly because people there aren’t as focused on safety as those in a manufacturing environment. Lots of turned ankles from heels, slips and falls on slick surfaces, etc. Although much less likely to get a fatality.
(Maybe that’s more serious than the OP intended ;). But using a damp sponge to seal envelopes would be much safer. )
Now LCC, about that nipple injury, the best salve is saliva…
Now you must drink lots of booze to keep it from getting infected.
I work with someone who received paper cuts to the eyes. She’s a lovely person, but to this day I can’t look at her without shivering - your eyes, for gods sake. Ick ick ick.
Happy to be of service. Of course, you now have me all hypersensitive about office safety and I’m likely to be overcautious all day. This should lead to a spectacular accident.
I’ll probably maim myself with a filing cabinet or something.
Sigh. Don’t even go there, Exgineer. Facilities was re-arranging the furniture in our quadicle about a year ago and as they tried to slide a five foot high, completely full filing cabinet behind me, they accidentally knocked it over onto me. I had a headache for about a month, though the x-rays and CT showed no serious damage.
Ever gotten one of those under your fingernail? Man, that’s making me cringe just thinking about it.
I have an affinity for tape-dispenser injuries. Stupid sharp edges! At least it’s been a while since I’ve closed an appendage in a drawer.
But only if it’s a Freedom kiss and not one of yucky old French kisses!
Pebs
I’ve never seen it myself, but the first day in a new office I was being given the tour and introduced to how the machines worked and when we came to the shredder the woman made a point of warning me about it. Apparently they had an associate once who didn’t make sure his tie was out of the way while he was destroying some documents. That could get nasty.
Ow. I’ve done that. Hurts like a sumbitch.
I believe your tongue is the second fastest thing to heal, with your eyeball being the very fastest. So you’ll be fine.
At least you don’t have a paper cut on your dick.
“girlfriend can kiss it to make it better”
“paper cut on your dick”
light bulb goes on over Coldfire’s head
Don’t do it. Trust me on this one. :eek: