Envelope licking and paper cuts

As the holiday / card sending time approaches once again I confront my old fear: receiving a gaping paper cut on my tongue from licking an envelope horizontally. As for myself, I manage to get by with a moistened sponge or, in a pinch, by licking the envelope in a series of vertical swipes. But even the sight of seeing another person licking an envelope “cross-wise” is enough to make me squirm. I’m not usually given to phobic behavior. Should I get professional help? Or is this a legitimate concern? Is there any true anecdotal evidence of emergency rooms filled with bleeding-tongued patients near the holidays?

I never lick envelopes and stamps. I moisten my fingertips in water and apply them to the gummed surfaces. I get my oral gratifications by licking more sensual objects.

Do ornaments make you cring as you image them falling and grinding into the bottom of your bare foot?

Do you eschew egg nog because it makes you think of the horros of salmonella?

Do you constantly imagine the needles of a Christmas tree piercing your eyeball?

No? No professional help needed, just one of your pet skeeves.

Why DOES paper cut??

OT: What about blades of grass?

Well, Dave, if you’re “phobic” from watching someone lick an envelope, then I must be twice as phobic, 'cause I broke out in a cold sweat just from reading your thread title.

What Gigi said. Find something else to worry about. :smiley:

Sorry to rehash this really old thread, but I had the same question…

You know, they actually make a device specifically designed to prevent this problem:

http://www.winchesterofficesupplies.com/index.html?catalog472_0.html

I just use a wet paper towel. It’s not like saliva has any magical adhesive-activating power.

I’ve suffered paper cuts to the tongue from licking envelopes and it’s not nice (although the tongue does heal very quickly).

Now I always lick the gum on envelopes with a sort of dabbing motion, making sure that my tongue is always moving towards (and off) the edge of the paper, or I use self-seal envelopes.

I’ve also cut my tongue licking torn metal foil yogurt pot lids, so I tend to scrape them with a teaspoon now.

I’ll probably gey hoo-haa’d outta here for even posting this, but a friend of mine e-mailed me a story (supposedly true) that a woman had cut her tongue licking an envelope and there were roach eggs on the glue and the roaches hatched. Doctor visit, suing, reports that envelope factories are notoriously dirty, etc.
Anyone heard this?

Yeah, and the eggs got into her bloodstream and grew inside her brain, when they hatched, her head burst open and millions of tiny hedgehogs crawled out.

(Sounds like and UL to me)

Yeah, I know, but the FW ‘looked’ real so I thought I’d ask.

Another thing, Bob, I notice you are on here a lot late (as I am), Working? West coast? Insomniac?