Do you lick envelopes?

Specifically, return envelopes that you get in the mail for bills, subscriptions, etc. rather than envelopes that you buy yourself. Do you blithely lick the provided envelope? I always do, but it occurs to me that there are very few objects that I’d receive in the mail from a relatively unknown sender and just stick it in my mouth. Haven’t we learned anything from Seinfeld? Did Susan die in vain?

I answered without reading the part about return envelopes. I haven’t encountered that situation in some time but I always licked them in the past. Ditto the occasional envelope I have to seal here at work.
Am I the only one who *doesn’t *think the adhesive tastes bad?:o

This is why they invented electronic bill payment systems.

Another person who uses electronic bill payment.

No, never. I seal, I don’t know, maybe 30 envelopes a week and I use tape. Some people get a kick out seeing me tape envelopes, but it works for me. I don’t know why, but maybe 15 years ago I suddenly started hating the taste of the glue used on envelopes (insert Seinfeld joke here) and started using tape. Between the taste and just sort of thinking it’s gross, the tape worked well and I haven’t gone back.

To add to the ‘gross’ thing, every time I open an envelope I wonder who was on the other end licking it, gross. I also count a lot of money here and we all see people slobbering all over their hands before they give the cashier their money. Guess who handles it next. Me.

Customers: Please don’t walk around the store with your credit card in your mouth. I hate, hate, hate seeing someone walk in like that and then 10 or 15 minutes later they make their way up to the register, take their credit card out of their mouth and hand it to me. Makes me want to lick the pen before give it to them to sign.
PS if you’re running on a warm day, boob (bra) and sock money is pretty unpleasant too. In fact, lets just go a step further and stop purposely getting bodily fluids (sweat and saliva mostly) on anything you’re going to hand to someone in the next few minutes.

And another, for the most part. It’s extremely rare for me to use return envelopes, but it does happen. Annual car registration is one instance. Since they charge a fee for online credit card payment, I pay with a check in the mail, and I use the return envelope they provide. The sender is a machine that’s churning out literally thousands of these bills every day, incorporating return envelopes from a machine-fed bulk pack; I have just about zero concerns regarding sanitation when I lick these envelopes.

Let’s go with this. Can’t remember the last time I had to give something TO Mr. Postman. Happens maybe 3 times a year?

But yeah man, back in the day I licked stamps & envelopes like lovers.

I voted yes, but it’s extremely rare that I need to send back one of those return envelopes. All of my routine monthly bills I pay online, like many others said. But my earthquake insurance* bill, which I just pay in full once a year, for some reason didn’t offer electronic payments until recently. When they did start offering EFT payments, to sign up you had to mail back a paper form. So yeah, when I sent back the EFT authorization form for my earthquake insurance last month, yeah, I licked the return envelope. But it’s generally not something I have to do very often.

*If you don’t know what that is, in California standard homeowners insurance policies don’t cover earthquakes. You have to buy a separate earthquake insurance policy, similar to flood insurance.

I e-file to IRS but Quicken wants $19.95 to file the state return. I’m all for being green & earthly responsible but it’s one helluva lot less to print & mail in that return but that’s in an envelope I purchased.

The only return envelope I use in the three-part local tax one, tear off ⅓ of the back & lick-&-stick it on the front; all with slightly different P.O. Box #s.
[li]You owe us more money[/li][li]How’d you screw up & come out even?[/li][li]You overpaid but will never get your refund. Bwwwwahahahahaha[/li][/ul]

No licky. Yuk!! Germs. A damp finger or the peel off strip.

The only envelopes I send out are for birthday cards. I confess, I lick them unless I have a cold or just ate a cookie. Time is not kind to germs, and by the time I mail and the recipient opens the envelopes, I’m sure few micro-critters are lurking on the flap. if your mail carrier has a cold, though, and you open the mail shortly after it arrives, you’re on your own.

When I do need to send one, I lick it. It comes up less than once a year on average. The last time was when the IRS demanded documentation of something or other. I licked. If the IRS doesn’t like my germs, then too damn bad for them.

You know they’ve got your DNA now, right?

I lick my finger and use that to moisten the envelope. Unless I’m doing a whole bunch of them (like Christmas cards) and then I get a moist sponge.

A few years, a body stored in Berlin since 1919 was re-examined and the evidence strongly suggested it was the body of Rosa Luxemburg. In the attempt to get a sample of Rosa’s DNA, investigators thought about checking envelopes she had mailed. Turns out she moistened them with a damp cloth. So if you’re concerned that right wing paramilitary forces will be given the go ahead to bump you off by social democrats and your body won’t be identified, you might lick a few envelopes.

Yeah, none of the poll options match me, because like Tim R. Mortiss, I lick my finger.

Yes, I lick return envelopes when the rare need arises, and I also lick many more birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc. card envelopes. I don’t understand why there is a distinction for ‘return’ envelopes. I ain’t gonna die from stickum cooties, Seinfeld notwithstanding.

I don’t use return envelopes. I do lick self purchased envelopes that require licking but most don’t, most have a strip of adhesive with protective tape to peel off.

I don’t send many letters but when I need to, I like to use a laser printer to address the envelopes. I found that the heat of the laser printer tended to glue the envelopes shut so the last time I bought a box of envelopes, I bought the self-adhesive kind with the protective strip.

the state social services i use i have to lick the envelope to send the timesheet/card or they won’t accept it and my support person doesn’t get paid …
But since due to federal law that’s all changing