Baker's Dozen II (Part 1)

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. – All’s Well That Ends Well

-“BB”-

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. – All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III
  9. Her face is not worth sunburning. - Henry V

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III
  9. Her face is not worth sunburning. - Henry V
  10. The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - The Comedy of Errors

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III
  9. Her face is not worth sunburning. - Henry V
  10. The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - The Comedy of Errors
  11. a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue - King Lear

Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III
  9. Her face is not worth sunburning. - Henry V
  10. The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - The Comedy of Errors
  11. a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue - King Lear
  12. Villain, I have done thy mother. Titus Andronicus

the original ‘yo momma’ insult

[quote=“Cardigan, post:8411, topic:846938, full:true”]
Shakespearean insults

  1. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage - As You Like It
  2. Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. Richard III
  3. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. - Henry IV , Part 1
  4. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - Troilus and Cressida
  5. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. - All’s Well That Ends Well
  6. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? - Henry IV, Part 1
  7. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon - Timon of Athens
  8. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! - Richard III
  9. Her face is not worth sunburning. - Henry V
  10. The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - The Comedy of Errors
  11. a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue - King Lear
  12. Villain, I have done thy mother - Titus Andronicus
  13. His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard - Henry IV, Part 2

Next up:

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”
  8. “Meow!”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”
  8. “Meow!”
  9. “If Joe puts Manchin on the Supreme Court, maybe the Democrats can pass something.”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”
  8. “Meow!”
  9. “If Joe puts Manchin on the Supreme Court, maybe the Democrats can pass something.”
  10. “It’s freezing! Who’s taking Commander for his walk?”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”
  8. “Meow!”
  9. “If Joe puts Manchin on the Supreme Court, maybe the Democrats can pass something.”
  10. “It’s freezing! Who’s taking Commander for his walk?”
  11. “It could be worse. You could have Kamala’s numbers”

Heard around the White House lately

  1. “This isn’t nearly as much fun as The West Wing made it look.”
  2. “Why shouldn’t I call him a stupid son of a bitch? He is one.”
  3. “Uh, why is a black female candidate for the Supreme Court intrinsically a far-left radical?”
  4. “How can we make one of the Rightwing justices retire? Turn one of them into a black woman!”
  5. “Commander, good dog! Don’t bite unless you want to get re-homed!”
  6. “I hear the January 6th Commission’s going after Rupert Murdoch next.”
  7. “Aww, nice kitteh!”
  8. “Meow!”
  9. “If Joe puts Manchin on the Supreme Court, maybe the Democrats can pass something.”
  10. “It’s freezing! Who’s taking Commander for his walk?”
  11. “It could be worse. You could have Kamala’s numbers”
  12. “I am the freaking Vice President of the United States! I am not taking Commander for his walk. Again.”