Bakers Dozen

:smack: Sorry. And I really looked before I posted #12!

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.

And I had. Another :smack:

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
    I don’t THINK she actually believed I was gay… but that this remark proved she regarded me as a harmless, “safe” pal, like one of her gay male friends.

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.

Nothing wrong with being a doting grandfather, openly gay or otherwise, but I was 39 at the time and was set up with a guy our mutual friend had described as “Divorced and I’m not really sure of his age but he’s probably a few years older than you are”. (Very nice guy, but I wasn’t interested in being a grandfather before I have kids.)

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
  9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”

Blind date while in I was in University, she was not.

Of course, my friends thought this was hilarious because I was the farthest thing from “artsy”.
Back then, I was a party animal, I drank and smoked, worked security at the campus pub, and played guitar in a couple bands rock bands.

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
  9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
  10. “You’re too controlling.”

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
  9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
  10. “You’re too controlling.”
  11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
  9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
  10. “You’re too controlling.”
  11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”
  12. “My mother said it looked like you were casing our house.” (I was in the house for a few minutes, meeting her mother as [del]requested[/del] demanded, and had been admiring the furniture and decor)

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

  1. I’m falling in like with you.
  2. I’m getting married next month.
  3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
  4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
  5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
  6. You already asked me that.
  7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
  8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
  9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
  10. “You’re too controlling.”
  11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”
  12. “My mother said it looked like you were casing our house.” (I was in the house for a few minutes, meeting her mother as requested demanded, and had been admiring the furniture and decor)
  13. “I didn’t get ANY sleep last night.”

New: Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob
  9. Vito the Shih Tzu

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob
  9. Vito the Shih Tzu
  10. Frankie the Interior Decorator

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob
  9. Vito the Shih Tzu
  10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
  11. Tony Farts

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob
  9. Vito the Shih Tzu
  10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
  11. Tony Farts
  12. Timid Leo

Lousy Mob Nicknames

  1. Vinny the Florist
  2. Guido the Good
  3. Aldo the Altruist
  4. Bernie the Pom Pom
  5. Joey the Squirrel
  6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
  7. Izzy the Tranny
  8. Bob
  9. Vito the Shih Tzu
  10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
  11. Tony Farts
  12. Timid Leo
  13. Freddy the FBI Informant

Next category:

Things that didn’t happen at the Super Bowl, after all

  1. Jesus returning