Bakers Dozen

[anyrose]

“How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”

[astorian]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”

[Prof.Pepperwinkle]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”

[astorian]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Microsoft execs: “None- we’ll just make darkness the new industry standard.”

[NDP]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Feminists: “That’s not funny.”

[Little_Nemo]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Feminists: “That’s not funny.”
9. Men: “One. Because a single man will screw anything.”

[astorian]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Feminists: “That’s not funny.”
9. Microsoft execs: “None- we’ll just make darkness the new industry standard”
10. Men: “One. Because a single man will screw anything.”
11. Programmers: “None- that’s a hardware problem”

[Tangent]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Feminists: “That’s not funny.”
9. Microsoft execs: “None- we’ll just make darkness the new industry standard”
10. Men: “One. Because a single man will screw anything.”
11. Programmers: “None- that’s a hardware problem”
12. Mice: “Two, but… how did they get in there?”

[astorian]

How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb" Jokes

1. Jewish mothers: “None, dahlink, I’ll just sit here in the dark.”
2. Vietnam Vets: “You can’t know! You weren’t there!”
3. Californians: “We don’t screw in light bulbs, we screw in hot tubs.”
4. Women with PMS: “One. IT JUST DOES OK!!!”
5. Oregonians: “Six, one to change the bulb, and five to keep out the Californians who came up to share the experience, man.”
6. Psychiatrists: “One, but it can take years, and the bulb has to really WANT to change.”
7. Germans: “One. We are efficient but lack humor.”
8. Feminists: “That’s not funny.”
9. Microsoft execs: “None- we’ll just make darkness the new industry standard”
10. Men: “One. Because a single man will screw anything.”
11. Programmers: “None- that’s a hardware problem”
12. Mice: “Two, but… how did they get in there?”
13. Austinites: “Five- one to change the bulb and four to gripe about how great Austin USED to be.”

I pass

[anyrose]

We can run it again, there are more than enough out there.

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”

[Infovore]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”

[buddha_david]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”

[Dendarii_Dame]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
4. Border Collies: “One to change the light bulb, and then it will rewire the house to bring it up to the electrical code.”

[swampspruce]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
   4.Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.

[Nelson_Pike]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
   4.Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
4. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.

[Prof.Pepperwinkle]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
   4.Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
4. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.
5. Art Directors: “Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?”

[buddha_david]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
4. Border Collies: “One to change the light bulb, and then it will rewire the house to bring it up to the electrical code.”
5. Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
6. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.
7. Art Directors: “Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?”
8. Televangelists: “None, they screw in hotel rooms.”

[Little_Nemo]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
4. Border Collies: “One to change the light bulb, and then it will rewire the house to bring it up to the electrical code.”
5. Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
6. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.
7. Art Directors: “Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?”
8. Televangelists: “None, they screw in hotel rooms.”
9. People with Parkinson’s Disease: “Just one. But it takes about twenty light bulbs.”

[Elendil_s_Heir]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
4. Border Collies: “One to change the light bulb, and then it will rewire the house to bring it up to the electrical code.”
5. Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
6. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.
7. Art Directors: “Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?”
8. Televangelists: “None, they screw in hotel rooms.”
9. People with Parkinson’s Disease: “Just one. But it takes about twenty light bulbs.”
10. Episcopalians: “I’ll have you know my GRANDFATHER donated that light bulb!”

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

More “How Many To Screw in a Light Bulb” Jokes

1. Connecticut WASPs “Two. One to pour the martinis and one to call the houseboy over.”
2. Surrealists: “Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.”
3. Amoebas: “One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No…”
4. Border Collies: “One to change the light bulb, and then it will rewire the house to bring it up to the electrical code.”
5. Yogis: Two, and a bottle of lube.
6. Blondes: Zero: i.e. it is impossible for even an infinite number of blondes to figure out how to screw in a light bulb.
7. Art Directors: “Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?”
8. Televangelists: “None, they screw in hotel rooms.”
9. People with Parkinson’s Disease: “Just one. But it takes about twenty light bulbs.”
10. Episcopalians: “I’ll have you know my GRANDFATHER donated that light bulb!”
11. Dancers: …ah, 5, 6, 7, 8.