Unfortunately in all of the facts stated by ThreeLeggedBob, the information is either wrong or the whole story was not given. Remember, don’t believe everything you read on the Net (unless I wrote it of course):
> 104% of the world’s population is named “Wendy”.
The reason for this astounding figure is statistical errors by pollsters. People with both the first and middle name of Wendy were counted twice. People with the first, middle, and last name of Wendy were counted 7.5 times.
> The Sugar Maple is really a member of the genus Gorilla.
The Sugar-Substitute Maple is a member of the genus Dow, which also contains plastic and the phenylketonuric beetle.
> Tuba playing significantly reduces the risk of contracting athlete’s foot.
Playing footsie with other athletes in the post-game shower actually increases the risk of contracting athlete’s foot. It also can lead to one being labeled a “butt pirate”
> The Internet is not secretly controlled by Martha Stewart.
So she’d like you to think.
>The Chinese word “wonton” is from the German “gemuetlichkeit”, which means aardvark.
The Chinese character for “fried shrimp” is actually made up of two characters, one meaning “shrimp” andthe other meaning “dipped in hot oil”.
> There are no references to apples in any of the world’s literature before 1981.
Fragments of a scroll, Paul’s Letter To A Guy With An Apple Up His Bum, have been found among the Dead Sea Scrolls, but are believed by many scholars to be a hoax, as it makes many reference to the boy band N’Sync.
> If you close the third item in your Windows 95 tray, you will never again have a system crash.
This will only work on the third day of the third month of any year that falls within the third century.
> Roy Rogers’ horse Trigger was foretold by Nostradamus.
Only after he was stuffed and mounted (Nostradamus, not the horse).
> Four out of five American teenagers are practicing Satanists.
The fifth teenager has decided to stop practicing and turn pro. The US All-Pro Sychcronized Satanism Team is supported by Proctor and Gamble.
> It is illegal to climb a tree in Kansas.
Unless you can prove that you were legally married to a blood relative at the time.
> Britney Spears holds six patents and is the ghost author of a popular book on gardening.
The six patents were submitted by other people in her name, due to the US Patent Office’s century long policy to waive the filing fee for pop stars. Britney’s book, Fertilize Me Baby One More Time, was universally denounced by gardening critics, but did set the record for the number of times the phrase “like, totally” was used in a single book, a record previously held by the King James Bible.
> No American president has had exactly ten toes.
Not true! John Quincy Adams, declaring that “The American people deserve a President in full control of his faculties at all times”, nominated Charles Able Bastard to be President during the times that JQA sneezed. So, Charles Able Bastard, a notorious gambler but a man with exactly ten toes, over the course of JQA’s presidency was acting president for a total of 3 and a half minutes.
> A piece of celery hidden in your shoe will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
A porcupine hidden in your shoe will make you walk funny.
> John Gotti had Julius Caesar killed.
The truth is even more bizarre. Julius Caesar is actually John Gotti’s evil twin brother, and got Jasmine pregnant while pretending to be John. At the same moment, the real John and Suzette, whom he had been having an affair with, crashed while flying his private plane in the mountains. But really it was just a dream Brutus was having.
> Former British Prime Minister John Major was based on Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
Rocky was himself based on Charles Able Bastard (see earlier entry). Charles Able Bastard was based on a bad drug trip I had once.
> Mint-flavored toothpicks were discovered by accident.
The inventor, famed poet e. e. cummings, was actually attempting to create mint flavored baseball bats.
> It takes six American Mallard ducks to fill the Grand Canyon. It takes pi chipmunks.
It is because of this that Arizona State School Board forces high school mathematics teachers to teach the chipmunk standard.
> The state song of Mississippi is Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out”.
A proposal to that effect appeared in the 1924 state legislature. Unfortunately due to the fact that the some wouldn’t be written until over 50 years later, the motion was defeated. That same year, though, the state ratified Quiet Riot’s “Bang Your Head/Metal Health” as the state song, despite similar difficulties.
> Next week’s lottery numbers are 7-22-23-28-31-41.
Shh!
> Abraham Lincoln invented the wheelbarrow.
This is not true. Members of his election committee circulated this rumor to increase his popularity. Ironically, Abe DID invent the fast-breeder nuclear reactor, but is rarely given credit.
> Beer and diamonds are chemically identical.
This is based on the Stanford Chemistry Dept’s famous study. Members of the department gave a random sampling of women either beer, diamonds, or nothing. Both the beer and diamonds groups showed a marked increase of “gettin some”, thus the conclusion of the equivalency. Critics have disputed this study, citing the fact that they should get in on the nookie train just like the researchers did.
