Baltimore Dopers

Hello Maryland Dopers.
I the Mighty Osip will be gracing your town for a week.
From the 15th till the 22nd to be exact.
I will be there mostly for buisness as the National Locksmith Convention is there this year. Nut, I will have the 16th and the 19th (monday and thursday) Mostly free from buisness.

So, anyone want to get together and have lunch? Dinner?

What is there to do in Baltimore? I have yet to pass thru that way, so any locals want to throw a few hints my way as to the best places are to visit?

I hope to be dragging my laptop along with me for the trip so I should have a way to keep touch with everyone once I am underway. Of course, there is still a week for you all to petition your Mayor to keep me from showing up :slight_smile:

Thanks,
Osip

While I don’t live in Baltimore any longer, I spent my formative years there…

I recommend you make an effort to go to the Aquarium in the Inner Harbor - very impressive place. And if you’re inclined to go barhopping, go to Fell’s Point to the Cat’s Eye Pub and say hi to Terri the Tattoed Bartender (she’s my baby sister)

Make sure you eat some steamed crabs.

I envy you - have fun!! I like Baltimore…

Osip, you could always hi-tail it to Herndon for Geobabe’s dopefest at The Tortilla Factory:)

I am not, nor have I ever been, a native Baltimoron. Maybe email Weirddave or RTFirefly?

There’s lots to do here, I’d be glad to show you around, but what kinda stuff do you like? “Everything” around is a lot to cover!

Just don’t go anywhere near North Ave.

Thanks,
fairy chat mom Thanks, I shall keep in mind Terri the tatooed La… Bartender (guess which song that reminds me of) If I get in that area I will make sure to say hello.
Of course, I am not big on eating crab though.
ImpundaWhere is Herndon?
weirddave hurm… any good bars where local bands play?
Birdman Why what is around North Ave?

Thanks
Osip

Because North Avenue and west Baltimore are the not nice areas of the city, and it pays - big time - to stay away from them. Stick more to the Charles/St. Paul Street corridors, the inner harbor area, Fells Point, Canton, Little Italy. Go to an Oriole game if you can - the baseball itself isn’t much, but the stadium is nice.

Osip, where are you staying?

This Dopefest, to be more specific. If you’ll be arriving before Sunday afternoon, do consider coming, we’d love to have you join us. It is way the hell over in the Virginia suburbs, but Weirddave will be coming, and he’s generally willing to give rides, so if you’re interested, get in touch with him (if I may be so bold as to volunteer Dave’s services ;)).

Awww, c’mon KVS, that’s the most romantic part of the city! I love taking my sweetheart for a long, slow walk around North and Pennsylvania! The piquant odor of Thunderbird and blood, wafting gently on the summer breeze, The gentle sway of the lurching alkies as they puke on their shoes, the comforting domestic sounds of spousal abuse, the soothing drone of the pushers lovingly extoling the virtue of thier wares, the stacatto song of someone spraying the sidewalk with a Mac-10, just outta sheer youthful exuberance! I tell you, 1001 Arabian Nights has nothing on west B-more!

Osip,
And if you need a ride, be sure to let me know, I’d be glad to give you a lift. And there’s lots of good local music in Fells Point, pretty much any genre you want, too.

[hijack]I used to work in Fishtown, and would drive down Monroe St. or MLK Blvd. to get to work. Then, I drove down Fulton one day when I took the wife and kiddies to the B&O museum.

Mrs. KVS: “Aren’t these the streets I see on the news at night?”
KVS: “Yes, they are.”
Mrs. KVS: “Why the HELL do you drive this way to work?!”

She made me swear to find another way to work. [/hijack]

Well, my flight should be in B-more around noon sunday so that will most likely kill any chance of me getting to Virgina for that dopefest.
I cannot rememeber the name fo the dinking place I am staying. I do know it is walking distance to the convention I will be attending. WIll have to check it out and get back with you.

Thanks for the Info about the um… more interesting parts of B-more.

Osip

I would love to show you around, Osip, but I’m working both days and I don’t think you want to drive with me in the city. Besides, I’m only 20, and all the places where I’m tight with the bartender are gay clubs and bars.

Moving right along…

Definitely spend some time in the Charles Street area, by the monument (cross street is Eager). I would be hesistant to drive your first time in the city - just a note. The Mount Vernon Stable has excellent food (try The Don) and great drinks. If the bartender is Jane, she officially kicks ass and you should be nice to her and tip her liberally - she rocks. Also, GAMPY’s (Great American Melting Pot) is across from the Stable and has great food with a cool atmosphere.

The Walter’s Art Gallery is right there, too, next to the monument - hard to miss. Too bad it isn’t the first Thursday of the month or you could get in free and enjoy live music in the park. I prefer the BMA (take the 28th Street and Druid Hill Park exit off of 83), but the Walter’s is okay. If you like Picasso, Matisse, or modern art, definitely check out the BMA. They just redid the Cone collection and it’s incredible.

Paloma’s (on Eager and Cathedral) is a great club with lots of live music. Sunday is reggae night, my favorite, but they have a live band every night, I think. The atmosphere is very laid-back, hip, lots of incense, people smoking herb in the back next to the African drum circle.

If you like to read, see the Cathedral Street Library (actually the main branch of the Enoch Pratt Library System) on Cathedral and…I’m not sure the cross street, but I bet Dave knows. It’s awesome - check out the Poe Room and the third floor (you can’t get in the Mencken room - it only opens one day a year, but they have a huge racking of decent sale books). It’s truly a beautiful library. Across the street, check out the Basilica. It was my childhood church, and though I’m no longer religious, it’s a very beautiful, spiritual place.

In the Harbor, check out the Aquarium or the Science Center. The Science Center is only fun when you’re 10 though, so it might behoove you to buy tickets to the latest IMAX (I think it’s still the Titanic documentary) - pray to God it’s not the Live *NSYNC concert I’ve been told of. The Aquarium is definitely worth the $12 admission fee, though.

While you’re at IMAX, walk to the top of Federal Hill. It’s the big hill right behind and to the left of the Science Center. Another great view, and real live cannon, and some swings. It’s actually a really chill place to hang out at when you need a rest. (It’s on Key Highway).

If you like to shake shake shake your booty, check out the Have a Nice Day Cafe on Pratt and Marketplace. They have the Saturday Night Fever dance floor with the cool checkers that light up (just like the movie!)

You should pay $2.50 to ride to the top of the World Trade Center, too. It’s an incredible view.

After all that, head down to the Constitution/Harborplace section (if it’s a weekend night, there will be a cool band of some sort playing in the bowl) and check out the WaterWorks (fun to walk through once). Hop on Water Taxi (or Harbor Shuttle) and ride to Fells Point. Kooper’s Inn has the best food, or get some coffee from the Daily Grind. Walk two blocks left for the SoundGarden (awesome music store, low prices, smart staff). I recommend daytime or an evening night, or the crowds of 20-somethings will be out of hand. Other cool things: The Broadway Market, that huge thing that runs down the center of Broadway. The Karmic Connection is an awesome alternative smoke shop/vintage clothing store. Decent bars include Friend’s (Broadway and Aliceanna) and Kooper’s. Next to Friend’s, there’s a great smoothie shop called, I believe, the Good Earth, that has tasty deserts. If you’re a veggie, also check out The Mean Bean.

If it’s daytime, stroll three blocks right to the Thames Street Park. Awesome place to enjoy your Daily Grind java and read quietly. There might be some homeless drunks there, just ignore them and watch for dog poo. (Check out the Gazebo and the super cool chess tables). If you enter the park from Aliceanna and walk up on block via the park (I’m blanking on the name), then turn left, you will see some beautiful historic homes. Four blocks down from that is Fletcher’s a pretty cool live music/bar/dance club scene.

As for the beggers, give money to Esther and Tom (blind guy with dog.) If the dude with the Flying Nun puppet is there, he’ll make you laugh and you should give him some change.

Oriole Park is cool, but I hate live baseball, since you could grow old and die at one single game, so it’s up to you. If you happen to take MLKJr Blvd to 95, you can drive by both the Park AND PSINet, which is all the interest I have in either.

It’s also worthwhile to hike through the Street - a block of Baltimore Street dedicated solely to strip clubs and live sex shows. Just walk through and enjoy the scenery. A block down is the Holocaust Monument, which is really striking, and Uncle Lee’s Szechuan, which has the best Chinese food ever (and turns into the supercool China Club when the sun sets).

Also, the singlehandedly most awesome diner ever in the history of the world is right in Baltimore - at 28th Street and St Paul - just follow 28th Street all the way down. It’s called the Paper Moon Diner, open 24 hours, and it is definitely worth a trip. If dolls and mannequins scare you, though, you might not wanna go, or at least don’t use the upstairs bathroom.

Other points of interest:

Patterson Park - might just want to drive through, though.

Nacho Mama’s in Canton. Great fake Elvis paraphanalia collection.

Loch Raven Resevoir in Towson - great hiking trails. On the weekends, a portion of the road closes from 10 t0 5, so you can enjoy nature without getting lost and tick-ridden.

I’m warning you though, my friend from Oklahoma visited and I spent a 7 whole days showing her around - minus two day trips to DC and OC. There’s a lot to see here.

Just a little advice - stick close to the tourist scenes unless you have a local yokel with you. Baltimore isn’t dangerous unless you make a wrong left turn. Streets to avoid include North Avenue, Cold Spring Lane, and Fayette. Keep you chin up, your eyes open, and your doors locked, and you should be fine.

Have a nice trip! :slight_smile:

I totally have to second this. I personally have spent countless drug fueled nights at the Paper Moon, although being in an altered state is not a prerequisite to patronizing this particular establishment.

[Eric Cartman]But seriously, stay away from North Ave. I got anally probed there.[/Eric Cartman]

What Sara said. ( with two exceptions )

Uncle Lee’s is quite good, even the one on Greenmount Ave., but the BEST in town is at Szechuan Best, wayyyy out on Liberty Rd., in Randallstown, just west of Old Court Rd. Try it once and you’ll agree. Saturdays for Dim Sung, you’ll be the only non-asian in the place.

Sorry, guys. Two words: Bel Loc. Loc Raven and Joppa roads. Do you want a REAL diner, or a gussied up imitation? Paper moon is wonderful, but Bel Loc is the real shit. Just like in the movie. :wink:

Oh, and Sara, hon?

It’s called The Block. The BLOCK! Other than that, I could not have written a better post myself, hats off to Sara!

[sub]

Psssst! It’s btewn Franklin and Mulberry! ;)[/sub]

Nacho4Sara,
You Officially ROCK! That just about covers everything. The only down side is I can get lost in a strange city faster than a person can blink.
I sitll ahve not figured out what hotel has my reservations been to busy at work and absent minded.

Thanks Nacho weird and Birdman.

Osip

D’oh!

I knew that…I just didn’t catch it until after I previewed. I didn’t realize how fun the Block could be until I went in search of cigarettes…and found the coolest sub shop/arcade EVER. It’s kind of odd being the only non-hooker female type on the street, though.

Dave, I like the Bel Loc, but I gotta stick with Paper Moon. Any diner with decapitated Barbies hanging from the ceiling fans, mannequins in bathtubs right outside your window, and a fleet of baby dolls crawling up the walls is definitely kick ass.

I’m serious about the upstairs bathroom, though…I can’t pee with that gargantuan monstrous mannequin watching me. I swear I can see her hands move.

What can I say? I’m a true Baltimoron (even though I don’t have those stupid ass “I (heart) the City Life” stickers on my bumper.)

I forgot some things:

If you’re in the Charles Village area, check out XANDO, this really cool coffee shop. On Monday nights they have Slamicide, a great open-mic slam poetry reading, for $5. Also cool is Rocky Run (a bar) and the Village Pub. It’s cool to just walk around and take in the houses and scenery (and giant cockroaches) too.

If you’re at all into poetry, or just observing freaks in their natural habitat, check out Funk’s Democratic Coffee Spot on Eastern, three blocks up from Broadway. Every Tuesday night, every Allen Ginsburg wannabe weirdo poet makes an appearance. It’s free and fun as hell.

Finally, Osip, once you get here, keep an eye out for big yellow metal paper bins on street corners. It contains the CityPaper, which details every thing you can possibly do in the area over a 7 day period. Of course, it also contains the wisdom of Cecil Himself.

Osip, e-mail me and I’ll keep you updated on whether or not we can hang out. I’ll make sure you have a great time! :slight_smile:

Ok, I have found I shall be staying at the Holiday Inn Express at 1401 Bloomfiled Ave. The convention I am attending all week is at The Convention Center Down near the Inner Harbor.
I have to attend Class till 5 on monday, from 5 tuesday then 7-9 tuesday night, wednesday till 5 thursaday free, not sure about friday, Saturday till noon.

Nacho and of course Dave, hope you can find the time to say hello.

Osip

pictures self standing in the lobby of the Holiday Inn, argueing with the desk clerk

Osip, damnit, Osip! Whatta ya mean, you got no Osips registered? He told me he’d be here!

Good point Dave. If course if you yelled and Sreamed loud enough I might have to come down to watch the show!

Might even find it humorous enough to post bail for you :slight_smile:

Will e-mail my proper name here in a second.

Osip

Good lord. Here I am, a bleeding native of Bmore, and I’ll probably be using this thread for reference myself (they went and closed Louie’s, which was my previous favorite place to hang out–other than Fells Point).