Innocent…that’s not what I heard 
You know, callie, frozen penis coladas tend to be very very small.
The Perfect Thread should also contain at least one member of one gender flirting with another member of the same gender. So I’ll start:
Hey BunnyGirl, how YOU doin’?
(BTW, I’m flirting with Bunny because she’s my friend…and hey, she does have a really nice butt…)
Oh, and maybe some giving credit where credit is due, like giving credit to [sub]Euty[/sub] for coming up with a thread titled “Penis Beer,” which was the only post count party he’s started for himself, and credit to PERSEPHONE!!! for giving him that particular idea.
Maybe a to honk off ChiefScott…
And a small haiku
For TN*Hippie and ChefTroy
'Cuz we like haikus.
Pay no attention to me, I’m just stalking Persophone, the little minx.
[gratitious boob flash]
( * )( * )
[/gratitious boob flash]
Uhh… Where’s the Coldy bashing? Or are we aborting that?
Now Odie - don’t go telling secrets 'bout me. That wild sex we had on your birthday was just suppose to be between you and me. 
And blu - then I’ll just have to have a couple of them then won’t I? Using your boobs - we can find all of the candidates for donating the man juice… er colada juice that we could possibly need. Woo!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by callie *
**
Now Odie - don’t go telling secrets 'bout me. That wild sex we had on your birthday was just suppose to be between you and me.
Well it** was ** good…tell me when will we have an encore…wanna hear you say my name again
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Odieman *
**
Just good huh? Thats not what you told me after the fifth … or was it the 10th time? As for the encore - I’m free tonight babe. [sub]Odie Odie Odie…[/sub] How’s that? 
Whoops! Forgot the gratuitous boob flash. Thanks for getting my back on that one, Arden! I owe ya.
Now Coldy bashing is a little tougher. Hm, hm, hm. What bad thing can I say about Coldy?
Well, he’s…no, that’s not a bad thing…oh wait, I know…no, that doesn’t exactly suck either…well shit guys, I’m stuck. Sorry!
Works for me Callie ;)…how YOU doing???
Ooooh! I know! [ahem]
Why do Dutch Men wear wooden shoes on their feet?
To keep woodpeckers out of their heads!
(Told to me by the hottest damned boy in the entire world. Who happens to be from The Netherlands. Who made me perspire while he was sitting in my office today.)
Can that qualify as Coldy bashing?
I think we have to call him ClogBoy or a communist dictator or something.
Do you like penis coladas and getting caught in the rain?
[southern accent]
Why I’m doin’ jus fine Odie - thank ya for askin’ sweetie. So, when ya comin’ over?
[/southern accent]
Sorry Katie - think I messed up back there and it was your comment about penises (or is it peni?) being too small - um - no, coladas being small - er - well - (you know what I mean) that I was responding to. 
I won’t let it happen again!
I don’t think that any thread can be considered “perfect” without the addition of at least one monkey who’s dressed up as the Pope.
Personally, I would like to nominate Coldy-Clogs for the position.
<runs like Hell>
perfect threads need lesbians. oh yes.
OK, everyone, we can now thank Jester for the total lack of hot monkey sex that will be occurring in this thread.
Ahhhhh…yes. The Perfect Thread should have some (at least implied) lesbianism.
And some pointless arguments about Star Trek minutia…minutiau…minut…ummm…trivialities.
::runs through thread naked::
I can’t believe you forgot to mention their other product line—Dicken’s Cider.
The slogan was you’ll feel a whole lot better once you’ve had your Dicken’s Cider.
Go on say it out loud…I double dog dare you.
Ducks and runs