This is it, so don’t screw it up.
A thread of incredible intelligence and wit. A thread that will make you laugh, cry, and possibly regurgitate your pie.
Feel free to add your own “post of perfection”, but make sure you don’t screw it up. It has taken me years to come up with this idea.
Perfection will now ensue…
Word!
I forgot to add that the 5 most famous dopers of all time, and even Cecil himself gave me their personal assurances that they would be replying to this thread shortly.
Feel the Force, Luke.
Well, I’m here; when are the other four supposed to show up?
Ummm…wuzzle wozzle?
We should be ok as long as all of us get in on the first page.
Well I’d like to think I’m gonna be famous so I’ll get a pre emptive post in.
Hey, I know I’m going to be famous one day, so here I am.
You may all start basking in the wonderful glow of my superior presence now. Don’t forget those sunglasses. 
You know, there was a perfect thread …
::stands up to say something brilliant, goes blank, slinks out of the room::
Hi, Opal!
1920s-style Death Ray!
I burning your dog!
The Marianas Trench! For 20 minutes!
LOLOLOL!!!111111oneoneoneeleven
Sausage
When come back bring 3.1415926535897932384626433832795…
Here’s an appearance by the least famous Doper.
The rest of the “Bottom Five” will be along shortly.
all your base…
Pi IS EXACTLY THREE!
Ok that got your attention, mmhey mhey.
How about a post from one of the Middle Five Dopers? I think I’m pretty much exactly average around here.
Oh, for this special occasion, my signature will also be included for posterity.
I’m here…
Well, sure, if you’re not that hungry.