Bathroom rant!

The BBQ Pit
1

So I went into a Safeway. It’s not my usual store, but I was in the neighborhood. This particular Safeway has one bathroom, a large, clean, handicapped-accessible unisex one, behind the floral dept.

I suddenly got that “I’m not going to make it home with clean drawers” feeling, and got to the door of the bathroom just behind a middle-aged lady, who took her jolly sweet time considering that she knew perfectly well that I was waiting for her to finish. When she FINALLY emerged, she said, “Um, the flusher doesn’t work.”

But I had no choice. I had to go. So I tried to flush her waste, ignoring the toidy-seat cover she left half-fallen on the floor.

Guess what? It flushed! It flushed just fine! It flushed fine when I flushed her waste, it flushed fine when I flushed my waste. It had always flushed just fine. She was just too delicate to flush her own waste in a public toilet! And then she had to face her Waste Slave (me) when she emerged! No doubt she took 10 minutes just hoping I would leave, and she wouldn’t have to face the person for whom she had left such a nice gift shit. Would it have been so much harder to grab a handful of TP and flush, then wash your hands?!

Do men do this? Are they too dainty and fine to flush their own shit in a clean public bathroom? Or is it just a feminine thing? Ya know, lady, if you’re going to leave your own crap in the bathroom rather than flush, please consider either using the back of the building for your waste activities, or crapping up your own bathroom at home.

Thank you.

2

Or: she has arthritis, and couldn’t get the mechanism to engage.

Yeah, Devils advocate. But sometimes things aren’t as they seem. Did she drive off in a Viper?

3

Or she DID flush, and it didn’t all go down. It could happen! And she was hoping you’d leave so you wouldn’t hear her flush again and again, or maybe she got frustrated that it wasn’t going down …

4

Sure. But unlike Dutch toilets (don’t get me started), this one had a small lever (looks like an inverted comma) that could be barely touched and successfully depressed with a closed, mangled, arthritic fist. Which she didn’t have.

But at least there was no Viper in the parking lot! Whew! :smiley:

5

dantheman–

Nice try. But remember, I was standing right outside the whole time. She didn’t flush AT ALL. And it worked FINE when I did it.

So what are you guys, the Shit-Leavers Apologist Squad?

6

The SLAS? Nah, not me. They tried recruiting me once, but I declined. :slight_smile:

7

At least she got it in the stool

b.

8

OK, Billy, I yield to your greater mess (and funnier OP)…and you also get an extra point because you had to work with the guy. (Do you still?)

But from now on I am referring to anyone who does this to me again as a “fuckwickette”.

9

Ha! My SD laugh of the day.
:smiley: :smiley:

10

/slight hijack/

Last year, whilst attending a concert, I found myself standing in line for the men’s toilet.
Some overly beer-ed fellow made the observation “Hey, why wait for the toilets when there’s a perfectly good trashcan right here?!”

I had to reply because I’m one of those troublemakers that can’t leave well enough alone…

“If you lack the self-control and self-respect to wait, then go right ahead. Or, better yet, if you’ve got to take a dump, the SINKS are open!”

He gave me a bit of a scowl and said something, but I couldn’t hear him over the gale of laughter that erupted.

AND… he waited for his turn at the urinal.

/here endeth the slight hijack/