Alright…this “matchup” has been proposed on about every “Batman versus” thread, at one time or another.
I’ve decided to be the one to “take one on the chin,” and post this. Minerva save my pour soul…or my SDMB user account, whichever comes under judgement first.
So, you have it…the Dark Knight vs. Jahweh. The World’s Greatest Detective vs. the Alpha and the Omega. The one God of Abraham vs…um, whatever other nickname Batman has.
WHY would they be fighting, in the first place? Damned if I know…if what Frank Miller, and various Televangelists say is true, maybe they’re just both insane, and looking for a fight.
My first question, of course, is…what happens if Batman wins? Does he automatically become the new “God,” or something like that?
“Thus, I give up the spear,”
God is the underdog… I mean, batman has a utility belt and all god has is omnipotence…
Regarding what would happen if batman won… I believe that we would enter a new era… Batman would have 7 days to create a batworld with a bat-humanity to inhabit it (after all, good did create us in his likeness). Come to think of it, it might be cool… think of it, “bat-mom I’m off to bat-school…” “ok bat-son, remember your bat-sandwich”
God of course created the universe and that makes him pretty powerful, but if Batman could psyche God out with one of those infamous paradoxes like “Could you make a stone you would not lift?” and make God’s head explode, maybe Batman could win. Or Batman could prove God doesn’t exist and make him vanish.
We’ve got to take into account the basic pattern here.
God shows up in Gotham and starts causing trouble with various antics (in his case, I imagine by parting seas, killing first-born, erecting pillars of fire in the air and generally making a nuisance of himself).
Batman confronts him directly and gets badly beaten, even smitten.
Batman retreats to the Batcave and researches his enemy (the Bible, obviously) and prepares strategies to defeat him. Like… uhh… I dunno. He’s Batman. He’ll come up with something.
Batman returns and this time defeats God with his carefully researched strategy, hauling the deity supervillain off to jail and pausing to pose dramatically on a roof, cape flapping like mad.
Batman wins.
Of course, we also have to take into account the various incarnations of both characters. Are we talking very early comic book vigilante Batman, Code-approved, whacky Batman, present-day comic Batman, TV series campy Batman, movie Michael Keaton Batman or George Clooney Batman? And Old Testament fire and brimstone God or New Testament sweetness and light God? I’d say that makes a big difference; OT God is definitely a lot meaner.
Lastly, we must consider that, all things being equal, the most popular character invariably wins. Batman is definitely one of the most popular superheroes out there, but then God has millions of followers world-wide and I suspect they’d be pissed off if their guy lost.
In the mainstream DCU, God is a formless infinite presence more than a figure that can win or lose fights. There was one story involving angels that tried to overthrow God (in modern times, trying to win where Lucifer failed). The revolting angels actually beat back heavens defenses and stormed the Celestial palace, only to fin it empty, and then be instantly smitten and tossed to hell.
Batman can’t fight a being that’s everywhere and nowhere at once.
That said, he has done well against the Spectre, who is the earthly manifestation of the wrath of God (which is the most important part to beat, really, God’s compassion isn’t much of a threat, at least in a short term fight), on several occasions. Mostly because Batman’s psyche proved intimidating even for the agent behind the Flood, Sodom and Gomarrah and the last plague of Egypt!
Other strategies that could work against God include using the spear of destiny. It killed God once, remember (he got better). Of course, then God has to present something stab, and Batman has to resist the Nazi-taint on the artifact. That’s assuming it hasn’t been thrown into teh sun, or something.
He could also hold God hostage. I remember a story in which an entity called the Carnivore held the “Earthborn Angels”, said to be the manifestation of God’s female half, and held them hostage. He actually suceeded in getting God to abdicate to him for a short time, until the Earthborn escaped and beat him back.
I think that in the finest Bat-book tradition, they should publish the first few issues of the Batman/God faceoff and then let the readers pay 50 cents a phone call to vote for who would win.
Well, what REALLY happens is that after the first issue of the two part comic is published, God smites everybody at DC with a horrible plague to punish them for their blasphemy and the second issue is never published.
Kind of like what happened with the “final” episode of Farscape, now that I think of it…
