Batman vs. Granny Weatherwax

Well? He’s Batman. She’s Granny Weatherwax. They’re both, by definition, prepared. They both, by definition, win.

I hate to resurrect the thing, but this one’s going to be causing me nightmares for weeks, and I thought my fellow dopers ought to have a chance to contribute to them.

Granny Weatherwax wins hands down. No two ways about it. Lets look at it this way, before Batman’s even had a chance to get one of his amazing tools from his utility belt, Granny Weatherwax will have fixed him with one of her patented stares, making him truly believe he’s a bat, and he won’t be able to operate anything. :smiley:

Granny Weatherwax has Greebo. Batman? No chance!

Granny would tear the Bat apart, no questions asked. It doesn’t matter how prepared he is, all she’d do is look at him sideways, ask “Are you sure you really want to do that?” He’d be shaking in his spandex in no time. There’s no way in hell he’d do anything but shit himself and get the crap kicked out of him.

And then for a follow-up. The sidekicks fight it out: Robin vs. Nanny Ogg.

:clamoring: But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all

I vote Granny too, the poor bat dosn’t stand a chance. As ** Angua ** said, it’s very difficult to operate fancy gadgets if you think you are a bat.

Greebo is Nanny’s not Granny’s, (but he does have previous with man/bat hybrids). But still no contest: headology beats technology and Weatherwaxs don’t know how to lose.

Like I mentioned above, Batman has no chance at all. And as for the Nanny vs Robin contest, well that would depend on the nature of the contest? Drinking? Nanny Ogg. Singing lewd songs? Nanny Ogg. Actually, for practically anything Nanny Ogg comes out on top. :slight_smile:

Hate to say it, but this is an occasion where BATMAN wins first round, and GRANNY eats his lunch in the endgame…

Oops - re Greebo - Small Clanger is right. Well, obviously I really now have an excuse to be re-reading some Pratchett.:slight_smile:

What, both?


Batman, in the course of his preperations (of course he prepares) ends up reading the Discworld series, and promptly uses his BatTransdimentionalwarpgate to hightail it out of there. Granny wins by default, which rather irks her.

Nah, no chance. Granny’d use a hairpin in the first round to flummox Batman, then apply the patented Granny Weatherwax stare, and mek the silly man think he’s a bat. Ganny wins, hands down, no contest.

Okay, when I read the OP I thought we were talking about Sylvester and Tweety’s “Granny.”

Subsequent posts have disabused me of that fallacy, so:

Who’s Granny Weatherwax?

I’m gonna have to say this is a tie. Batman is a master of Headology, too. No one’s gonna ever stare him down. Now, the Bats isn’t going to randomly beat up Granny Weatherwax (though he, of all people, probably could), so its a draw.

The sidekicks fight it out: Robin vs. Nanny Ogg.


Robin loses his innocence.

She’s from Terry Practhett’s Discworld. She’s a witch, has a patented evil stare that unnerves everyone within a certain radius, she has a tiny coven, lives in a village called Bad Ass, practises something called headology (which no-one knows the exact definition of), and she does not like the theatre.

Does this help at all?

Okay, so who’s Batman?

Batman, if he’s prepared.

Whoever gets to the Death Ray first?

Oh sorry, not in GQ now.

Against Granny Weatherwax? Hah! That’ll be the day!