Who’d win?
Batman would kick all of them in the nuts and end it right there. Batman knows more about kicking unfunny sitcom actors in the nuts than anybody.
Batman, if he’s prepared.
Screw Batman. Let’s pit them against Lobo.
chandler would use his inane chatter to bore Batman to death…
but then again
so would the rest of them
Without putting much thought into it, I have come up with the following scenario which would definitely happen if Batman decided to take on the FRIENDS!!!
Batman strolls into the Central Perk and approaches the gang as they are sitting and drinking coffee while they discuss politics and stuff….
Ross: So anyways I says to Mavis I says……
Batman: Stop your yammering you miscreants and prepare to be beaten to a pulp, then have your asses hauled of to jail!!!
Monica: Why?
Batman: Your little clique is harder to infiltrate than any organized family in the history of Gotham or New York, so that means you are up to something!!
Phoebe: That doesn’t mean anything; we’re just a group of friends that socialize with each other and the occasional girlfriend or boyfriend!
Batman: You LIE!!! You probably killed my parents too!! And whichever Robin is dead!!!
Chandler: Wasn’t that the Joker?
Batman: Shut it!! Now let me introduce you to my friend PAIN!!!
Batman dropkicks the couch sending three of the friends flying backwards and then he jumps on the coffee table, spots Gunther, thinks he’s the Riddler, and nails him in the noggin with let’s just say a BATTO-RANG!!
Since Batman is distracted, Rachel and Joey sneak up behind with a scalding pot of coffee and dump it in Batman’s eyes!!!
Batman: Ow my EYES!! You spilled hot coffee in them. I forgot my anti-coffee goggles!!!
Batman then stumbles to the door while sputtering…
Batman: You haven’t seen the last of me!! I’ll get you!! Here comes dah pain!!
But actually he was wrong. Due to being blinded by the searing hot coffee, he stumbled into the street and was hit by a cab.
FRIENDS WIN!!! FRIENDS WIN!!!
This scenario is plausible.
uhhhhh no.
That was not plausible in the slightest
for one The Batman does not speak like the Tick
Two, He would have easily ducked the Coffee and returned a painful judo chop to the midsection winding the attacker long enough for him to send the other flying with a haymaker Batman may have bruised his knuckles against the cement block that is Joey’s head. But he would have kicked his teeth out in the rage that followed the pain.
This is swiftly followed by a swift flying kick to Ross who would have been in a corner flailing and screaming like a little girl.
Oh yes and Three: he would never walk up to them and chat. Instead he would lurk in the darkness and pick them off one by one.
Batman with one punch. Yes, one punch would take out all 3 of the guys. The women, needless to say, wouldn’t want to fight Batman.
Cast of Friends all the way. Phoebe will start singing “Smelly Bat”, Batman breaks down crying, end of fight.
Everybody who posted here after the first two responses, shame on you. This OP followed by the first two posts may be the most perfect sequence of posts ever.
God. That’s how you know something is really funny – you know exactly what’s going to be said and it still cracks you up.
“Hey, Batgirl. How YOU doin’?”
Batman goes through Rachel, Ross and Chandler pretty easily, but when he goes after Monica he isn’t prepared for her freakish strength and winds up unconscious on the floor.
But…could Batman defeat them using only good-natured yet inane chit-chat?
If he’s prepared, then yes.
Um, need I point out that this would only allow him to defeat half of the Friends gang?
Not counting Gunther, mind you.
Say… you’ve got issues, haven’t you?
You had me until Batman touched Gunther.
Nobody touches Gunther! Nobody!