<VOICEOVER GUY>
"What’s this? The Caped Crusader, facing off against an entire box of mass-produced fruit pastries with a horrifically long shelf life? Who shall emerge victorious?
Tune in tomorrow…"
</VOICEOVER GUY>
No one can resist a tasty boxful of fruit pastries!
KA-POW!
How are the pastries prepared?
I thought it was Fruit Pastels. Batman would have no chance against a box of Rowntrees, thats for sure.
I think Batman could win against a box of Fig Newtons, but only if he had Robin along to say, “Holy fruit and cake, Batman!”
Everyone who collected comics in the 1970s and read the ads on the inside front cover knows that superheroes join forces with fruit pastries (or cream-filled cupcakes) to defeat villians.
This is true, but the heroes themselves cannot resist the golden flaky crust and real fruit filling of delicious fruit pastries! When there are no villains around, not even Batman’s heroic willpower can resist!
Are we about done with these “Batman vs.” threads?
I’m sure we can come up with a few dozen more.
Now, now. Remember that Ike has to moderate this forum all by his lonesome, so we don’t want to drive him over the edge.
A complete listing of Hostess fruit pie ads featuring comic book heroes:
Yeah, but that just means Batman will eat them all. Victory for Batman. 
We can try.
Clearly you’ve never read any Hostess ads.
Fruit Pies are made to be eaten, it is their reason for being. If they are eaten, then they have won.
To defeat fruit pies you must resist their golden flaky, fruit-filled goodness, and this is impossible.
Truly, this is a battle Batman cannot win. But since he gets fruit pie, neither does he lose.
And since he actually eats something, Alfred (who I suspect is behind this entire scenario) wins as well.
So a thread titled “Batman vs. Ukulele Ike” wouldn’t be such a good idea then…
I was going to post something, but I can’t top Fibber McGee. Nice one!
I’ve read plenty of them, but my view was the the defeat was of the villains by the heroes, who used the fruit pies as their weapons. But when there’s no villain, just Batman and Fruit Pie, I don’t see how the fruit pies could possibly be seen as the victors. Of course, if we said that say the Joker used Fruit Pies to distract Batman and then went on a killing spree, the Joker would have been the victor with the help of Fruit Pies, but that’s still a victory for the Joker. The Fruit Pies probably don’t care about the killing spree. Or helping Aquaman stop the polluters. Or whatever. They are, in fact, only tasty goodness.
rereads I have had way too much coffee.
But… but…that would make the Baby Jesus cry!!!