So, looking at the illustration for Cecil’s column today, I have to say that I’m amused that the lady in the picture is seemingly trying to find batteries for her… flashlight. I’m going with flashlight here.
It’s the new flashlight that has a built in… er uhm… Rumble feature… thats it!
Yes… it rumbles… so you know it’s on. It’s a feature for the visually impared. 
Link to the column, since I’m not seeing one yet: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/061103.html
Ack, I coulda sworn I copy-pasted the link… maybe I just copied it. :smack:
Looks like a walking stick to me.
Hey! This is Slug! You’re just lucky it looks as plain as it does. I vote he was having an off-day. 
Slug being what he is, it’s gotta be a vibrating cucumber. 
Looks like something knitted to me. Anyone ever heard of a dildo cozy?
As always, Slug’s apparent craziness stems from Uncle Cecil’s more erudite and subtle craziness:
Now, honestly, you can’t expect to include the word “vibrator” in a column, without Slug picking that up and running with it.
Now THAT leaves a VERY interesting picture in one’s mind…
Is it a relay?? :eek: 
To be fair, when I read “Vibrator” I immediately scrolled up to the illustration to take a closer look at it.
The reverse, here. I saw the illustration, and said to myself “Hmm, a vibrator. I wonder what Cecil said that triggered that”, and then nodded to myself when I got to that line in the column.
And there was no doubt in my mind what it was. When something in a Slug illustration looks dirty, it invariably is.
Uranium batteries are the shiz