So, I was standing on line at the stupidmarket with Mr. Bean. He asked me if Julia Roberts was Canadian. I said “no, why?” He said that her mouth is so big that it looks like her head is split in half, like the Canadians in South Park. Ha!
I can’t stand Julia Roberts, either, for the same reasons that people have already mentioned.
And those are her real breasts. This week’s National Enquirer did a whole write-up on how they did it–Wonderbra, push-up falsies, and make-up. Now, you know that’s gotta be true, 'cause the Enquirer would have much rather reported a boob job.
I have to wonder why people think that any thin woman has a “good figure.” Sigourney Weaver is a good example. At some recent awards show, she was wearing a straight, very clingy dress. She has no waist, bony hips, and the flattest butt I have ever seen. Now, ordinarily, I would not denigrate her for her figure, but a)she was obviously showing it off, and b)the whole entertainment media was falling off their seats moaning about how wooonddderrrful she looked and how slennnnnder she is. I think she is an incredibly beautiful woman, but she would be more beautiful if she learned how to dress.
Jennifer Lopez makes me want to puke. She has an incredible, amazing, bodacious, delicious, body. But she has no class. No class at all. Not even a little. I could never take her seriously–not as an actress, not as a singer, and not even as a sex symbol. Yecccch.
I think you have to go by more than just looks. I think you have to judge the “whole package”. And you can’t dismiss “star quality” either, it truly exists. That’s why actors like Julia Roberts and Tom Cruise are raking movie goers in at the box office.
If you put someone up on the screen that is flawlessly perfect, then they are so far removed from the way the rest of us look in everyday life that it makes the character they are trying to portray unbelieveable.
I like actors like Nick Nolte because the minute they come on screen they “suspend disbelief”.They add credibility to the story line and make the charactor they are playing believable.
A true master at this is Michael Cane. One butt ugly bastard, but once he comes on screen, you believe his charactor without question and immediately set back to enjoy the movie for whatever it’s worth.
The camera really does love most successful actors but there are some I just can’t stomach either.
Hugh Grant…what a wus.
Helen Hunt…Fat arms
Joan Crawford…scary martian eyes
Bette Davis…I never quite got that… just plain repulsive.
All time uglyist?..Barbara Standwick hands down…especially on that big valley thing or whatever it was where she played a she/man ranch boss.
Cameron Diaz - nasty
Tom Cruise - getting worse looking w/age
Portia de Rossi (sp?) from Ally McBeal… don’t know why but she really bugs me.
Britney Spears - too slutty looking for an 18 year old.
(Hijack)Judging Barbara Stanwyck from “Big Valley” is somewhat akin to judging Lucille Ball by “Mame.” It was merely a late-careet anomaly. See her in her prime in “Double Indemnity” or “The Strange Loves of Martha Ivers.” She was an amazing screen presence and (imho) gorgeous – the ultimate intelligent femme fatale. Yes, she always had a rather masculine vibe; so do Jodie Foster and Angelina Jolie, and no one’s complaining about them.(/hijack)
Beautiful people where I don’t see it: Yes, I’m female, but Jennifer Lopez does nothing for me. Great body – a rare female shape in a profession full of women who look like somebody’s 14-year-old brother – but a rather plain face and no discernible talent. She also comes across as not terribly bright, but I suppose that’s neither here nor there.
Men: I don’t get Ben Affleck; he’s really creepy-looking in an Eric Roberts kind of way. Boyish men are not my taste anyway.
The one that really yanks my crank is Sandra Bullock…there is nothing remotely appealing about her. She looks like a man in drag, (and not the attractive kind, either, lol.)
I agree with Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis and Helen Hunt. They all look so pinched and severe and mean.
I also have to agree with whoever said Tom Cruise was starting to grow on them. I thought he looked pretty good in MI. (He was gross in Magnolia, of course, but that’s a sickening look for anyone.)
Wynona Ryder is starting to gross me out the skinnier she gets and starts looking more and more like one of those blacklight pictures of Mexican kids with really big wet eyes.
I thought Madonna was really pretty right about the time of Dick Tracy (a role she was required to GAIN weight for – wouldn’t THAT be a dream!) and Truth or Dare, but now she just looks haggard.
“Love Story? There’s two things wrong with that movie: No Smokey, and no Bandit!” – Eric Forman, That 70’s Show
Barbra Sreisand–ugly and getting worse with age (don’t like her singing, either)
Jennifer Lopez–don’t we have enough bad singers, Jen?
Roberts isn’t as unappealing to me as some, but she really doesn’t have a lock on the box office–lots of flops for someone getting $20.
Cameron Diaz is fine when she’s just trying to look pretty–when they do glamour shots" of her, it’s frightening.
I like Tom Hanks’ look. He’s not attractive, but I think he knows it. He looks like a regular guy who sometimes can do uncommon things.
(Of course, I don’t want to hear what the stars would say about me–lose some weight, nice hair penninsula, excused me can you get any more white hair in your beard but nowehere else?)
Catrandom just made me think of Matt Damon. Ugh! His face looks like a sack of potatoes carelessly tossed into the corner. Being put next to Ben Affleck makes it all the more conspicuous (sp) because HE’S too gaunt and pointy.
“Love Story? There’s two things wrong with that movie: No Smokey, and no Bandit!” – Eric Forman, That 70’s Show
Wow, this is really individual, isn’t it? (Applause for stating the obvious…)
Fabio is almost repellent, as was Arnie in his more steroid-intensive days. I’ve been a gen-u-wyne, card-carrying female all my life and the “attraction” always escaped me. Sad, because Arnie is a pretty funny guy, and Fabio IRL (as I understand) is a rabid techno geek. IMO, they’re the male counterparts of bright, funny women who distorted their bodies to “break in” and got just as sterotyped.
this is tough on any young actor, but those who have the “look du jour” but nothing underneath to make it compelling and lasting. It makes it hard to distinguish the ones with substance, as in…
Tom Cruise is overcoming his “pretty boy” cliche looks. But he ain’t no Paul Newman, a drop-dead physically gorgeous actor who made “the looks” take backseat to the brain.
Winona Ryder: substance under there; bet she’ll take the inevitable Audrey Hepburn comparisons and out distance them.
I’m attracted to magnificent individualists, e.g. Bogart, Bette Davis, Michael Caine, Louise Brooks, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp, Elsa Lanchester, Cary Grant, Stockard Channing, Madeline Kahn, Buster Keaton (and Michael too, in some stuff), Gene Wilder, Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Hepburn and Tracy and yeah, Barbra Streisand, too.
The “hot icon du jour” doesn’t turn my stomach; the question is whether there’s any substance worth remembering. “Looks” don’t encompass Greta Garbo, Vivien Leigh and Rita Hayworth, nor Tracey, Connery and Caine.
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Sorry, topic drift…
“Beautiful people” that leave me totally blah and bored: the “teen pop heartthrob du jour”, Madonna (“the future in one word?: plastics”), Julia Roberts–oh heck, I’ll just be repeating here.
Maybe “turns the stomach” is too strong a term, but deeply annoying in an I’don’t-get-it kind of way are the female flavors of the month. The TV kind, from Dawson’s Creek, or Party of Five, or any of a number of other shows. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Katie Holmes. Denise Richardson.
Etc.etc. I call them the little brown hamsters. Skinny unremarkable plain little things, and they get raved over in magazines like they’re the Next Big Thing. Why? They’re nothings, they’re zeros, they all look alike, and they’ll all be gone in 5 years.
I wish I could offer the link, but there is a site out there posted by a purported dermatologist; that zeroes in on the skin conditions of selected celebrities: Harrison Ford’s facial scar, Lawrence Fishburne’s acne scars, et al. A nasty thrill not surpassed until NBC snaked that colostoscope up perky Katy Couric’s perky rectum: “last week on TODAY, we showed you how to prepare Martha Stewart’s holiday canapes. This week we show you how they’re faring in my digestive tract!”
Yow. I guess I have a broader (or more forgiving) sensibility. Because while I do not fine many of the people listed here the epitome of beauty, I do not find them terribly ugly - not enough to rant about. I just don’t think they’re my cup of tea. However, I do have a list of people who, while being attactive, baffle me as being considered “all that”:
Cameron Diaz. Nice looking girl, but no big deal. Attractive…but…
Leonardo Di Caprio. Nice looking (in a weird, weird way) young man. But I’d think he’d be a better character actor than leading man. He is odd-looking.
Kelly Preston. Nice looking, but nothing special.
Jennifer Love Hewitt. Once again, nice looking, but nothing terribly ravishing. Just your average-looking young woman.
Helen Hunt - attractive, funny actress. But not a ravishing beauty.
And, yes, I agree - since when is extreme thinness considered so wonderful? I mean, if someone is naturally thin, bully for them. Thinness is not ugly, if you are Audrey Hepburn. (She dressed well for it, and it looked natural for her to be that way.) But many people are not designed to be that thin, and it looks creepy when they fight biology and force themselves to be - which is what we see a lot of with female celebrities. Nothing wrong with being a size 10, dammit.
Couldn’t have said it better! Not at all attracted to these types. I have weird taste or so my wife says. I seem to be attracted more to women like the mother on “Home Improvement” and Jane Kaczmarek who plays the mother on “Malcom in the Middle” (even though I don’t like the show) Don’t know why, but I prefer brunettes, and meat on the bones.
I feel that Sandra Bullock is a very beautiful woman, yet no one other than me in the thread, “What Wouldja Do, If You Swung the Other Way?”, mentioned her as a desirable partner.
In Hollywood, however, “beauty” is measured in dollars because it all boils down to market value in their business. If they gave her twenty million, then they obviously feel she is worth it. If they feel that way, then she must be getting it done at the box office.
“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.”
–Daniel J Boorstin
Madonna. Since she became a Mom she’s no longer any fun, is far to thin and ‘buffed,’ and is turning into bitch incorporated.
Tom Hanks. Getting FAT m’boy! His humor is wearing thin and in public he no longer looks ‘genuine’ but more or less arrogant.
Martha Stewart. Never did like her. Don’t like her even more since she now has a cooking show that takes up too much space on the cooking channel and is about as interesting as a brick.
Barbara Striesand. I LOVED her in all of her early films when she was funny and dippy and genuine, but once she got older, she turned stuffy, and started wearing blond, straight hair, started dressing in expensive unadorned cotton robes and demanding something like 10 million to do an hours show.
Liza Minelli. I used to absolutely adore her! Then she kind of dropped out of sight and the next time I caught a look at this once very beautiful, petite and talented woman who used to steam me up, she was about the size of a Mack truck! What the hell happened?
Arnold Schwartzenegger. I used to love his work – even the crappy stuff. Suddenly he’s building the snob restaurant ‘Planet Hollywood’ with some others, toning down his films and becoming somewhat stuffy. What clinched it was when I saw him entering some big benefit and shaking hands with people inside and Charlie Sheen was there – who I like – and stuck out his hand to shake Arnold’s and Arnold deliberately snubbed him on camera. Even Charlie was shocked. I’ve not been a fan of Arnold’s since.
I also think Demi Moore, Katherine Zeta-Jone, Charlize Theron, and Neve Campbell are gorgeous, regardless of their acting skills.
Gary Sinese and Cuba Gooding get me extremely hot and bothered but I can’t put my finger on the exact reason.
Keeping with the OP:
Tom Cruise - Yuck
Arnold Swartzhoweveryouspellthename - Ick
James Brolin - Puke
Farah Fawcett, in fact ALL the Charlie’s Angels girls - Double yuck
Janet Jackson - Scary
Tori Spelling and all the BH 90210 goofs - Butt ass fugly, every one of them!!
Rose McGowan - Creepy bug eyes
Drew Barrymoore - Barf
Goldie Hawn - Looks like she was put into Tupperware about 20 years ago. Scares me.
You turn me on. But maybe it’s because I just spent 20 years in the jungle, getting it on with anything I could attract with a piece of fruit.
Various people have mentioned her already, but Britney Spears. Late-nineties corporate girly fluff excessiveness personified. Completely plastic, from the clothes she wears to her breasts, which I insist are fake, no matter what her mother says. There is nothing about her that I find attractive, not her perky, vacant face, not her artificial body, not her upper-middle class little mind. I count the days until her inevitable disappearance with relish. Christina Aguilera- now she’s cute, as long as thy don’t overdo her makeup, which they often do. Wait, what did you say? What do I think about their music? What’s that got to do with anything?
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
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