It is unfortunate, Grizz, that there are shitheads in the world.
I completely understand your reaction. PD has a baby who died three months into the pregnancy. Shortly thereafter her sister called to vent and cry about the abortion sister had just had. Sister did not understand why PD was so upset at this juxtaposition after it wa explained. Still doesn’t understand it.
Sister didn’t know PD had had a miscarriage in the same way that guy didn’t know about the loss of your daughter. You have every single right to be pissed at the guy for what may have seemed to him to be a perfectly joking statement, just as PD had every right to be hurt by her sister’s actions and inability to understand how hurt she (PD) was by her (PS) actions and words.
However much he was joking, it wasn’t funny but hurtful. Perhaps a better reaction to “A boy!” would have been “How lovely. Are you hoping for a playmate for him in the near future?” or something, I dunno. I’ve never been pregnant;)
Sigh. {Grizzfamily}
I’m so sorry about your daughter, Grizz. I think it was a perfectly normal reaction, and a good example of why people shouldn’t make dumb personal comments.
I discovered after losing a pregnancy that there are an amazing number of people in the world who are willing to ask when you’re going to have children and other personal questions. I was never in the habit before, but now I know that I will never ask anyone if they have children–they’ll have to say “this is my kid!” first.
After our experience, we had a few people do similar things; I got asked several times by a woman at church when I was going to have a baby like everyone else. I couldn’t be mad at her though, because she was mentally disabled and meant well. So I was just silently extremely annoyed.
Poor mr. genie was at work one day shortly after it happened when people came around asking for money for a coworker’s baby shower. He didn’t know the coworker, and doesn’t like gift solicitations at work anyway, so he said no. When the second person came by, he said no again, I guess a little grumpily, and she said, “What’s the matter? Don’t you like babies?” He told me that he wanted to punch her. After we talked it over for a couple days, he wrote her a short e-mail apologizing for getting angry and explaining the situation, with a suggestion that maybe she shouldn’t say that kind of thing to anyone else. (He made sure to say that he understood she didn’t know and didn’t mean to offend him, and he wasn’t trying to make her feel terrible–he just wanted her to know why he’d reacted that way.)