Dude... are you absolutely asking for an ass-kicking?

So I take the (pregnant!) GrizzWife and GrizzCub out to CiCi’s Pizza for a bite to eat.
Okay, some would say that this CiCi’s isn’t in the best neighborhood. That is, people have raised their eyes when they found out that I went there because “it’s so black” there. For the record, My wife, son and I have an Irish-type complexion. But this isn’t the thread for those nay-sayers. This CiCi’s is the closest to our home - so we go there.

Being a big fella (think weight-lifter, football player, highland-games competitor) I sometimes wear “Big Dog” logo clothing. This particular day, I had on a tee-shirt that says “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!” on the back. I help my wife and son out of the car and, as I’m doing so, I can hear the voice of a guy (herein known as “fool”) who’s obviously trying to get my attention. Not in the “Hey, Grizz!” way, mind you. More like “I’m going to fuck with you verbally to see if I can piss you off” way. Fool was seated in a van a few parking spaces away, all his windows open. We had to pass right in front of him in order to get to the restuarant.

So, I help GrizzWife out of the car and get the GrizzCub out of his carseat. My back is to the van. Fool starts reading, in a stage-voice, the phrase on the back of my shirt. Over and over. GrizzWife stands up and I hear fool say “White Bitch!”. I look around and we’re the only caucasians in sight. I shoot a look at the fool and damn if he doesn’t say “White Bitch!” again; directed right at us. He’s black… and fairly obviously playing the “let’s fuck with the white guy to see how much he’ll take” game.
We walk toward the restauarant while he’s nearly shouting “Bitch” and “Hey” a few more times.
Up until now, GrizzCub’s been unconcerned with fool’s ramblings.
That is, until we walk in front of the van.
Fool blows his horn.
Startles GrizzCub and he nearly falls. Luckily, he knows to hold our hands while we’re in a parking lot.
Fools laughs out loud and says loudly “Can’t walk, huh?”.
We all keep walking. My fingernails are now starting to dig into my own palm.
I’m thinking that I’ll settle my wife and son inside and I’ll go back out and teach this fool a lesson.

But then reality came back to me.
I’ve been married to GrizzWife for nearly fifteen years and she’s never seen me lift a finger to harm anyone; although she knows that I’ve been in more than my share of altercations before I met her. And even a few since; but she’s never actually seen me strike anyone in anger.
And my son, only three-and-a-half, certainly doesn’t know that Daddy can fight like a berserker when provoked.
The door closed behind us and I took a deep breath. I can feel the headache starting to throb in my temples because I let this fellow get away without being taught a lesson. Screwing with me is one thing. Busting on my wife and son will earn you a my undivided attention. Keep it up and we’ll “talk”; maybe even “dance”.

But I know that I can’t let them see me lose it.

Just then, GrizzWife caught my attention and said “I’m really proud of you.”
I told her that I really wanted to and face this fool. If he gets over on ME like this, he’s just gonna keep it up and get himself really hurt one day.
She told me that it’ll be someone’s elses fight then; not mine.

Sure, the whole “sticks and stones” thing comes to mind. And while “words shall never harm me” is somewhat true, it sure makes my blood pressure go up.

So… we’re all fine.
I can only hope that the next fellow that this fool crosses will have some mercy on him. Because, in my mind, I had none.

Good on your wife for giving you the positive reinforcement. You done good, too.

Good job!

The sort of person who makes unprovoked verbal assaults like that is probably also the kind who will shove a gun in your face if you try to make something of it, or who has half a dozen buddies in the back of his van just wating for the chance to go crazy on some unsuspecting passer-by.

I have to preface my comments. 1.) I am not a racist, and I look down upon racism. 2.) That said, I am a contrarian and somewhat vengeful person, though generally opposed to physical violence.

Therefore, I most likely would have replied, in that situation, after hearing ‘White Bitch’, with ‘Something you need, Black Dumbass?’ Responding in the same “style” as the original comment.

Eye for an Eye type temperament. Yeah, I know. It’s stupid, and may eventually get me seriously hurt.

Shoulda fucked him up. Actually, you should have done exactly as you did, but in situations like that, the mental imagery that flashes through your head can be just downright gory. Thankfully, in my area, people(white black, brown, other) don’t seem to fuck with big guys like me.

::crossing fingers:: Haven’t been in a fight since 1994-and that was with a white dude at school.


Your son has a father he can be proud of.

Wow, that pissed me off and I wasn’t even there. That some fool would screw with a guy’s family is a mindset I’ll never understand. Good for you though for keeping your anger in check and realizing that there are bigger issues to consider. Your son’s at an impressionable age and you were right not to have him witness a reaction different from one you’d want him to display.

Also, any fool can have a gun and being in the right still makes for shitty armor.

Good for you for not throwing a punch. I know it was mighty tempting, but you never know if the asshole who’s trying to pick a fight might be mentally deranged with a gun in his belt. A physical solution to the problem could have had a very bad outcome.

Forget about that loser. Sounds like he’s the kind of jerk that has to pick on other people to make himself feel like a big man.

Physical violence is so passe` these days. Do what I’ve done–become familiar with Christianity. I want you to preach and talk and generally bug the shit out him so much, a Jehova’s witness could only stare in awe.


Fiona, that’s brilliant! Especially since the mouthing-off fool is looking for a fight. To be met with a lovingly beaming look and a honey-sweet call to Jesus would throw him for a loop. Heck, Grizz should carry a tract or two to shove into asshat’s hands as he engulfs him in holy love-speak. I bet the guy would completely deflate and bug out.

Of course, pulling this off when you want to rip the guy’s head off would take superhuman self-control.

I got it. The guy starts talking smack and you go up and start wittnessing. Ask him if he found G*d and such. Gave me a giggle anyway. Probably though, the guy was drunk and unpredictable and confusing him could have escalated the situation.

I take that back.

Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant, Fiona!



You definitely did the right thing when a stranger like that had a possible hidden agenda. If you had gone after him, he could have changed the story to make him look like the victim and jail time would have ensued, or worse yet pull a weapon out and use it. I had a similar concern last year, except it was with an aquaintence, not a stranger. I knew the boundaries though, and so did you. Living through 5 minutes of an uncomfortable situation is far better than spending a night (or a lifetime) in jail, or being hurt (or worse yet, killed) because of some stranger’s words. He’ll get his one day, one way or another, but not by your hands.

Give you wife a kiss and another “Thank You”.

Sooner than you think, I’d wager.

No doubt. So if I suddenly cease to post to the board, you all will know why! :wink:

Wow, what a sweet story. The you having an awesome wife part, not the idiot yelling at you part.

CiCi’s is really good and really cheap. I can’t fault you for going there :slight_smile: .

EddyTeddyFreddy - that’s an ABSO-FLIPPIN-LUTELY brilliant idea.
I’d have to make sure the tract was laminated though. I think I’d have to carry it with me for quite a while before another opportunity like this arises again!

Made me giggle so hard I almost fell out of my chair. Unfortunately, being raised Jewish, I don’t really know how to preach that well. ;j

You did exactly as I would have done. But, for a different reason.

I’m a pussy. I can’t fight for shit and I cry when I’m hit.