I visit a voodoo shop in New Orleans when we go there. One year I brought home special anti-envy soap for my daughter. I paid a couple dollars extra to have a priestess bless it. I got my son a lucky chicken foot that he claims brought him good luck, until it started to stink.
I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual.
…
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Live long and prosper.
I have an alligator paw on a key ring. It’s not lucky at all.
Much like rabbit’s-foot keychains, it certainly wasn’t lucky for the alligator.
Hi. @DorkVader ,
Longtime, no see.
Have your people set up a meeting with Netflix and I’ll have my people look into it.
That’s where I got my mojo hand. It was blessed by a descendant of a Voodoo queen; the necklace it’s on also has other various dried up alligator innards. I also picked up a John the Conqueroo for a coworker while I was there.
So…@P-man, I ordered “make your own Mojo hand” booklet off of Amazon. They said it was blessed.
Dang, Amazon is awesome. Whoever thought you could order such a thing?
Mid-daughter is walking around mumbling curse words. She says I’m crazy to play around with such powerful forces.
Ah, p-shaw, I ain’t skeer’d.
How much worse can my luck get?
I think I was a Nazi or something equally horrible, in a past life.
Excuse me, BTB. Gotta go to the pitstop and buy scratch offs. (Better go to the restroom first) Now, where is my blessed-y blessed Voo-doo card?
I am reminded of a certain song.
My theme song
YOU’VE got my card! I wondered where it was!
After the week I had, I figured the card had fallen behind a dresser or something.
Our bed here at The Daughter’s house has been dying. Mr VOW and I both were walking like the Hunchback of Notre Damned. I had found a perfect replacement for us at Sam’s Club. It was going to be our Christmas gift to each other: a soft-sided waterbed!
At our home in AZ, we have a regular waterbed, and we LOVE it.
Well, we waited, and waited, and waited to hear about delivery. It was right before Christmas, and we got entangled in other Christmas-y stuff.
I scrolled through my backlog of emails, and there it was, “the item was canceled.”
Mr VOW made some calls, and was finally told the manufacturer refuses to deliver anything to California due to constraints of Prop 65.
So our gift-giving between us was somewhat anemic.
This week, we finally went bed-shopping! We sat and laid upon almost every mattress at Living Spaces. And sorry, no, they don’t carry soft-sided waterbeds.
We found a mattress, and with MUCH deliberation, found a frame and actual headboard. (Up until now, our headboard has been the wall.)
Delivery people show up when they are supposed to. They haul out the very dead old mattress. They bring in the new mattress! And I’m working like a demon, laundering the all-new bedding we splurged on!
Headboard and rails are brought it. Much busy noise ensues.
The pieces don’t fit.
Calls are made.
Something about this headboard set is being discontinued? Look for another headboard set online.
Nothing really works for our needs.
Mr VOW, in full hunchback mode, drags the old bedframe in from the garage and sets it up, so we have a place to sleep.
We are too old and decrepit to sleep on the floor. A couple of months ago, I fell, kersplat. Banged Hell out of my knees, and I couldn’t get up. The Daughter called 911, and two cute paramedics got me upright again. If we slept on the floor, I didn’t want to call 911 every time I had to go pee at night!
Many phone calls later, with different strategies discussed and discarded, it was determined that somebody found the correct BRACKETS. The installers returned the next day, and with drilling and banging by three people, the bed was finally assembled!
It’s a VERY nice bed!
I guess the card turned up missing a couple of days ago, and somehow Beck’s panhandler got it, and sold it to Beck for a buck.
Give it to Big Toe, maybe?
~VOW
'preciate that @VOW .
My first curse, the worse, has lifted his ugly head:
I spent 30 minutes trying to open the child safety thing off a bleach jug. Dang blame it. I was fixin’ to find a pistol and shoot the lid off. But, no. As per usual, I made the wrong decision.
I have this pair of kitchen shears that have a squeezy thing to open hard bottle caps. It opened the lid. Another 10 min trying to peel that piece of plastic stuck to the lid. Got a paper towel grabbed it and pulled hard.
No splash bleach splashed all over the front of my favorite sleep shirt. Big spot on the front that will dissolve.
Curse number one didn’t kill me. I guess I should be grateful.
Dirty, dirty Voodoo priestess.
(Scully and Moulder, where are you?)
Hey @VOW , pm me you’re address. she asks innocently
.
I got to send you a gift.
A crow landed on my deck and hopped around picking up stuff and flying to the rail and leaving it.
Me and Clarence were alone out there. I sat real still. And watched him. Clarence never moved. We had a long walk and he was tired, I guess.
I looked over my shoulder and saw Mid-daughter standin’ in the door.
Shaking her head.
Ms. Crow started taking pieces to a nearby tree. I think she’s taking over a squirrel home.
When it was over I went in. MD told me that’s bad, bad, bad Ma!
Crows are a bad omen, according to her and her weird superstitions.
I’m beginning to think she spent too many years in New Orleans.
I get it. I burn sage a few times a year. I have a ghost room and a haunted outhouse buried out my back door.
I never walk under a ladder. (Common sense, I think)
Watching a crow mom furnish her home is no where in my estimations of superstitous behavior on the crows part.
She just poo-poo’d me and went to call her crazy friend about tarot cards and voodoo blessings.
Just think, I have to live with these people.
methinks you should invest $2 in a lottery ticket.
Winning the lottery would be a real curse. I have a gazillion cousins.
What can you catch with tater log (and a dirty magazine?) as the bait?
Hmmm? Interesting.
A date with the wrong person?
If Mid-daughter keeps up with her wailing and doomsaying, threaten to GIVE HER the card!
~VOW
I got a plan.
I know this makes people nervous.
If you have anxiety, or trigger easily,
better not read this. Just sayin’
Anyways…we have modern ways to destroy things. Shredder. Chemicals. Or my personal favorite, the microwave.
Mid-daughter has a list of ways you’re not supposed to do it. Under penalty of death
Seems harsh. The Voodoo peeps need to calm down.
Right now the card is in the garage on top of an old fridge, in a circle of Himalayan pink salt. I wouldn’t let her use table salt. I’ve been trying to pawn the pink salt onto someone for awhile.
I’m sure the curse is stymied, at the moment. I got time to study up on ways to destroy the card.
What would you do?
Nm
