Excuse me, but that’s a terrible attitude re children. Millions can be made and lost and only affect one person, but if you bring a child into the world and it doesn’t work out, it affects a minimum of three people, yourself, your partner and most importantly the child.
Aren’t there enough messed up people in the world not to be taking chances unless 100% certain that you really really want a child, and are prepared to do everything that you can for that child?
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.
If she didn’t like it, it wasn’t being done properly, same as sex in any other position.
If something as enjoyable as sex is seen as disgusting, perhaps one needs to do some self examination as to whether one should be having sex at all, IMO.
Seems a bit selfish wanting oral yourself, but not being prepared to give it.
However, how ever did we get from fatherhood to 69?
The man in that picture looks like he has two mouths. That’s F’d in the A.
Not when it comes to parenthood. I’m not a parent, but common sense tells you that you shouldn’t go into it unless you’re committed to that kid 100%. It’s not just her kid, with you as the “helper”.
:smack: You don’t set out to bring up a kid in an environment where it’s “well, it’s better than”. You set out to be the best damned parents you can.
And no, you’re not “just going to go back to having sex.” Kids don’t just pop back to sleep. Are you prepared to stay up until four am, with a sick kid? She can’t do it alone – she’s going to need your support too. And it’s not fair for HER to sit up, night after night, while you snooze away.
My cousin’s daughter had constant ear infections that kept her up through the night. (She had to have tubes put in). What if the baby has colick? My parents said I had it so bad all I did was cry through the first three months of my life. What if mom is sick and needs YOU to watch the baby? Not Grandma. Not Auntie. Daddy. YOU will be that kid’s father. It’s not a puppy.
And again, mental illness runs in the family. Yes, you have it under control now. But have you ever heard of post-partum depression? And considering you’ve both been hospitalized, dude that’s not common. Hell, ever hear of post-partum psychosis?
Please, PLEASE, I’m begging you, go over THESE ISSUES with your wife. Grow a pair and look at all sides! Just because you don’t want to make her cry or upset her isn’t a reason to have a child. In fact, it’s one of the stupidest reasons I’ve heard yet.
I’ll try to be a good parent. That’s good enough in my book. And I’ll do what I can to provide them with a good upbringing and provide for them, etc.
We could have sex while they’re awake! I’m talking about a baby in a cot next to us.
Yes… I’d just look on my iPad or listen to audio books or something to pass the time.
I think it is better if she’s PREPARED to do that… then she can be pleasantly surprised if I help rather than just expect it.
Her mother lives a 7 minute walk away. Her 12 year old niece that could also help lives there. And her brother’s wife to be, who has a diploma in child care (including caring for babies) could help. And my parents live about 30-40 minutes away… in the hypothetically situation where it is necessary for me to do it, I could! And I’d probably help even when it wasn’t absolutely necessary.
Yes I’ve told my wife that a few times. BTW there is a community support group down the road for it and both of us see psychiatric doctors every week even though I never have psychiatric problems except for some tears which I wrote a thread about.
Yeah her sister got that I think,
When I say being devastated I mean being upset for weeks or months. It could make it very hard to trust a guy again… at the moment she is very comfortable with me and pours out a lot of love and affection. And also tells me whenever she has a disagreement with her. Earlier in the relationship she was saying she has to “guard her heart”. I think marriage is partly about compromise and Doctor Laura Schlessinger said something like the purpose of marriage is having children. I don’t fully agree but it is something I keep in mind.
Well we’re content to not try doing it for the moment but might experiment one day.
If oral sex is sex then what about anal sex? If one type of sex is seen as disgusting it doesn’t mean that sex in general is. BTW my wife said that her mother hasn’t even had oral sex.
We’re both happy with our limited range of techniques. We’re married so we “should be” having sex.
Well when I was about to get back together with her I sent her a message that I’d be more selfish if we got back together. And she didn’t seem to mind.
Oh FFS…we’re being yanked here folks.
Stop feeding his weirdness, he might just go away.
Please?:rolleyes:
I WISH we were being trollololed. I’ve met people like this - there really are people whose grasp of the subtlety and nuance of emotion never progresses past the literal.
I think people’s objections cause me to think about my thoughts/behavior… if I never talked about it with other people and got feedback I might get increasingly weird. BTW remember my earlier threads about being Satan, etc? Well now I think I’m basically delusion free, at least free of unusual delusions. Lately I even went back to being agnostic. I went from having zero romantic experience to being happily married with a mutually rewarding sex life. Having a kid would make me even less weird I think.
Yes initially it never progressed past the literal, but after reading some self-help material I have discovered that women can say one thing and mean another. e.g. if they say they’re busy when you ask about a date, it is just a convenient excuse and they wouldn’t have agreed to the date even if it did fit in their schedule. The way to tell if they are actually interested is if they suggest an alternative time. I have learnt to see what things people say or do “imply” including body language.
But have you noticed that as the thread advances, the weirdness intensifies…he’s sitting back cracking up with maniacal laughter every time someone tries to engage him on a reasonable level, then throws another turd on the pile to increase the rage.
Meh, whatever, if it keeps you amused.
BTW what would happen if I did what some suggest and divorced my wife so that she could have her dream and have a baby… and then I stopped posting here?
I’d be on the look out for sex… I’d be approaching women and/or signing up on dating sites or trying to get a mail-order bride… but I might think that I would be ruining the day of the girls… unless I were to get more self-esteem.
I’d want to share my inner world… I guess I could tell my psychiatrists/case managers.
Anyway now I’m becoming more self-actualized…
It is partly based on the banter that me and my wife have. She says things like “I love your farts”… I reply things like “even my stinky ones?”
BTW there is a type of person who puts on masks who isn’t sure who they really are - like in the movie “I Heart Huckabees”.
I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. Maybe I’m being naive, but I don’t see a troll keeping the character internally consistent for 12 years.
It may look like the weirdness is intensifying, but it could just be unfolding the way conversations usually do - details, discussion and questions, more details, more discussion and questions, etc.
I could be wrong, but I can’t dismiss the idea that this is exactly as it appears. It’s just too plausible, based on actual people I’ve met.
BTW I talked to my wife about problems with having a baby… I said that she sometimes is unwell up to two times a week - but if she relaxes for a while she gets over it. Anyway she said that she could take the baby to day care one or two times a week… (remember also that long list of people that can look after the baby, including my parents)
Daycare costs me $85/day. Have you looked into how much it will cost you?
Also, don’t have a baby. Ever.
Apparently we can get it from the government for two days a week if we need it.
I think things will work out ok. Perhaps there will be major problems but I think in a few years I won’t regret having a baby/kid/teen.
What if you EXPECT them to get good grades and they have severe learning problems? I would hope and encourage them to have good grades though.