So, I’m 26 turning 27 this year and I have the very strong desire to be a Father. I don’t know what it is but its on my mind almost every day now. I’m sure I’m not the first person to go through this. How do you know when the time is right? Anyone ever have their desire to be a father or mother result in what you now consider to be a lapse in better judgement?
I.E. had the kid with the wrong person, or thought it would be a good idea to I dunno rush things when you should of waited etc etc. It’s not helping either that I am coming in to contact with a preggo or new mother / father every day. My closest co-workers all have had their first child or are expecting (one very unexpectingly). He had a kid with a one night stand with a woman lets say not of upstanding character, but he absolutely loves his son.
So dopers, offer wisdom, words of advice, or share your war stories
I had the exact same post on the ready when you revealed your exploits in autoeroticasypshixation. Now that I think about I was hoping you’d show up in here going “Brah one time when I was hanging my self naked Ms. Melon came over… and now Little melon is the joy of my life!”
I have never practiced autoerotic asphyxiation. I don’t enjoy being choked. In the thread you’re referring to, I mentioned that I’ve practiced erotic asphyxiation.
Well, I think “I don’t like to be choked” sort of goes hand in hand with not enjoying autoerotic apshyxiation. :rolleyes:
I have to admit that I want a son. I talk a lot of shit about how I would raise my children if I had them and I think it would be an interesting experiment to see how well I’d do. So it’s a balance between that and the general life-ending nature of children.
I was with a girl and the condom broke while I was inside of her- it didn’t seem like any had gotten out but I demanded that she get Plan B. I freaked out for the next week. I made a chart of her cycle. Yes, you read that correctly. Her being on the pill, plus her having been in an infertile period sort of calmed me down a bit… but I breathed a huge sigh of relief when her period came. That little anecdote should give you a feeling of how much I loathe the idea of having children. Or maybe not.
Another story, from a friend of mine: He was at a friend’s house and his friend had a girl over. They went into the bedroom to fuck while he stayed in the living room and watched television. About ten minutes later he heard a splitting scream from the bedroom- like horror movie screams. He immediately jumped up and rushed into the bedroom, panicked. His boyfriend was standing by the bed, holding a condom that was dripping semen. The girl was in the bed, laughing.
I thought this was going to be a thread about having children prior to or after gender-reassignment surgery. Seems I was mistaken. I did have an anectdotal story to offer re a biological mum becoming a dad later on, but I guess it’s superfluous now.
Umm i bet you’d probably be a good father… IMO those who never think about it… and end up just having a litter are the ones who end up on the evening news arrested for some twisted concept of discipline…
I can honestly say I’m a better man since I’ve had my two…
There’s not wanting a kid, and then there’s obsession. If it freaks you out that much, you shouldn’t be having sex.
That will prevent you becoming a father without weeks of stress and necessary medication for the woman (the plan B, in this particular case).
If this was me, this incident would have made me decide you weren’t emotionally mature enough for a sexual relationship, and that would be the end of that.
To the OP - I feel the same longing to be a parent. At the same time, I feel vastly unprepared. I make my poor husband have regular hypothetical conversations about how we would cope with different situations as parents to make sure we are on the same page. We have a stable home and a stable relationship, steady jobs and supportive families. When we have a kid it will be planned and we are prepared to put ourselves second for the next twenty years or so… I think that’s about all you can do to be ready. The real tests don’t start until the kid is already there.
There’s never a really ideal time to have children. You just wait until you think you’re ready (you’re comfortable emotionally and financially) and find out you weren’t ready at all.
A wise friend of mine once said before I got married that being married doesn’t change anything; having kids changes everything. That’s absolutely true. Suddenly your life just isn’t your own anymore. It’s wonderful, but I kind of wish my husband and I had waited a year and enjoyed our childlessness first. At the same time, though, I wouldn’t un-have our children for the world.
Regardless, I wouldn’t go baby-mama (how I hate that term) shopping. I’d look for the relationship first, then worry about kids once you’re sure you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. After all, she’ll be your kids’ mother forever.
The Why Bird and I are in the same place. Seeing parents out with their kids, watching the kids of friends of mine grow and learn new things, watching movies about siblings who are close, all make me yearn to contribute to that section of world happiness.
Then, I start to wonder if my longing is just a New Pet kind of shininess.
