Been out of the U.S. for one year -- what have I missed?

As some of you will remember, I’m serving overseas in Sri Lanka, and I realized the other day that I’d been out of the U.S. for one full calendar year.

So what have I missed? Besides the majority of pop culture phenomena and the day-to-day things that the rest of the U.S. Dopers take for part of the mass conciousness, I mean.

I may post a longer thread on what I’ve done in the last year, but if anyone is interested in the highlights, I can expound, of course.

So what happened in the U.S. from March 31, 2003, up to now?

I’m not american… but one thing is for sure… Gas prices are soaring. Never saw so many cartoons on the same subject.

Apparently, and it came as a complete surprise to me, Janet Jackson has a right breast.

The SDMB is now a subscription service.

Frodo got rid of the ring, and picked up a few Oscars.

Al Franken has a radio show.

Fred Phelps is still crazy.

It’s finally spring again.

Pretty much business as usual.

Oh, I saw a bear.

I had a birthday. Some people sent cards.

Bush’s reputation as a Teflon President is taking a long, screaming plummet to Earth, like a Nazi Dive Bomber out of control.

Britney Spears got married.
Britney Spears got unmarried.

Some things change, others have not.

Economy still not good.

Mortagage rates still low.
I got married.

When you left, for how long had Dennis Kucinich been running for President? Well, it’s that plus one year, now.

Paul O’Neil, Richard Clarke, and John Dean have reportedly all gone from “loyal patriotic Americans” to “evil partisan profiteering lying poopie-heads”.

“Ed” got cancelled and I’m still bitter.

Somebody won the World Series, but I don’t remember who.

Bush invaded Iraq to get rid Saddam’s WMDs. Later, Bush said it wasn’t his fault that he mistakenly thought that Saddam had WMDs.

Several hundred gay people got legal married. The courts will decide whether they can stay legally married.

There was fierce controversy and widespread debate.

Bush signed a medicare bill that ended up costing $120 billion more than he said it would cost. Later, he said that it wasn’t his fault that he was wrong about the amount that it would cost.

Martha Stewart was convicted on all counts. Most folks aren’t sure what she was convicted of exactly.

Kentucky got beaten in the second round of the tournament, despite being number one in their bracket again. Some obscure teams named “Connecticut” and “Georgia Tech” were in the championship game.

Bush flew onto an aircraft carrier and spoke in front of a banner that said “Mission Accomplished.” Later, Bush said that the banner wasn’t his fault. Nobody noticed a pattern here.

For reasons that still have not been explained, my user name changed from ITR Champion to ITR champion. I’ve been too lazy to demand that it be changed back.

I can legally have sex with another guy now.

Pats won the Superbowl.

Carmen Elektra married another guy who wears more mascara than she does.

California broke off from the mainland and floated a couple miles off into the Pacific. Something about gay marriage, I think.

Major U.S. news outlets continued the three-year-old policy of noticing that there are people and places outside the borders of the US. Apparently this “rest of the world” they keep telling us is a bunch of Muslim fanatics with lots of oil.

Major League Baseball got tired of people making fun of the name “World Series”, so they decided they’d play two games in Japan. Good enough for me.

Howard Dean went from Democratic Primary footnote to favorite by yelling about stuff. Then he became a footnote again by, well, yelling about stuff.

Florida became a popular vacation destination; in related news, Iowa’s economy is collapsing.

GW decided that the GOP principle of states’ rights was far less important than holdin’ them homos down. Much invoking of Godwin’s Law ensued.