Hey fellow Dopers! I am returning full time to the Dope after all but being nonexistent here for the last year. A lot has happened to me in the last year. I’ve got a girlfriend now, I was pretty close to being homeless but I joined the Army and graduated from boot camp yesterday and report to my AIT on January 3rd. I paid off all my credit card bills while I was in basic and the army is paying my student loans, and I got a 40k bonus so I’m back on my feet financially and it feels really good. my MOS is 25S, Satellite Communications and the AIT is in my hometown which is pretty sweet. I’ve missed the Dope and wondered how things were going here. So tell me what I’ve missed since I’ve been gone.
Welcome back. Sounds like you’ve really got your life sorted out. Nice one!
While you were away, I believe there were rumours of a election or something in the US, possibly, but nobody really mentioned it much.
Turns out peanut butter cookies can cause all sorts of ructions.
They could use a “can do, fixit” guy like you at the Treasury or SEC. Got any plans after the service?
Nice to see you back and so prosperous.
We got a new goat.
pool, thanks in advance that. I wish you the best of luck for all your future endeavors.
Wow, pool, that’s quite the turnaround in just one year. Congratulations to you!
And a new band to boot: the Fighting Ignorants!
Anything that’s happened here pales in comparison to what you’ve done for yourself. My enthusiastic congratulations to you! 
We’ll alert the news media.
Congratilations on the turnaround and welcome back! Would you like some ice cream?
Hey! I heard on the news that pool was back! 
Congratulations on a remarkable year, and welcome back!