BWHWHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
calming down
You know, I can understand being REALLY thrilled about meeting a celebrity. If I were to meet, say Gregory Peck, Omar Sharif, or if they were still alive, Glenn Miller or Audrey Hepburn, I’d be really, completely star struck.
However, I think your story would be better suited to this site.
Jeez. You take off a few days for real life and look at all the fun you miss.
Thanks if I can answer? It would be a fucking miracle if I could answer.
What the hell are you going on about? Did you write that pathetic paragraph to be ironic and funny on purpose? Or are you a flaming nitwit who’s too big for her britches (but not for Engy’s)?
At any rate try these on for size: you should have used a comma after “Mr. Batty” not a semi-colon; there’s only one “f” in “professional”; there is no need for the space between “you” and the question mark; there’s no need for the all capital “ARE” (but maybe you just don’t know coding, which prevented you from using italics); there is no need for the space after the “ARE” and before the comma; nice colon work, but you shouldn’t have capitalized “Does”; “Thanks if you can answer!” doesn’t really make sense and there’s really no need for an exclamation point, you probably could have just said, “Thanks for your input” or simply “Thanks.”
In which case – You’re welcome.
<sub>Here’s a pre-emptive nod to Gaudere’s Rule, which I’m sure will pop up somewhere.</sub>
Wait … wait. What the fuck am I saying. I’m sorry. I forgot about the whole obsessed fan/martyr thing. Sorry. I broke out of character there for a minute.
Um … oh yeah …
Humperdink’s a dick! Neener neener neener. He’s old. He’s fat and he’s always been a hack. My Devine Left Testicle has a better singing voice than he does and he wears a toupee.
Take that, ya freak ya.
Your turn.
<sub>Whoopee.</sub>
Yeah, and I’ve always assumed that people who were stupid and groupie enough to fall for the “I’m famous, screw me please” line were truely pathetic examples of humanity just begging for a dose of the clap.
But I’m pretty sure thats not just me.
Rassin-frassin <html> on the brain.
Um, I just got here, but may I advance an hypothesis? I don’t think Deeward is actually a woman. I think it’s a persona created by a young guy pretending to be a woman. It’s just an impression from some of the passages which strike me more like the writing in “Penthouse” letters than anything else.
Or she could just be a loopizoid.
Just an idea.
Whoever she is, she certainly has provided me with countless hours of entertainment for free!
Anybody wanna hear how Martha Stewart cured my scrofula? I refuse to discuss it, as you will be unwilling to understand. But you MUST:- I MUST.
No, I can’t. I can only mention a twin sister. As they were in earlier days. Lime jello isn’t just for hot tubs…
I dunno. I’m going back to the original opinion I held in the days of the EH thread flood (sooo April 2002) - I like deeward. He or she is fucking with our minds beautifully. This is some truly, sophisticated comedy we’ve been reading here.
Mods, can we keep deeward? Can we? Can we? huh? We’ll look after her… an’… an’ take her for walks an’ worm her and stuff… promise!
We have the annual infestation of summer holidays brats, then we had the Australian teenage dickwits. We’ve had hackers, [sub]trolls[/sub], and arseholes of various persuasions. Could they have come up with an EH fetish to share with us? I think not. The Engelbert thing is classic.
Deeward is a much better class of ratbag.
Not every day you get to see a whole thread full of dopers strung along and played as masterfully as an orchestra.
Well done, deeward. Dunno how long you’ll survive, mind, but well done.
Why oh WHY do get this picture of Jack’s testicle sporting a toupee???
Ferchrisakes … what the hell do you think I’m talking about here?
Jeez. I gotta draw pictures or something?
Yes please
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for some ASCII talent.
Isn’t that more suitable for your own, particular . . . idiom?
**
Are you sure?
Well, she might not think that she’s weirdly demented, but I can tell you that, from my perspective, a weird dementia sure is very evident in her writing!
I concur, this is the most fun I’ve had in ages. Englebert Humperdink, anti-swearing, anti-pop, delusional about writing talent - it’s going to be hard for the next troll to top this one!
Oh, and this:
Is the damn funniest thing I have heard in a long time! I think I’m going to start using it in casual conversation!
BOLDING MINE
Yes Folks and this is why we love Jack Batty. This is sheer poetry.
Jeez, I guess you can’t double bold something. What I was trying to bold was the phrase**My Devine Left Testicle **
My only question that I’m sure if I want the anwer is …what does he call the right one?
Band name!
