This is why I always tell people to watch “Army of Darkness” first, then work backwards!
-Ashley
First of all, voguevixen, you rule. Completely.
And, it is very important to remember that perhaps time may heal all wounds, but it is more important to remember that time wounds all heels. heh heh.
For everyone with tips, hints and criticism, I wasn’t really asking for advice on making it better, I was just bitching on how it has been in the past and likely will be in the future. Marriage is not about being super romantic, any day of the year, or about flowers and cards and junk. I know that. And each marriage is different. And this one – it’s a boring relationship in many ways. It has good points too, but this is the Pit, ferheavenssakes. If I was making a “My truest love-poopsie is so very special because…” thread, it would be… hmmm… it would probably be in an email to him. I could do the same sort of bitching about any random day of marriage, not just the ‘special’ days. So, like I said before, it is best just to think of it as just another day until it passes, so you aren’t setting yourself up for disappointment, or anything else.
The do-this-or-that rekindling advice is fine. I see it written to women all the time. I don’t, however, see or hear it communicated to men very much. But that is a whole 'nother rant.
I like Valentine’s Day, as a whole. I’ve always enjoyed showing love – through cards, gifts, or just a telephone call – on this day to special people – my folks, aunts, uncles, old friends, and a great many lonely elderly people. I hate being lonely, and there are so many elderly people who are drowning in loneliness. Yet another whole 'nother rant, right there.
Of course, one of the most important parts of any holiday is giving many smooches to my pets. But no chocolate!
And if yas don’t like it, squaaaawk-squaaaawk-squaaaawk.
If you want romance, don’t get married. (At least to a man, anyway.) If you want someone to make dates, write little love notes, show you in little ways how much they love you, become a lesbian. (Or if you’re a guy, stay heterosexual.)
I know I’m generalizing here, but most men are not all that romantic. They think sex and romance are pretty much the same thing. (One year my husband got me a matching bra and panty set for Valentine’s Day. Hellllooooo? Why don’t you just get me a bowling bowl with “HOMER” inscribed in it? (<—Simpson’s joke))
So, after a few years of lamenting how the courtship was OVER, I’ve settled into acceptance. He is who he is, for better or worse. He will never read me a poem for my birthday. He will never call and get a sitter for Saturday night so he can take me out to dinner. He will never leave little notes in my luggage.
You either get over it or you leave. I’ve gotten over it. And our marriage is better for it.
Hey, I try hard to surpise Mrs Chance for Valentine’s day and other holidays. It’s always worth it. And not always for romantic reasons.
Boys, it’s important to keep a woman thinking positive thoughts. Remember, this is the same woman who will, at some point, have her hands around Mr Happy. Let’s keep those positive thoughts coming!
Now I’m off to proflowers and the candy store and the Vermont Teddy Bear company!
Wow, you get candy and a card?? I get “Happy Valentine’s Day” mentioned at some point during the day, usually when something on TV makes one of us remember that the day is, indeed, Valentine’s Day.
OMG!!! How interesting to see one post define something, and the one immediately after it be a perfect example…
PunditLisa said:
I know I’m generalizing here, but most men are not all that romantic. They think sex and romance are pretty much the same thing.
**Jonathan Chance said: **
Boys, it’s important to keep a woman thinking positive thoughts. Remember, this is the same woman who will, at some point, have her hands around Mr Happy.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, PinkBikini says:
Become a lesbian… hmm…
This is my first Valentine’s Day since getting married. We were going to go out to dinner, and I was going to get my wife a little bit of jewelry, but she decided she would rather spend the money on some frames for some paintings my parents gave her, and she’s got a babysitting job that night…sigh…
Hey!
That was a self-defence thing! Not a self-interest thing!
Jon,Jon,Jon – the point of the matter is that you want to keep her happy for YOU, not for HER.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lisa
{{{{{{b]Anthracite**}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Lola and I will be celebrating the massacre tomorrow.
If she is feeling better (she has a nasty cold) we might even be able to break out the trapeze bar and the chickens. If she is still feeling like death warmed over I’ll just give her the day off from all things domestic and we’ll celebrate the massacre later on.
Who says that things have to get boring after you’ve been together for a long time?
Not being married can suck of Valentines day as well. Me and Mrs Kipper broke up four weeks ago so today was a bit of a funny day.
Got some over priced flowers on the way home and left them on her door step, carefully oberving the “we are both finding our own space rule”. I’m not sure if this was such a great idea but I figure I owe her a few bunches.
They’re SPOILED.
So much for the threat to never come back, eh?
Boy… Mrs. RickJay got flowers, a card, a fancy dinner and a necklace and that was a pretty mild Valentine’s for us. Get some new husbands, ladies. 
RickJay, don’t pat your self on the back too hard–my reaction to all that would be “You spent money on WHAT? We could of had that other 128 stick for the computer!”
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day at all–don’t even mention it. And I happen to have the best husband in the world.
Oh, yeah. Like its that easy. Bite me.
Are you saying that he should have gotten you a mismatched bra and panty set?
to do something a little different for V-Day. I went looking for cards and found nothing I liked, so I decided to do my own thing. I got some bright red/fusia post-its and cut hearts out of them. I wrote HFVD on all of them in different styles and colors. (I’ve always signed any holiday with an ‘F’ in the middle for over 20 years…i.e. Happpy Fucking B-Day, Anniversary,New year…it’s my trademark sig.) All of the hearts had something different, HFVD, nope not flowers…, HFVD, nope not candy, HFVD,nope not sex toys, you get the idea. I made about 12 of these hearts and left them everywhere, her sock drawer, the medicine cabinet by her toothbrush, the fridge door, the coffeepot, on the window of her van, on the speedometer, then I went to her work before she got there, and put one on the door, and in the office where she puts her keys, and the last heart on the fry baskets that said 'HFVD, how about dinner tonite, Love Tom.
The response was totally underwhelming. She absolutely bubbled with apathy. I could have wrapped up a cat turd and done better. I’m not in trouble for anything I know of, but SHIT! I thought I was trying to be romantic. To top it off a friend of hers calls up half toasted and wants to come over so instead of telling her we were on our way to dinner, she says it’s OK to come over. Then she leaves me to entertain her after a half hour and goes to bed!
BTW, not that I really mind, but I received notta. I gave each of the kids an uncirculated 2001 silver dollar for V-day. Next year I’m going with the cat turd, at least I’ll know why she will be brimming with unenthusiasm.
later, Tom.
Personally, hflathead, I thought what you did was very romantic. Sorry your wife didn’t see it the same way.
I must admit that I don’t get this one either, Lisa. Of course sex and romance aren’t the same thing, but for heaven’s sake, they’re not exactly unrelated.
Based on the usual combination of experience and observation, I’d say that a great many women, if not most, appreciate gifts of lingerie from the men in their lives. It’s a way of saying, “I find you sexy and desirable” in a manner that a book or a bowling ball certainly doesn’t convey.
(This just in: most people of both sexes between 14 and 70 want to be considered sexy and desirable.)
OK, sure, hubby presumably bought you the matching bra-and-panty set so he could see you look nice in them, and then enjoy removing them from your body. But it does say he’s interested in sex that’s a bit more than just wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. Usually that correlates with a man’s regard for how the woman is enjoying the experience.