What kills me is the expectation that I have to produce romantic sentiment on this day, at this time, in this way, and with a card that was hand picked poetically expressing what I couldn’t, just like in the commercial so we can have a fucking hallmark moment.
The day means nothing to me; Feb. 14. Not my anniversary, not the day she was born, not even the day of the saint she was named after, nothing. Just an arbitrary day with no personal attachment to me at all. Somehow, because there’s a diamond sparkly commercial on TV I’m supposed to toe the line and use this day to proclaim my love in dramatic/expensive fashion.
And It’s not about what she wants, its about what she sees other people getting, and therefore she wants too.
It’s the expectation that makes it so hard to deal with.
Oh yeah, your main point about expectations is a good one. If you don’t get a romantic gift then there will be hell to pay. And what is romantic for one sex is not for another.
Naturally, I’m expected to read her mind and know what will make her heart flutter without her telling me – if she tells me it won’t be romantic anymore.
It sounds like you straight guys have your work cut out for you. Why do some women seem to think that an act or gift is romantic if it resembles something out of Hollywood movie? And why on just one day of the year?
It seems to me that if a guy helps with the laundry, says, “Honey, why don’t you go out with yoru friends? I’ll watch the kids,” surprises her with a book or movie that he heard her talk about, and generally shows love all year round, then he shouldn’t get pressured to buying “the perfect gift” on 2/14.
Um…not all women are ridiculously taken with Valentine’s Day either! It’s just a day. The cards are sappy, the colors appalling, and the sentiment generic. At least that’s the way I feel and I’m a girl. I know many who don’t care or who would be happy just to sit and watch a video with their SO. So, while I agree with the Valentine’s Day is lame idea, I don’t think that all girls feel the opposite.
Checking in as a hetro female here.
I despise this holiday with a deep passion precisely because I feel that it’s all marketing manipulation.
I’ve been married for a zillion years and as Gobear so aptly put it-my husband expresses his love by being there for me all year-not just by buying me overpriced sentimental crap on one day.
When I use to share an office with other women, I would always get pitying looks because I failed to get the requisite bouquet of overpriced poseys.
Of course, I used to make a point of wishing everyone a happy VD.
why is it that for one day of the year Valentines behaviour is called romantic, when the rest of the year it is stalking? Annonymous bombarding with gifts, Cards from “secret admirers”, bad poetry, surprising the object of your affection with overblown displays of attraction…
Me, I’m going to ring up my girlie and tell her I love her, just like I do every other day.
Well, I like Valentine’s Day. I enjoy picking out the “just right” card and I enjoy shopping for the “just right” gift.
I give Marcie a dozen roses once a month anyway, so for VD I give her something else. Last year it was jewelry. This year, it is a nightgown / robe combo she has had her eye on. Plus, tomorrow night, we will go out for dinner, hold hands under the table and gaze sappily into each other’s eyes for a while. We will exchange Valentine cards at some point before our order arrives and after we eat, we will return home and exchange gifts. After that, well, who knows what will transpire?
I don’t think gender politics were mentioned, though. I’ve seen guys get all miffed and pissy when their boyfriends didn’t come through with the flowers on Valentine’s Day, too.
Hey, a day that celebrates love… I’m all about that. I ignore most of the marketing machine behind it, but I do like celebrating our love. I try to do it every day, so that 14th of February is as good as any other day.
And besides, it’s a great excuse to buy and surprise her with a new sex toy.
And even further besides, I thought that the Devil’s holiday was Secretary Day (talk about a marketing gimmick).
Seriously? Wow. My boyfriend and I don’t care much for VD day–I’ll get him bath stuff; he’ll buy me a DVD, we’ll go out to dinner, and that’s about it. Luckily, neither one of us goes for that hearts and flowers crap.
He knows the kind of beer I like and surprises me wioh a 6-pack when I’ve had a crappy day.
He listens when I talk.
He drives me to the library and picks me up at the Metro.
He plays with me when I’m happy and he hugs me when I’m sad.
Being there 24/7 is much more important than buying trinkets on one day of the year.
