So guys are supposed to know that on Valentine’s Day every woman wants flowers, a box of chocolates, jewelry, a card, a nice dinner out, and various and sundry other goodies. Is the stereotype true?
Women of the SDMB- is this really what you want? I ask because the girls I had serious relationships with, and more importantly my wife, all claimed that they weren’t really interested in all of that. I usually get my wife flowers and a card. If we can arrange a sitter, we might go out to dinner, but not necessarily anything fancy. She says all the other trappings are a waste of money because I let her know throughout the year, in many ways, that I’m still in love with her. Tomorrow, for instance, she wants to go out to a movie, no dinner. It’s a given that we’ll be making sweet monkey love after the kids fall asleep, but again, we do that with satisfying frequency as well.
Guys- do your women expect an armload of goodies on V-day?
I’ve already received my favorite valentines (or they’re on the way) from my Doper friends!
I’m a chick and I’m dating someone (yay!). I really don’t want flowers or candy - we might go out to eat and then have some old-people’s sex later. We’re in the old-people Saturday night rut. (smile)
I’ll probably get him a card just because I really like him and he can put it up on his mantlepiece (this is what my family calls it, not mantle) for a couple of days.
I’m giving my son (17) a movie pass so that he can take his girlfriend out.
I’m treating myself better this year, so I’m really my own valentine.
I don’t mind getting flowers (not my first choice by far) but would rather get a plant because it lasts longer. I’m not really into the box of chocolates thing either, and don’t wear much jewelry. There have been years when we’ve given each other bigger gifts and years when all we gave was a card and a candy bar. I always like to make sure we have the same mindset beforehand so neither of us over/under does it. I don’t like the Valentine’s Day gift-giving to be one-sided, particularly since I’m not one of those women who cares if I get anything or not. This year, my husband apparently ordered me something which he will be receiving at work today but doesn’t plan to give me until tomorrow morning. Hmmm. I haven’t had time to shop for him yet but will probably end up buying him a BluRay and a card. We will also be ordering in from a nice restaurant and snuggling up with a movie at home. The rest is none of your business.
In my younger days, I enjoyed getting flowers, especially at work because I could enjoy them for a few days. Kind of a reminder of my SO.
I never was big on candy or other gifts. I’m kind of awkward accepting gifts.
Nowadays when my hubby asks what I want, I say “hugs!”. I’m kind of over the flowers thing, don’t need to eat fattening chocolate, and I’ve got a bazillion tons of stuff so I don’t need any gifts.
All I want is something that shows he was thinking of me. My SO knows my love of chocolate knows no bounds so there will be candy tomorrow (or so I’m told) and we have reservations at a quaint little Italian place down the street from my apartment. We also have tickets to a show of some sort, but he is leaving what show it is as a surprise.
I asked him last month what he would like on Valentines Day and his response was, “Men get stuff on Valentines Day?” His previous girlfriends were apparently of the opinion that the day is all about them. Because I wanted him to feel special I created an entire day just for him a week or so ago, with dinner and a show and a scavenger hunt around the city to find his gifts. To us it isn’t about the flowers-candy-jewelry-negligee-sex pattern that the advertisers would have you believe it to be but about doing something for the other person because you want to make them happy and show them that you think they are special. We do little things for one another in millions of ways every day but this gives us a chance to go all out for one another.
Although not an expectation or a given, I do love getting flowers. Since my birthday is 11 days before Valentine’s I get to have flowers on hand for several weeks, since my husband also gets me flowers then. For those who think flowers are wasteful, too bad. I love 'em, they smell good and brighten up the house
We’ll go out to dinner tomorrow night at a small inexpensive place near our house. I got him a pair of down booties because baby it’s COLD in Boston (which reminds me, I need to go wrap them). I just got over a wicked intestinal virus so if my guts are up for it, we might get a bottle of wine as well.
I expect that we will, having again failed to make reservations for anyplace fancy, will end up at a cheap Mexican or Italian place with the high-school kids.
I expect that my husband will bring me some flowers that are not roses, because any damn fool can buy roses. He knows I like tulips, irises, and lilies, so I may get something like that. If he forgets, he probably will feel bad. I will console him.
I expect that we will go to a movie that will be crowded with other people who will annoy us so that we will remember why we rarely go to movies.
I expect that I will tell him again and again that he is the very best husband and man in the whole world.
I can only answer for myself. Yes, that’s exactly what I want. I am a creature of tradition as well as a hopeless romantic. This is not the occasion for practical gifts. Last year I had flowers delivered to my husband’s office.
ETA: I may have misunderstood the question. I want stuff in that vein, I don’t necessarily expect all of it.
I don’t typically do Valentine’s Day, even when I’m in a relationship. I was very surprised the other day to get a Valentine’s gift, but it was a really thoughtful one, and it was sweet. It would have been sweeter if he’d remembered my *birthday *the week before (he still doesn’t realize he forgot it, so he’s not compensating), but I’m not complaining.
So… no expectations, but I appreciate a gift on any occasion!
We did and back at ya! My husband does grumble that he has so little time between Christmas, my birthday and Valentine’s Day to find creative gifts but I point out to him that he’s lucky. My mother was actually due on Valentine’s but I came a bit earlier.
I don’t expect jewelry or flowers or chocolate (though none of these would be unwelcome), but I expect she’ll do something to make me feel loved and appreciated on a day celebrating love, and I’ll do the same.
I don’t expect a dinner or evening out, but I do expect that we’ll do something special for some meal, whether it’s a picnic, a special homemade dinner by candlelight, a nice restaurant, or just an extravagant dessert. We always discuss these plans beforehand, so neither of us is out of sync with what actually happens.
Me too, but there was also a bit of unstated competition over who got flowers and who didn’t that was a little mean.
We never want to go out to dinner that night because all of the restaurants are so crowded, so this year we’re getting Chinese takeout and eating at home. I get him a big box of chocolate and he gets me a little bit because I don’t want to pig out on candy. Our usual tradition is to buy a new fruit tree each year and plant it together but we’re running out of places to put them so this year’s persimmon tree may be the last one.
Nothing for this Lady Doper. I think it would just be a waste of money and effort. I’m normally not this cynical, but I feel that Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday in every way. We love each other everyday, and should be demonstrating it through word and deed everyday. That’s enough for me. FWIW, we very rarely use the words “I love you” or even “love ya” with each other, only with our kids and other family. It’s makes that phrase have a much higher impact when it is used. Sort of the “magic words” of our relationship.
I like to do Valentine’s stuff with my kids - this year, we’re going to get some Jiffy crusts and make heart-shaped pizzas.
I really only expect a card and him writing something nice inside of it, and some alone time (dinner date, drinks, etc). No gifts this year, I am unemployed and we just did Christmas, his birthday is in one month, then our anniversary a couple weeks after that. I mainly want the card with something besides “love, bf” written in it because I know it’s easier for the both of us to express ourselves with words if we can think for a minute and write them down, and holidays like this are a good excuse to do it.
He is coming in town tonight (lives 2 hours away) and we are doing our nice dinner tonight at some Japanese steakhouse he wants to go to that I’m down to try, then tomorrow we are gonna go to some goofy kids pizza buffet/arcade place and maybe a movie. I’m not a chocolate/flowers/stuffed animal type girl, and he knows this. Our gifts last year were clothes, DVDs, books, home stuff type gifts. I just want to be with him and have some fun. This weekend really isn’t any different than a normal one besides I think the restaurant is a little more pricey than normal, but he picked it
I’ve given in to the “roses” stereotype: I didn’t ask for them the first year but he got them for me, and I decided that I liked them enough that he could keep doing that. It’s the only time each year that I ask for/expect flowers. This will be our third Valentine’s Day as a couple, but the first time we’ll actually be together on 2/14: the first year he had the flu and we had a huge snow/ice storm (he gave me the roses the next day), and last year he was out of town on business. I’ve never given him anything except a card, but I do traditionally honor “Steak & A Blowjob” day on 3/14. Last night I made sure that he isn’t getting me anything – because I’m not getting him anything! – and I’m pretty sure we agreed that he’ll get me roses and I’ll pay the bar tab. grin
Same here: we’ll just eat dinner at the bar (which is attached to a full restaurant) tomorrow night.
Last night I made sure that he isn’t getting me anything – because I’m not getting him anything! – and I’m pretty sure we agreed that he’ll get me roses and I’ll pay the bar tab. grin