Or, why is it that people look at me as if I did just because I say I am glad my husband didn’t waste money on Valentine’s crap for me?
So, everyone who knows my husband (or has known me long enough to have heard stories about him) came up to me yesterday asking “so, what did you get for Valentine’s Day?” When I replied, “oh, Crotum got me a card, it was sweet.” I get the look. You know the look – the one that makes you run to the bathroom to check for extra heads growing out of your shoulders.
“That’s all?”
“Yep, that’s all. It was very sweet for him to do it. He got us all (me and the kids) a card each.”
“No flowers?”
“Nope.”
“Are you going out anywhere special tonight?”
“On Valentine’s Day? Are you kidding? Everyone is going to be slamfucked!”
“So, he didn’t get you candy or flowers or anything ?”
“Nope. Look, the way I see it is this: if a guy feels like he is only supposed to show me he loves me on one, very specific day of the year, by buying me crap that costs 3X as much that one day as the rest of the year – crap that is useless anyway – then he’s not a keeper. My husband buys me flowers for no reason and knows I don’t eat candy very often – I sure as hell don’t eat the crap they put in heart-shaped boxes for $30 – and we go out to dinner because we enjoy it occasionally all year long. He shows his love for me in ways that actually show he loves me. Valentine’s Day is a nice holiday for kids, but other than that, it’s just another day.”
So, my daughter and I were talking about the whole Valentine’s Day idiocy. The idea that it’s a holiday for men to shower women with gifts, but do those women buy anything for their man? Nope. Drives me bonkers when I hear “OMG, I am so mad at my husband, he didn’t send me flowers or anything for Valentine’s Day, he only bought me a new car and a vacation to Tahiti, asshole!” I have a tendency to turn around and ask “So, what’d you get him?” The reply is always “nothing” and I always ask what kind of steaks she’s cooking him on March 14th. Yes, guys, I know what that date is, and the type steak my husband gets is directly in proportion to what I get on Valentine’s Day – which is to say, if I happen to think about it, he will get 1 or the other of the two gifts. 
[ol]
[li]Women who feel de-valued if they don’t have a date/boyfriend/lover on Valentine’s Day[/li][li]Women who throw huge tantrums if they don’t the dollar value they expect for Valentine’s Day from their SO’s[/li][li]Women who have become bitter and hate all things Valentine and try to ruin it for other women by sending “Anti Valentine’s Day” cards[/li][/ol]
And then, there’s the two of us – women who don’t value themself based on other people and/or those people’s perceptions of them, who enjoy the fact that Valentine’s Day is an excuse to bring cookies/chocolate/yummy things to hand out to people, and who couldn’t care less if she got anything – or even had an SO – for Valentine’s Day.
The cutest thing is that while my daughter has been hanging out with a particular boy, she refuses to call him her “boyfriend.” She just doesn’t want to be locked into the stereotype of bf/gf – she’s a smart kid. That boy is madly in love with her. We all know it, and we like him well enough, so we just let her pretend that he isn’t. We had to run to the store after I got home yesterday – during the drive is when she and I were talking – and she was saying how she “doesn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, or even a boyfriend,” but she’s fine with it. When we get home, there’s this HUGE teddy bear, a rose and some chocolates at her computer. We look at my husband with the 
look and he says to her, “go in your room, so I can give your mom her gift.” That boy was back there and surprised her. He had brought her all that stuff, silly boy. That is what the day should be like – not expecting anything and getting a surprise.
