Of course not you sat in the parlor listening to the radio right?
People stand other people up because they don’t have the balls to give the other person the common fucking courtesy of taking the two seconds to contact them to say they changed their minds. (And no, I’m not bitter about being stood up–I’ve been been stood up, not once. I just think it’s despicable behavior.)
The only acceptable excuse for a no-call, no-show is something life-threatening or life-altering.
Or, as was discussed before, something somehow blocking your path to get where you need to be. It happens.
I’ve stood up a man once in my life. I’ve told this story before.
I was young, a teen, and pretty damn naive. Maybe 17 or 18? Anyway I was in communication with this man over e-mail. He told me he was in his thirties, and sent me a picture of himself. Handsome enough, nice-looking.
After weeks of chatting he convinced me to meet him. I agreed to meet him at the mall, and then we would drive to a restaurant to have dinner. Well, I met him at the mall, all right. He was probably more like 50, and while that may have been his picture it was from years and years before.
I did not have the self-confidence to speak up at that point. So I told him I’d meet him at X, and then drove home. I felt guilty for making him just wait there, but to be honest, he shouldn’t have been surprised, that was so deceptive of him.
I blocked him from chat and e-mail and never spoke to him again.
Sounds like he made a date with Chris Hansen.
I think I was only stood up for a date once. And that was with a coworker who turned into a casual hook-up buddy for a few weeks. And it was because she got caught at the office and this was pre-cellphones (to the extent where we had them 24 7).
I did have one college friend (I don’t really see him anymore since we are in different cities) who was notoriously flaky. You just couldn’t depend on him to be anywhere at any set time. And then he would get all defensive if you got on his case for being 2 hours late.
For the most part though, if you have made firm (read “made while sober”) plans to meet somewhere at a certain time, the reason you have been stood up is because the other person flaked out. Either his/her friends or some other girl/guy called up with a bigger better deal and he/she didn’t or couldn’t be bothered to give you the courtesy of cancelling. Or maybe they are playing some sort of stupid dating mind games where they don’t show up, get you all worked up and then offer you the carrot of another date.
Although one time I accidently stood up my girlfriend because I got caught watching a James Bond marathon.
Anyhow, the point is people stand other people up because they simply just don’t give a shit.
In that case, though, you’d presumably call/email/text as soon as you were able. You wouldn’t just leave the person hanging for a day or two. If there was some obstacle that wasn’t life-threatening or life-altering, you’d still be a dick for not showing up **and **not contacting the person when you got home.
Honestly, It is not worth it keeping it to yourself if you have the opportunity to see her again discuss the situation with her but do not WINE OR BITCH be man be cool about it you have to be emotionless when discussing it and bring it up as a bomb so it is unexpected after that you are free and everything is on her
After 3 years, I’m going to go ahead and guess that the OP has either moved on…
Probably, but such threads are timeless.
I stood a girl up once…she wanted to meet me after she finished work @ 10pm. My normal work day was 5am-130pm. So I am puttering around the house playing a computer game…finally turned on the tv and was laying on my bed watching tv…
yeah…fell asleep.
Having been in and out of the personal ads of one kind or another since oh 1995 I have probably met 150 women in person via ads. Over the years I have been just flat stood up probably 10 times. One called 3 hours later apologized profusely and even offered to meet tomorrow and buy dinner to make it up to me, she no showed again.
I have run across ALOT of flaky personal ad respondents, the most common reason in my experience, married or otherwise attached.
…or has been sitting there for 3 years, pulling the lamp chain on and off, listening to Madam Butterfly
Since my divorce seven years ago, I have been on many dozens of first dates and I haven’t been stood up once. The closest was a woman calling me in the early afternoon and telling me that an emergency came up and they she’d have to cancel for the night. In her case it was like the third time that she did that in a fairly short period of time so I told her that I wasn’t interested in seeing her anymore. I’ve never been left waiting for a no-show nor have I ever done that to someone else.
I stood someone up once on complete accident. I had made the date shortly after taking some Ambien to help fall asleep, and my memory was completely gone until a few days later when I tried talking to the same guy and he was upset with me… then my memories of it all came back. I tried to tell him what happened but I don’t think he believed me and frankly I don’t blame him 
To me standing up a date is the n-word of the dating world. Baring the various valid excuses generally already mentioned.
It’s happened to me a few times. Some with worthy excuses. Some with flakey women in which I probably did dodge a bullet but still.
nm
I’ve been stood up a few times, usually it was bc the girls had found something better to do / were with someone they didn’t feel they could explain to bc that person didn’t know about me or wouldn’t approve or something.
One time I waited for over an hour for this girl at a restaurant in college. I was finally ready to leave when she showed up and explained that, basically, she was on another date at the "Hillel House " or something and had lost track of time. It kind of made me upset bc we had been dating (me taking her out to nice restaurants to impress her) / sleeping together just about every weekend for months at that point and I didn’t have anyone else in my life, though I could have. But what can you do? I just liked (still do actually) her more than she liked / likes me. She never said she wasn’t going to be seeing other people, so if I didn’t like it I could find someone else. I eventually did and she seemed surprised. Huge mistake.
Another time the girl retroactively explained that she had to wash her hair. That was insulting, especially since I had canceled another date with a girl I liked more who had unexpectedly asked me out last minute. It’s such a cliche excuse. The girl was from Germany, maybe it’s not such an obviously lie there.
The worst was when it was my insane ex and her excuse was that she had cancer. She was lying.
I have only been stood up once, and the guy’s excuse was that he fell asleep. Possibly true because he was the type to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but he turned out later in the relationship (I kept seeing him after the standing up incident) to be a jerk so possibly not true. I think when most people, especially women, stand their dates up, it is because they decided they don’t really want to go on the date for whatever reason (not interested), but they don’t have the guts to tell the other person.
I was never stood up for a romantic date, but I’ve seen it happen to people, and seen some people do the standing up. In the old days it could have been simply a mistake, but now people have cell phones so there’s no ‘stuck in traffic’ excuse. Those I’ve seen stand someone up seem to think they’ve made a bad decision to accept the date in the first place, and then are just too immature to deal with it. Even if I’d made a bad decision like that I’d call the person and at a minimum say that something came up.
BTW: Bad decision usually means a decision made while drunk.
I’ve kind of done it multiple times. Not like we were supposed to meet somewhere and I just didn’t show up, but if they KEPT pressing for a date and I’d hint VERY STRONGLY that I wasn’t interested, but some people can’t take no for an answer, and some people just aren’t that assertive (me).
First I’d usually make excuses for several different times they suggested, then I’d finally say MAYBE about a particular day, and they would take that as YES even though anyone in their right mind would know I didn’t want to, and then when that day came I wouldn’t answer their calls. It’s only mean when you really seem interested and they’re left wondering wtf happened. In these situations they were trying to intimidate me and I took the passive-aggressive approach instead of the assertive approach, which obviously isn’t ideal, but I don’t feel bad for them because they’re the ones who were trying to intimidate me.
I’ve never been stood up on a romantic date, but I’ve been stood up by a former friend twice.
Once we were supposed to play tennis. He wasn’t there, wasn’t answering his cell, I even tried reaching him via Facebook messenger on my phone. There was a Target nearby so I went there instead. His excuse was that he’d left his phone at a friend’s house and was waiting for me somewhere where I couldn’t see him.
In the next case we were supposed to meet for dinner at his apt then go to church, something he kept REALLY pushing me to do with him even though I’m an atheist. I agreed to go because I’ve never been and figured I should see what it’s like. Wasn’t answering his phone or his door, so I went to the grocery store which was vaguely awkward because I had food for preparing dinner with me and was worried they’d think I’d stolen the food. His excuse was that he’d taken a sleeping pill and couldn’t wake up.
Anyway, we’re no longer friends.
Is it just me, or are all the January newbies resurrecting zombie threads? I can’t recall a time when there were so many old threads come back to life, and yep, join date is Jan. 2013.